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WHY are we on this road? WHY are we on this road?

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Unread 04-04-2006, 06:48 PM
WHY are we on this road?

I am totally FRUSTRATED!

I've been researching my belly pain since my surgery, I'm just wondering WHY there are so many people that have complaints after surgery for a hysterectomy. WHY there has to be a "road less traveled"?

WHY were we not told that "this and that" could, would happen", not given any items to watch for in the future, the RED FLAGS, so to speak.

The only thing I had to sign off on was that I would not have any more children and the possibility of infection.

WHY are our doctors not telling us of all the possible complications?!

Would we have gone through the inital operation if given a "quote", that it could cause....xyz..? and at the cost of $$$$ which will lead us to bankrupcy if we don't have a savings account?

Just wondering,
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Unread 04-04-2006, 07:19 PM
WHY are we on this road?

Unfortunately I don't think any of us can know why. And I don't think that our doctors can know what our fates were going to be either. I don't blame my doctor at all. At the time, it was the best decision for me to have the hyst. I don't think there's any way that anyone could've known that it wouldn't fix all my problems.

I choose not to dwell on the past, but to look forward and try to find the answers for the problems I am dealing with now. What's in the past cannot be undone, but I can try and change the future.

One other thing to keep in mind is that what you see here on The Road is only those that are still having problems. What we don't see is those that are not, because they don't have a need to post on The Road. I know that doesn't solve our problems, but there are women who have a hysterectomy and do not have further problems.
Unread 04-04-2006, 07:55 PM

I admire your complete forgiveness of your doctor and wish I could feel that. Perhaps learning that there was another method of performing an SAH which would have prevented the complication of a colovaginal fistula and subsequent RSD keeps me from letting go of blaming her. I am just beginning to accept that I will live with this excruciating pain for the rest of my life so I'm not there yet with total forgiveness. I go in and out of it and hope to achieve it one day. Any advice to help me along the way? Kim, you are wise and articulate. Thank you, Shelley
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Unread 04-04-2006, 09:39 PM
WHY are we on this road?

You're so right Shelley, Kim is wise and articulate.

I so agree with her comment about not being able to undo the past, but having some control over the future. If we're not careful, we can become so embittered and angry over past issues that we fail to notice the little joys and happy moments that are happening right now. I think you have to find an acceptance of what's happened in the past....not easy I know, but necessary in order to move on and build a happy and positive future. Unfortunately doctors are human like the rest of us, and they make mistakes like we all do. Anytime we have surgery there's the possibility of something going wrong, and no doctor can list every complication that may occur in any given surgery.

I used to ask myself the question 'would I have interstitial cystitis now if I hadn't had the hysterectomy, as that's when it started'. My answer now is, 'does it really matter'. I've got it, and I have to learn to deal with it the best way I can. I choose to hope that in the future I may get better. Who knows! I think it can become really easy to let the negative aspects of all this overwhelm us and keep us permanently depressed and angry. We didn't ask for it to happen, but that's how it is. Life isn't fair, awful things happen to very nice people as we know, but it's how you choose to live it that can make your future bright and hopeful, or dark and depressing. I know the journey I want to take!

Unread 04-05-2006, 10:01 PM
Why are we on this road

In October 2004 I had a laparoscopic supracervical hysterectomy (LSH) for fibroids. I was very trusting and did not get a second opinion. All I had was fibroids, no bleeding, cramping or major problems. But I did have bad dizziness and vertigo and my gyn told me that it was caused by "degenerating fibroids giving off toxic waste products." Of course, I now know that is totally ridiculous. At the time I believed what I was told.

My gyn referrred me to a surgeon who supposedly had experience in LSH and I had the surgery. I had terrible complications and ended up having to have a second surgery (by the same surgeon) to stop life threatening bleeding. I am now a virtual invalid. Due to the surgeon's incompetence, I now have intractable pelvic/abdominal pain, complete urinary incontinence, damaged bowel, inability to have a bowel movement without manual extraction of stool and ongoing infections from the cervical remnant. Could I forgive this surgeon and the gyn who referred me to her? NEVER. My life has been ruined by these surgeries. I admire those of you that can find it in your heart to forgive doctors who did so much damage to you. I live with this terrible surgical experience every minute of every day and I will never get over it.
Unread 04-06-2006, 06:28 AM
Unresolved Forgiveness

Dear Westcoast,

I totally understand your anger at your dr's. I understand that you feel they do not deserve forgiveness and they should be punished. However, I know what unresolved forgiveness can do. It can completely stop the healing process. If you are filled with anger and unforgiveness for someone it can and probably will make you sick and make your current problems worse. You don't have to like them or ever see them again but I assure you if you really forgive them in your heart, only then can you really begin to heal. I also know that forgiveness takes time but when it comes, you will feel a shift in your spirit and you may be surprised at how much better you will feel.

Blessings to you, Kay-Tee
Unread 04-06-2006, 05:51 PM

Hi Deb, I have to agree with you about not being told everything. I feel that there are enough woman on this road to warrant the fact that complications happen often enough that we should be warned. The first person I had to forgive for this situation I found myself in was MYSELF. I kept blaming myself for not getting a second opinion, believing totally in a doctor as if their word was holy. I have since forgiven myself, but the "what it's, if only's" keep creaping back into my head with each new problem. Forgiving my doctor is another issue. I won't, I can't. I went to him four times since the hyst and was just blown off each time. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness if my opinion. But what I did do was move on. Found a new doctor whom I trust and who does listen, and gotten on with trying to "fix" my problems as best as they can be fixed. One sister once said on one of these boards to imagine that you were in a car accident. It wasn't your fault, hating the other driver won't get you anywhere, and you still have to find your way back to some sort of health. That's how I'm dealing with this. I was dealt a crappy hand, could have been better, certainly could have been worse. Life is not fair, never is. But I will go on, and so will you. We will never be the same, but don't let your feelings for that doctor take anymore from you.

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