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I know I am the grown up but...  (kids mentioned) I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

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Unread 04-05-2006, 08:42 AM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

I have 24 hours to go (just under) and I am NOT ready to be NEEDED so much by three little kids.

I was freaking out this morning about how much I still have left to do and each kid sensed that and responded appropriately with their own meltdowns and demands.

Today **I** want to be the one that needs hugs!!! I can't stand a single issue and feel like exploding over the tiniest things!!!!

I've been working my rear end off to get ready and gotten 3-5 hours sleep a night for a week. Haven't showered since Sunday, and I am still not done with my list (though close).

At the same time, my head is telling me that my kids should be my first priority on this "day before", and that to hell with my work and being prepared logistically, I should take time for the hugs NOW because "what if?" and afterwards it may hurt too much.

So that conflict is also giving me agony, since I KNOW I should drop everything and be a good mom on their last morning with me for a while, but I just CAN'T!!!!!!!!!

So, to sum it up: I am panicked about completing my work tasks, frustrated about the home tasks that I know I can't complete, and guilty over not devoting myself to the most important people in my lives as I near d-day.

This stinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PS As if this weren't enough, my Mom was coming to help from out of state, BUT one of my previous foster sisters is in labor right this minute and possibly having complications. She's still very young (18) and somewhat alone and scared and my Mom is her main support adult... so my Mom has to detour to "K"'s city and see what's up at the hospital there before she can come here to help. Mom was hoping to be with me (or my kids) when I was in the hospital and then go see "K" when she is released and needs help at home with a new baby... But of course babies don't know about plans. And the symbolism of a new baby being born about the time I lose my womb is not lost on me either... I KNOW I am strong enough to weather this, but WHY oh WHY couldn't it be just a tad easier?????

PPS Thanks for listening to the rant. Now, off to work with me.
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Unread 04-05-2006, 09:35 AM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

I don't know if this will help but I have 2 days to go until my TAH and I have just resigned myself that not everything will get done and I am going to enjoy my kids before I go in as I won't be able to fully for a couple of weeks. You need to take care of you first as this will only speed your recovery - enlist your friends, family and significant other.
I am going to get a housecleaner for one day to clean my whole house so that I don't stress about it. I wish you all the strength for your surgery and good luck healing!!! I will be in the same position so hopefully we can connect after our sugerys to see how we are both doing!!!! Take care and relax as much as you can!!!!
Unread 04-05-2006, 09:39 AM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

You are not alone.
I am sooooo glad you posted this message.
I am feeling exactly the same, and I have only one child to look after right now.
I have gobbled chocolates at a rate that PMS doesn't normally warrant, shouted at the dogs, lost my temper with my (very supportive) DH and screamed at my DD about 500 times today, not to mention acting like a complete lunatic at work (I work mornings in an office).
It's 4.30pm in South Africa right now and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage till noon tomorrow when I'm due at the castle.
Your post made me feel normal. Thanks!
And now you'll have to excuse me as I delve into some more chocolate
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Unread 04-05-2006, 09:56 AM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

Is it not great to feel normal - until I discovered this website I really did not feel normal and now all of the stories, advice and information has made me feel like I am not losing my mind - thanks to you all and good luck - I am sending good vibes of healing to all of you strong women!!!!!!
Unread 04-05-2006, 10:04 AM
Bless you both!

Free: Yep, already resigned to leaving behind a messy house, etc. and hoping that someone will think to change my sheets and pick up things I could trip on! Wish I had your calm!

Ansie: We must be soul sisters as well as hyster sisters. I know I don't want to remember the meltdowns as my last memories before the surgery, but my body isn't listening to my brain. Think everyone should just clear out and leave me alone for this last day!

Hugs all around!
Unread 04-05-2006, 10:58 AM
What do you tell your children?

I have two days to go before my trip to the castle and I figure my house is as good as its going to get. I have my room clean and organized, I think thats the important thing. I have 5 kids, 20,14,14 11,7. They are on spring break right now so I'm trying to spend more time with them before my surgery but its hard because I get tired quickly and I'm in pain. My oldest daughter knows what kind of surgery I'm having. What about my other kids. What do I tell them? My 14 yr olds are twin boys and the others are girls. I don't want to be graphic or scare them. Any suggestions?
thanks sisters
Unread 04-05-2006, 12:07 PM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

My 7 year old has been telling the neighbors exactly what is going to happen to me... (even ones I would rather not share these kind of details with - ha!)

In her words:

"Mommy has something growing on her uterus. It makes her bleed too much when she has her period. So she's going to the hospital where they will take that out of her. Then she's going to need a pillow over her tummy to protect it in case it gets bumped."

I've told something similar to all my kids (7,6,4) and they seem OK with it. I talked about how they sew people up after an incision and they have seen stitches before (not such a large scale) so they're OK with that concept. We talked about how amazing that was...

We also talked a bit about how I won't be able to pick things up from the floor or walk and sit much. They are loving playing with my EZ Grabber. I've told them, they can play with it all they want AFTER I am done with it. So for now it is a secret treat, with about 3 grabs a day for each kid.

They seem OK with it all... but I am still home. It helps that grandma is coming today and that they know they get to go to the hospital to see me (at some point).

Good luck! I hope they get it without too much worry.

Unread 04-06-2006, 10:47 AM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

I told my kids exactly what was happening. My kids are 15, 13, and 12 year old twins. The oldest, is a boy, and he lives with his dad. It just so happened he was coming up here 2 days after my surgery, and I was very happy for his help. He is over 6 ft tall, and he was there to help me get up, walked me to the bathroom, and walked me back to the couch or bed. If I needed a drink, he was there. He did not let me do anything. He even brought me my dinner, and my medication. He was very thoughtful and caring. My other kids are girls, and they too have been helpful. Not quite as much, but they are helping none the less. If you feel comfortable telling them, tell them. My kids understood. Good Luck
Unread 04-06-2006, 02:28 PM
I know I am the grown up but... (kids mentioned)

Thank you Popcornkelly & My4athome,
I actually told my kids yesterday. They took the news fine. I'm sure they will help out as much as they can. My big day is tomorrow 9am.
wish me luck!!

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