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HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day! HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

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  #1  
Unread 10-04-2006, 04:01 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Hello there,
Don't get me wrong - I so appreciate the assistance my MIL has given me the past 2 weeks I have been home from hospital, but I am doing much better now and I am longing for the quiet of my house. DH & I don't have any children of our own - his DD (my step-DD) spends time with us, but she is a teenager & is happy to listen to music quietly - I feel like I must sound so ungrateful?!

Let me give you example:
In fact, the other day when I was trying to sleep in the recliner chair in the t.v. room, she came over & pulled one of the earphones out of my ear to see if I was asleep?! so she could ask me a question about my oven?! Calgon, take me away!

She is always needing to be busy doing something & once she is up, she is needing to be chatting. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I enjoy a good chat, but I also am more than happy to just be quiet. I find always having to do stuff is tiring. I accepted her offer to come down & help, but we didn't discuss time frames - she has it in her mind that she is staying for the whole 6 weeks....

And the funniest part of all this is, that she continues to cook smaller quantities, thinking that her son (my dh) will fill up on the same amount of food as she eats. Salad for lunch one more day...uuggh. I long for a Harvey's charbroiled burger with the lot; particularly the pickles. (Don't have them restaurants here in Australia though, but they still do make good burgers, though). And last night, my step-DD & I and dh had to fill up on bread because the amount of our dinner did not fill us up....

I have told her so many times of how appreciative I am of her assistance, but she is starting to treat me a little too much like an invalid - I can do some stuff!!!!

Any suggestions gals? Thanks.
PS - She has travelled down on the train from where she lives - about 8 hour train ride away. Can't continue like we are going for another 3 weeks. I am feeling so much better for not being at my stress-filled work, but by the end of the 6 week period if she is still here, I am afraid of the additional stress I'll have here in the house. Her son (my dh) is usually very good with his mom, but she can get on his nerves very easily - forgetful, always needing to have a chat and then he gets silly, & funny & almost stupid & that grates on my nerves! He so knows that I love his mom, but we are needing a break. What's a girl to do?
PWG
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  #2  
Unread 10-04-2006, 04:36 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

that IS a tough situation! Maybe you could go to your room with the door closed to sleep (escape)?
Once you start feeling better, you can help with the food and cooking.
I don't think I could handle my MIL for 6 weeks!
  #3  
Unread 10-04-2006, 06:12 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Be thankful you have such a nice relationship with your mil! That being said, I think you are on the right track with telling her how much you appreciate her help. You just need to follow it up with a "however". As in "however, we don't seem to be on the same page when it comes to the amount of food we eat. We are used to eating a bit more, so if you wouldn't mind making a bit more of your wonderful, (accent on the wonderful), meals we would really appreciate it. Don't worry leftovers will not go to waste in this house!" My mother eats like a bird, she was surprised at the amount of food we all ate, too! Keeping your tone light and cheery goes a long way when trying to get your point across. I hope this helps. I know I couldn't take my mil for 6 weeks!
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  #4  
Unread 10-04-2006, 06:32 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Hi pwg,

It sounds like you have a sweet MIL considering. I really do believe her heart is in the right place, but I do understand your situation. If you feel you're up to being alone, then tell her you are and that she can go back home and that you appreciated all her help. Maybe she's waiting for you to say you don't need the help anymore???

Good luck to you. I have been alone since the day I came home..have had no help other than hubby..he normally travels, but he took the remainder of last week off...well I mean he was in the office during the day and at home here at night instead of traveling all week away. I managed ok. This week he just got plain lucky and they kept him in at the office to do things.

Hugs to you and to dear MIL for all she's done for you. My Mother died 15 yrs ago, and my MIL is 80 and too sick to help..as is my 80 yrs old dad.

Have a great evening/day!
  #5  
Unread 10-04-2006, 08:34 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

she's your husband's mother, so he can help out w/the discussion on how much you appreciate her help,but you are better now and you can take care of the home now. i mean,the first 2-3 weeks is when you need help the most. sounds like a wonderful mil.
  #6  
Unread 10-04-2006, 08:49 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Your MIL is a doll... but 6 weeks? That's a long time for someone who isn't seriously ill! You didn't mention how the ticket was purchased. Can you thank her immensely and ask her to save the other 3 weeks for when you feel better and the 2 of you can get out do something?

Best wishes ~
  #7  
Unread 10-05-2006, 03:36 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Thanks everyone for your comments.

MIL's adamant that she isn't leaving yet - dh brought up discussion last night at dinner...uuugghhh. We had agreed I would discuss with her (not him) because that way, if she was offended, she could be at me, DIL and not her son. She has a rellie who said they couldn't lift anything for 6 weeks after their TAH - now, come on, really - they must have milked it for all it was worth!!!! MIL is concerned about my getting adhesions. Trust me - I am definitely not wanting to go back into hospital because of something stupid I did; e.g. lifting something too heavy - but if it carries on this way, I may be checking myself back in - for some peace & quiet or may need to be admitted to psych ward
So, I have moved my post-op appt up to next week (the nurse was so understanding) in the hopes that the report from doc's appt will relieve her that I am okay for her to go home.
God bless my step-DD, she cooked dinner last night & heaps of it & we were full!!!!!
Talk to you all later.
PS - a friend took me out for a coffee last night & another friend is taking me out to lunch....aaaahhhhhh........it felt so good to be out of the house last night - didn't overdo it...no, but it felt so good.
PWG
  #8  
Unread 10-05-2006, 03:44 PM
HELP - The Peace & Quiet is Gone for Another Day!

Glad to hear you are at least having discussions with her. And I am glad you got to eat enough last night. LOL.
ahhh a nice outing with a good friend is so healing to the soul. Hope all goes well tonight.
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