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Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

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Unread 06-01-2006, 02:32 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

Oh, HUGS, HUGS, HUGS to emichal, Painter Lee and ronilei!!!!!!!

I still haven't mastered how to handle MIL. I've always been nice, cooperative and a bit submissive because I want so much for us to get along. Behind my dh's back she's a witch and he doesn't want to see it, so I'm on my own. I am so sorry emichal and Painter Lee that you're having a heck of a time with those "ladies," too!

ronilei - I can't say how sorry I am that you had to go through that. You're so right - you're life is worth it, but people's comments are often horrid. Good advice about "YOU are what is important not what small minded people think!" We're strong women, right!!! We can get through this despite what other folks do. Whooohoooo!!!
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Unread 06-01-2006, 04:45 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

Unread 06-01-2006, 05:16 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

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Unread 06-05-2006, 11:19 AM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

I really agree with Crazyfordisney.I have always been a busy independent lady.It took 3 years to get my surgery so i didn't tell my sons until I had a date.Everyone was very surprised except DH &DD.I had a vaginal so I look normal & feel very well.I have been very compliant & done no heavy lifting, vacuuming.I had to drive 2 other girls on a business trip Fri. & we returned Sun. We went shopping Sat. & I spent 1 1/2 hr sitting visiting with my cousin during this time so I was NOT on a "Mall Haul".I started to bleed heavily & pass stitches.This went on all evening.I left the lovely dinner & entertainment & went to the hotel & fretted & wondered if I should go to hospital etc.Thank heavens for DD who was at home.I called her & talked to her & felt better.The next day the party girls who rocked on until 2:00 a.m.never even asked me how I was & one is my sister!The next day we did the show & I drove them home again. I should say in their defence my sister is only 10 days post-op from laproscopic gall bladder surgery & the other went through the mill last year with breast cancer so I guess my health is small potatoes to them.When i read some of the stories like Look2Heaven's & her mean sister-in-law I feel like a whiner.To the gal with the mean mother-in-law, just kill the old bat with kindness, thank her & don't give her the satisfaction of seeing how she upsets you. Patsy B
Unread 06-05-2006, 11:30 AM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

I know how you are feeling. My mother had a hysterectomy in 1967 and said it was no big deal. My sister made no comment at all and I haven't heard from her since regarding my surgery. My friend at work simply said "why don't you ask them to suction out some of the fat at the same time". My husband has been the only one who has been truly suportive. I am very greatful to have found this web site. Thanks to all that post here.
Unread 06-05-2006, 12:49 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

Wow....some interesting stories! I must be rare...I have had no negative comments by anyone. Only support. I used to be the one that would say " oh you are lucky, I wish I could have that done" I wasn't trying to offend anyone, I was sick of my situation and wanted the surgery. My original GYN said no, he didn't want to listen to my symptoms and problems. I was tired of being dissed, so I found a new GYN. She was and is AWESOME. On the first visit she recommened a hyst....go figure. Well I am SO glad I had it done. These people that downplay it just can't relate. Everyone's experience with it is different. Amen to all you sisters out there and best wishes to everyone.
Unread 06-05-2006, 01:00 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

Oh yes. In the HOSPITAL, the lady who first took me to my "waiting" room, when I was crying she said "oh those are very common". SHUT IT!!!! Just today, my friend (only one who has called to check on me) went on & on about how lucky I am to never have a period again & she wants a hyst but they won't give her one. I'm in so much pain right now I would kill to have a period instead of this.
Unread 06-05-2006, 01:05 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

movingforward, OH MY Gaaaaa. Tell that mil don't bother, you'll manage without her. It sounds like she would be more work for you anyway. Oh I am just fuming after reading your post. The recliner is the ONLY place I am the slightest bit comfortable, still painful, but it's better than couch or bed. I'm alone & it's difficult to put the foot up & down, but I do it very gingerly. The tough part is gathering the 3 pillows I need to place after I get the foot up. I'm sure it's a funny sight. But you will have DH there to help you with that.
Unread 06-05-2006, 01:26 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family


Okay, some of you may know that at my house we had some very unexpected guests show up (about 9 of them...mostly ages 6-14 and their very lacadaisical parents). Anyway, conversation went something like this...

"do you still have a crib or some baby toys that Luke can use?" (luke being the 15 month old)

"No, Im sorry we got rid of that stuff just recently. We won't be having any more children."

"Oh, you say that now, but you never know... I thought so a few months ago and look at me." (as she pats her pregnant belly)

...I then explain briefly about upcoming surgery (I am not very close to this woman).

Her response?....get ready..... wait for it.....

"Oh, wow. I could never do something like that. It would be like taking out the woman in me."

At this point, , my Dh stepped in between me and fertile mertyl because he knew I was about to kill her. '

Couldn't believe it. I was so stunned I didn't even have words. Luckily, she is like a second cousin of DH's on some weird estranged side of the family so this is not someone I have to deal with, or be polite to often.

If ignorance was painful, this would be a much better world.
Unread 06-05-2006, 02:03 PM
Insensitive Reactions from Friends & Family

Het itstime...I don't put the foot down on my recliner. I leave it in the reclining position and get off of it on the side. In the beginning my DH helped me in and out of it. Now I swing my legs to the side and ease out of it off the side. Putting the foot up and down would have hurt too much. Take care.

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