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issues with sex after recovery issues with sex after recovery

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Unread 05-16-2006, 03:20 PM
issues with sex after recovery

I am being scheduled for a complete hysterectomy and while surfing found your website. I was reading all the articles about the women who had problems with sex after the surgery. One commented she wished she didn't have it. I am 48 and we are married 28 years with a good sex life. I don't want to ruin it. I am having the surgery due to fibroids that bleed all the time. Some endimetriosis (sp?) also. Sort of got scared reading the posts. I guess I am asking is it lots of women who have problems.
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Unread 05-16-2006, 03:33 PM
issues with sex after recovery

RedPoodle (love the name btw!)I have a black poodle.

Don't be frightened about some of the posts here. I think the majority of women have good results with their surgeries. I know 30 people in my own community who have had a hyst with no problems and have never even visited this sight. I am now 4 months post op and no problems at all. Sex is great, maybe even better than before. It is different for sure but not in a bad way. I found that orgasms are a bit shorter, but very intense. I am definitely more interested in sex now. My husband says nothing feels any different. I also had my cervix removed. For me, the decision to have this surgery, was for the best. I think you'll find that many of the visitors to this site need additional support for many reasons. Some, because there have been complications with their recovery etc. Many women don't write in their positive stories. Good luck to you. All the Best!

Unread 05-16-2006, 03:38 PM
issues with sex after recovery

If you have any other options, please consider it. I was
51 and felt like hormone replacement would take care
of any hormone needs, not so. I have had mucho
problems with vaginal pain, and had never used lubrication in my life, didn't even know what it was,
of course now, I have absolutely none. I am extremely
dry, and have a very painful vagina. Women get moisture
from the Uterus, plus your ovaries produce your hormones
that help with all of that, and even when you leave the
ovaries, a lot of time they are not affective. I have also
had a lot more problems that I won't go into, but if I
had it to do over again I would absolutely not do it. It is
to be taken seriously, which I didn't. I had a prolapsed
Uterus and had back pain, and constipation and thought I would feel better, it has been a diaster. I
believed I would do well with it because I was healthy
and excercised and was a good weight, ate good food.
My sex life is horrible, there is no spontinatity, because I am so dry all the time, and have to prepare
for all of this, and then I am in pain for days afterwards. I also have no sex drive. If you really need it, you have to do what
you have to do, and there are a lot of women who do
well, but there are many of us who have been in *****.
The Dr.s don't tell you all the side affects, so do your
research, and look up surgical menopause something
nobody ever told me about. Good luck, and think
positive if you decide, there is a chance you will do fine. But I would at least look into other options.
Sorry to be so negative, but you ask, I felt obligated
to tell this side of the story, because nobody told me.
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Unread 05-16-2006, 03:43 PM
issues with sex after recovery

Welcome Redpoodle! I am nearly 10 months post-op and have no problems at all with our sex life. I had the same concerns as you. I am 46 and will be married 26 years this month. The only thing that is different is that we need to use a lubricant because of vaginal dryness but other than that everything is the same if not better. And we never have to worry about periods anymore.
Unread 05-16-2006, 04:31 PM
issues with sex after recovery

Hi and to Hyster Sisters!

We have many women on our site. Some are here looking for info prior to a hyst and while recovering from a hyst. Some stay around even after they recover so they can offer support to the new ladies coming in. And others are here because they are having long terms issues either beause of or in conjuction with their hyst. Therefore, you often do see more negative stories here from the ladies who are post op by several months or years. If a lady has her hyst, recovers, and does well, she often goes back to her life and has no need to post questions here.

For example, I found information here on the site prior to my hyst as I needed information about endometriosis. I had never heard of it until my diagnoses. I came back to the site when I began to have issues again, almost 5 yrs after my hyst.

Do I regret my hyst? No. It was the right thing for me. Did it cure me? No. Unfortunately, there really is no cure for endo and that is pretty much my problem. I did try alternatives before I had my hyst as a hyst is a major irreversible surgery that can be life changing, but in the end, I had to have a hyst.

I can tell you that having a hyst did not ruin my sex life for DH or I at all. And I do not have issues with vaginal dryness. Many of these things can be affected by whether or not you keep your ovaries, I did, and if you can find the right hormone balance if you do not keep your ovaries.

I hope you can read through the site and find information that will help you make the right decision for you.

As you have fibroids and endo, here are some links to those sections of our resource database:

Best wishes to you!

Unread 05-16-2006, 06:14 PM
things are great here!

I had been suffering with endo, adenomyosis, ureter complications and fibroids for years and trying to avoid a hysterectomy. I would suggest anyone considering it have tried all her other options first. I'd tried Lupron, two birth control pills and every pain killer possible. I was having hot flashes and insomnia and vaginal dryness before surgery but yet kept on ovulating at 47 and wasn't sure I could last until menopause. I was on narcotic painkillers every day and had a hard time functioning at work and in my music groups. Quality of life issues made me decide but I booked a date far ahead with my doctor, in case I got better in the meantime. Each week and each month got worse! I was in so much pain that sex hurt (even with lubricant) and it hurt for two days after as well.

I had wanted a SAH but ended up with a TAH but my doc was careful to maintain vaginal length. DH can't tell any difference except that I am enjoying myself for the first time in years. I no longer need to plan around periods or what activity I might need to do after that I can't do because of the extra pain. We are like newlyweds - especially when I was just back to work part-time and he would come home during the day on my days off for a visit! I had less endo than expected so am able to take a dose of HRT that actually improves the symptoms I was having before. So things are much better. But if I had severe endo and couldn't take HRT, I think it would be a different matter.

Good luck to all the sisters deciding and waiting. Hysterectomy is a major surgery with a considerable healing time but it gave me my life back!
Unread 05-16-2006, 06:16 PM
issues with sex after recovery

I had my uterus and cervix removed, but retained both ovaries.

Our sex life has improved dramatically since surgery. I have the big "O" more often with very little effort compared to the work out we used to get trying to accomplish it. While the old way was fun, the majority of the time, I never reached it and dried out before DH reached his finish line. Yes, my big "O's" are different now, but I like them far better now and have not had use for lubricant!

Each individual is different. I won't sugar coat it and say you won't have any of these problems some mention, but this may not be the case. I strongly believe that a big chunk of your recovery has to do with your attitude prior to the fact. I had a positive one and recovered very quickly and with no side affects. My life (overall) has improved so much for the better! Yes, there was pain. Yes, I had a set back or two, but if given the chance, the ONLY thing I would change would be the timeframe I actually had the surgery done... such as setting an earlier date!!

I never fully comprehended just how much my bleeding issues affected my life until after it was gone. I'm back in school and will have my first Associates before I'm 40-yrs old (arriving this November) with a 3.75 GPA! I started a "body conditioning" class to work on whipping myself back in to shape. I now walk 3-miles/day. Have finished most of those household projects I wanted to do. And this August, DH and I are taking our second honeymoon (w/o kids!) on an Alaskan cruise. Will be nice not to have Aunt Flo tag along on this trip like she normally has in the past....
Unread 05-16-2006, 06:27 PM
issues with sex after recovery

Hi Redpoodle- I had a TAH due to fibroids, too. I was severely anemic from the heavy bleeding, and nothing was helping to raise my iron levels. I was like you- scared to death that things would be different when my husband and I made love. ( We've always had a great sex life) I was so relieved when we tried it out and everything still worked. I have so much more energy now, and I really feel good! I know some women haven't had favorable outcomes, but for me, the surgery changed my life for the better. Good luck !
Unread 05-16-2006, 06:29 PM
issues with sex after recovery

Hi Redpoodle.

I have a 12 year old Apricot poodle...he's my first baby and has a very special place in my heart! I now have to DDs and 2 other dogs.

In answer to your questions...I am 41 and my husband is 7 years younger. Our sex life has always been awesome, until about a year before my surgery...I started having a problem with lubrication and started having pain with intercourse. My hormones were out of balance before my surgery. After my surgery, I did lose my libido for a while, but it has come back (full force!) with my newer hormone therapy. It does take me a little longer to achieve an orgasm, but they are just as intense and enjoyable as before the surgery. I have an appointment to get a prescription for a vaginal form of estrogen to help repair the tissues and give some lubrication as this is still an issue for me.

Not every woman has issues with their libido after their hysterectomy. Unfortunately, the women who have no problems rarely post this information. My cousin said her libido is off the charts and she has almost too much moisture. Each woman's body is different. Please dont let the fear of losing this important part of your life, prevent you from having any medical treatment that you and your doctor decide is medically necessary.
Unread 05-16-2006, 07:45 PM
issues with sex after recovery

I've used lubrication for years but it was to make things fit better, so that is not something new for me. I was having lots of pain during sex because my hubby was beating up my cervix, now that it is gone things feel great. My libido is better than ever my hubby says thank God for my surgery. Love my astroglide and always will it works for me.

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