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Getting annoyed of people! Getting annoyed of people!

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Unread 05-13-2006, 12:06 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

I can appreciate your feelings of annoyance because you know that YOU have exhausted all of the options and you have really done your research;
but I hope you can understand that many women do not, and often follow, blindly,
without getting a second opinion or first trying alternative treatments.

There is one thing you said that I must take exception with and that is, "the doctors wouldn't do the operation if I didn't need it!" Unfortunately, this is not true. There have been many studies in recent years that suggest just the opposite, one of them, "The Appropriateness of Recommendations for Hysterectomy" done by The Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at UCLA School of Medicine found that 76% percent do NOT meet ACOG criteria. (Just quoting one, there are more.)

This means that doctors can, and DO, perform unnecessary hysterectomies- every day. This is exactly why it is so important for women to take an active role in their own health care by reading, researching and becoming fully informed of all options before making a final decision.

This is why second (or third or fourth) opinions are so very, very important before having ANY kind of surgery.

I know YOU did all this, but I just want to make sure that there are no other sisters who may read that comment and think they have to go along with something because "their doctor wouldn't suggest it if it weren't necessary."

I see that today is your scheduled surgery date and I hope that everything goes well for you and you have a speedy and full recovery.

Best wishes to all,
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Unread 05-13-2006, 12:42 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

I had mine 1 year ago today and life has never been better. I remember back then, people annoyed me too.

I realized that if ever in my life to be selfish was then and found out that selfish wasn't really a bad word after all and today I am a better person for it.

I think it's ok to Become a little selfish and focus on you. YOU are the most important person right now and shouldn't have to explain to uncaring people why you want your life back.

It's hard enough making the decision let alone explaining your decision to others. Stick to your guns and trust yourself only you and your Doctor know what's good for you.

I wish you the best today and hope you take care of you. -- Please let us know how you are doing.
Unread 05-13-2006, 05:17 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

[quote=Lucille in CA]I can appreciate your feelings of annoyance because you know that YOU have exhausted all of the options and you have really done your research;
but I hope you can understand that many women do not, and often follow, blindly,

I don't think that anyone goes blindly into a hysterectomy! You would have to be completely out of your mind. And I don't believe for one minute that any surgeon worth his salt would suggest major surgery without first exhausting all other options!
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Unread 05-13-2006, 11:53 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

Sorry wibble, but many women go without research or second opinions. I did. And I have personally talked to hundreds of others who did.

As for any surgeon "worth his salt" I would definately agree. The problem is with all the ones who are not worth their salt.
Unread 05-18-2006, 02:35 AM
29 and knowing the feeling!

Oh my goodness, I feel ya there. I am 29 years young and have had endometriosis for 6 years now. After a laparoscoopy three years ago, they also discovered cysts on one ovary and massive amounts of fibroids. That's almost as bad as, "you don't look like anything's wrong with you". If I had five cents for everytime I've heard both of those ignorant comments I'd be able to start a hysterectomy reality show. I could picture it now!!! Back to reality.

Almost all of the women in my family, aunts and cousins, have had endo. Two were unable to concieve because of the damage, but had the blessing of adoption. My mother had very heavy bleeding all through her life, but had the luck of not having to get surgery. My two sisters avoided the curse also. Always the skinny ones I guess. lol

Anyway, back to the subject in hand. Since the age of 20 I was going to the gyno for extreme pain and very heavy bleeding. The doctors said nothing was wrong, to change my bad habits. My thought: "he's a man, what the hell could he possibly know about it".

So I tried a female doctor. She helped me through having my first child, but couldn't tell me why I constantly had so much pain in my lower belly.

After another doctor, and another child, I had my first laparoscopy to see what was happening. They discovered the endo. With my family history and long consideration, I wanted to have a tubal ligation. I had been on the pill and got pregnant with my daughter and the after she was born I was put on depoprovera and had my son. The doctor whom I was seeing didn't feel comfortable doing the procedure and I wasn't comfortable with taking anymore ineffective birth control.

Nevertheless, I switched from doctor to doctor in my search for help. I should have been getting paid for all the people looking at my buisness They tried me on many different birth control remedies and depolupron and nothing seemed to work. I was losing my mind, getting grey hair and my emotions were all over the place.

About two years I found a great family care doctor who has since set me up with a great team to perform my surgery. Sunrise after the rain. After many years of tremendous pain, bleeding and crying, I will finally be able to get some relief and I hope that you have too.

For the next time someone asks you if your too young to be having a hysto, here are some of my favorites to use:

*how would you feel if you had a meat grinder working 24/7 in their belly ?
*do you want to want to help raise my kids?
*don't you prefer getting a good nights sleep?
*would you like to take my pain ya ol' hag?
*would you like to have painful sex the rest of your life?
*when would you like to see me get better?
*are you trying to be polite or do you like to see me suffer?
*and my personal what age would you like me have it done doctor?????

Hope the surgery was a success, good luck during recovery. Mine is in a few weeks, let me know if you have learned any new tips.

Take Care.
email address removed to protect privacy. Anyone wishing to email Amanda may click on her username and then go to her Profile. There is a place there to click to send email through the website.
Unread 05-18-2006, 02:58 AM
Getting annoyed of people!

Originally Posted by car513
For the next time someone asks you if your too young to be having a hysto, here are some of my favorites to use:

*how would you feel if you had a meat grinder working 24/7 in their belly ?
*do you want to want to help raise my kids?
*don't you prefer getting a good nights sleep?
*would you like to take my pain ya ol' hag?
*would you like to have painful sex the rest of your life?
*when would you like to see me get better?
*are you trying to be polite or do you like to see me suffer?
*and my personal what age would you like me have it done doctor?????
LOL! These are great; I'll have to write these down! Yes, believe it or not, I've even had several people say the same thing to me - I'm 45, for God's Sake! The other one you get a lot is "Isn't that a little drastic?" As if I just woke up one morning and said to myself: 'Gee, I'm bored - I think I'll have a hysterectomy!' But my all-time favorite so far - and this coming from an intelligent woman - was "No more periods! I don't know why we don't all just have them after we're done having kids!" Okay, THAT's a little drastic! I just have to keep telling myself that people wouldn't make these comments if they didn't care, so it's a little easier to forgive their ignorance when I keep it in that kind of perspective. God Bless 'em for caring!

Unread 05-18-2006, 03:42 AM
Getting annoyed of people!

I know exactly what you're talking about. When I was 29 I begged the dr for a hysterecomy. The dr said that due to the fact I was only 29 he would only be willing to do an ablation ...I had Polycistic Ovarian DX, fibroids, endo and was bleeding so fiercly I could hardly function. My last 5 days of bleeding before my ablation, I went through 4 bags of overnight pads and 2 boxes of super tampons. I am lucky to have a daughter, but at 5 yrs old, I was missing out on so much of her life not being able to get off the couch because of the pain and bleeding. It wasn't fair to her. At that I still had so many people trying to talk me out of it because I was so young and only had one child. If only others could experience the pain and suffering they too might understand. I had the ablation in 2004, and about 6 months ago the bleeding and pain started again. I saw a different dr this time, and had a TAH/RSO 3 weeks ago. I even got the "wow you are so young, why are you doing this" from the nurse in the hospital checking my vitals before surgery! You need to forget about what others say and do what is best for you. I am still healing and have had a few setbacks in the past weeks, but I know in my heart that this was the best thing I could do for myself. The key word is myself, not anyone else.
I hope all went well
Love & Prayers
Unread 05-18-2006, 04:07 AM
Getting annoyed of people!


I'm 32, my op is next week and it's all people keep saying to me, too. My reply is always - "Walk a mile with this womb, then come back to me." Course, that doesn't work with men....
Good luck and hang in there
Unread 05-18-2006, 02:59 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

I know every one is jumping in on this issue..what a hot button! If I had a nickel for every dr., boyfriend, mother in law, etc. that told me to "stop making such a big deal out of a few cramps", or to "take another motrin", or "your head can't hurt that badly" I wouldn't need insurance to pay for my hyster. I have been to 4 different doctors and finally found one who actually took me seriously. For three years, I didn't change my story with any of them, this one just listened. It only took one ultrasound to have him calling my house and scheduling the laproscopy(which then led to the position Im in now..June 20th, TAH and BSO). I can't even think what a different posistion I would be in if DR #1 had listened way back when. I am 31 and I get "oh you should wait" or "how does your husband feel?" Ill tell you he'll feel a whole lot better when he's getting "love" on a regular basis again and I am actually enjoying it!!(OMG I can't wait). Anyway, Im ranting. I feel for you and just have confidence that this is your body, your choice... and not only will you never have another period, but, you have all of us cool chickies to call friends!!

Take care! See you on the other side!
Unread 05-18-2006, 07:06 PM
Getting annoyed of people!

Just an observation from the other side of hysterectomy . . .

the flip side of your list of reasons FOR hysterectomy could very well be used as a list for the arguments AGAINST hysterectomy. They are practically identical:

Pain 24/7? Unfortunately, this happens to many women after hysterectomy.
Interfering with raising kids? You bet. Loss of energy and painful complications cost the family too.
Good nights sleep? Insomnia is at the top of the list of hysterectomy side effects.
Wish someone else could take the pain? Human nature. On this side too, sadly.
Painful sex? One of the biggest post hysterectomy complaints.
When would you like to see me get better? Still a question for many.
Polite or like to see me suffer? This one might be replaced by people telling you "it's all in your head." :marble:
What age would you like to see me have it done? This is often replaced by people asking you what were you thinking and inferring that you brought the post-op suffering on yourself by having the surgery.

I think that if you check these list, side by side and compare them with the post from sisters in some of the other forums, like the Road Less Traveled, Bladder Matters and Sexual Dysfunction After Hysterectomy you will find them to be remarkably similar.

I'm sorry to be a wet blanket on the fun, but it scares me when I see sisters who may be under the impression that this surgery is a sure fire cure for all that ails. I wish it were, but too many of us are shocked to find out the reality of the situation on the other side of hysterectomy and it's very important that any ladies in waiting know this isn't a sure bet.

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