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Why can't family and friends... Why can't family and friends...

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Unread 08-04-2006, 02:26 PM
Why can't family and friends...

understand when you explain that you do not want visitors for awhile . I am someone who doesn't like visitors when I'm down with a medical procedure because I am not feeling myself and I want to rest. The family members closest to me get it already, but there are new friends and family that keep telling me their coming by anyway. My DH has told these folks they will not get past him (bless his heart). I know they care, but sometimes........
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Unread 08-04-2006, 04:28 PM
Why can't family and friends...

I will finish your sentence for you.

Sometimes....people just don't get it! They do not get that you have just had major surgery and need to rest. Bless your husband for running interference.

Best to you; let us know how your surgery goes.
Unread 08-04-2006, 05:01 PM
Why can't family and friends...

You can have someone tell the nurse's station, THE MINUTE THEY SEND YOU TO YOUR ROOM post-op, that you want NO visitors whatsoever except dh. Also, when you're checking in, be sure to tell the admissions people that you do not want visitors. PERIOD. They are responsible for starting the chain reaction to keep people out. This should be noted in the computer when people call the hospital for your room number, it should be marked clearly at the nurse's station, and it should be in your chart. This is your right, it just takes a little advance planning.

I can give you some motivation for doing this. My MIL who lives across the driveway hates me (not kidding or exaggerating) for marrying her son. She wanted her little bachelor all to herself and when he married me at 36 she was enraged. Anyway, I told dh but not the nurses that I didn't want visitors. He forgot and I couldn't tell the nurses as I was unable to communicate for 2 1/2 days due to an unforseen drug allergy. His mother showed up, the nurse was trying to keep her out of my room til she got permission from me, but my MIL was pushing against the nurse's back to get in the room. I had no choice and I was too sick to protest. That woman sat there for an hour and a half as I dozed and threw insults at me about how I was a bad wife for needing dh to help with housework while I was recovering.

I realize you only want to keep out well-wishers, and I PRAY you don't have someone like this in your life, but you really do need your resting time and because I didn't have it on record with the nurse's station, this lady was able to push through and do this to me while I was still very ill from the drug reaction. If that isn't motivation...
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Unread 08-04-2006, 05:14 PM
Why can't family and friends...

I'm motivated now!!
Unread 08-04-2006, 05:45 PM
Why can't family and friends...

When my unwelcome visiters came.. I waited 5 minutes and then told them, "I don't mean to be rude but it's time for you to leave".. I told them ahead of time, I didn't want to see anyone but they think we are just saying that. NOT!!! hopefully, you won't have that problem.. good luck to you.
Unread 08-04-2006, 06:03 PM
Why can't family and friends...

You can always do what I am doing. I am only telling a very few close friends (who will be helping tend my farm) my surgery date. After I am home and feel up to visitors, then I will let my family and other friends know.

Unread 08-04-2006, 07:15 PM
Why can't family and friends...

One hint I loved and lived by was to wear PJ's 24/7, and don't get up off the couch or out from under the covers if they do show up (and somehow get past DH-what a sweetie he is!). For as long as you are not up to visitors, anyway.
And, if all else fails, just "doze" off. I did this, quite unintentionally to my poor Mom who had travelled 2 1/2 hours the day of the surgery to be with me and DH. I had told her not to bother going all that way as I knew from previous surgeries I'd be sleepy, but she's my Mom and came anyway. I felt bad for her. She was gone when I woke up.
I wish you well on your surgery and recovery,
Unread 08-04-2006, 07:57 PM
Why can't family and friends...

it's because they care about you so much that they can't leave you alone !!!! My inlaws are all wanting to come to my surgery since my parents won't be able to. They are concerned that I may not be able to do anything without him. My mother inlaw is from the old school where husbands can't do anything for themselves. She is even taking my 16yr and 17yr old kids to a hotel the night before my surgery so that I can get a good night sleep. (Like that will happen) Just have to take it all in stride. Good Luck

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