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the meaning of vacillation... the meaning of vacillation...

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Unread 11-27-2006, 09:55 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

i'm scheduled for the 12th, started out planning a myomectomy and now focusing on a PAH (although also thinking about running screaming into the street what with all the emotional agonizing). my sister i love dearly advised me to forget about all pain meds, just let my body handle it and make sure i tell the doctor no meds before or after surgery (she may clearly be out of her mind and although my grasp is tenuous lately i'm still lucid enough to know i want whatever the castle has to offer for pain management!). now on top of the surgery i have to figure out how to break the news to her that she most definitely has demonstrated she is unfit to have power of attorney for my health care! my girlfriend who is a nurse is adamant about having my ovaries removed, not what i was planning but she says the risk of ovarian cancer is not worth any benefit of keeping them. so now i'm on the fence about that issue, too (my butt is getting pretty sore with all this fence-sitting). my beloved significant other is sweet and supportive but i don't really feel right about sharing the intimate details, he's wonderful but tends to be the strong silent type. bad enough i have to contemplate having the post-surgery gas i've read so much about in the posts here in his presence (or rather the avoidance thereof and the associated risks of internal combustion). so i feel like i'm going a little crazy and alone in my craziness, and the only way to stop the madness is to absorb myself in projects, but the closer i get to surgery the more i'm feeling like hyperventilating! one minute i'm looking forward to no more monthly drama, the next minute i'm not sure i can give up holding on to the ability to have another child. i am almost 42, have a 9 yr old DD by prior relationship. my beloved is 44 and has no children, admitted a couple months ago he would really like to have a baby but this week said otherwise, i think just to be supportive. i know he wouldn't sacrifice our relationship if i can't give him a baby but i can't handle the thought of knowing i can't. do i go through with surgery and begin to grieve whatever mostly imaginary fertility i might have left? how do i look at my partner and not feel i've let him down? i would love to hear from anyone who was in my shoes and after surgery had no regrets. i'm pretty sure i'm going through with it, just need to hear from wiser, calmer minds.
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Unread 11-27-2006, 11:25 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

Hi wkh211 and

We're happy you joined the Hystersisters community! There is a ton of solid information on the site, and the members have unliminted cyber-hugs to dispense to you at every stage of your journey to good health!

It would "help us to help you" if you would edit your profile to include your surgery type and whether or not you are keeping your ovaries. I know that you mention this in your post, but so you don't need to state it each time you can have it in your profile for easy reference for us.

If you have doubts about having a hysterectomy and therefore relinquishing all possibilities of giving birth, perhaps it would be best not to do it at this time...unless you are in a life-threatening situation, of course. Hospitals and doctors aren't "going anyplace anytime soon," so if you change your mind in the future the opportunity to have a hyst will be available to you.

I'm a believer in following my instincts, and if I deeply sensed that having surgery was not in my best interest, and it wasn't an emergency situation, I would likely wait until the time might come where I felt at peace in proceeding forward with it.

I hope that, whatever you decide to do, you are happy with what transpires in your life.

Many s and Best Wishes,
Unread 11-28-2006, 05:16 AM
the meaning of vacillation...

I had to make choices beforehand as well. Everyone has an opinion around you which are well meaning because they care about you.

I talked it over with very few people - and for me the bottom line was I trusted my doc to do what she thought was best. We talked about removong ovaries but she said if I were 3 years younger to keep them, 3 years olderr to remove them due to that cancer possibility thing. We deceided to let the doctor make the call once she was in and saw if they were fine or there was any problem. I figured there is no reason to remove healthy body parts. If something happens later then I will deal with it then, but not on a maybe down the road. And, if I can still make my own hormones all the better than buying them.

I left it up to her mostly because well, it was NOT the first time she had done surgery and I felt if I couldn't trust her judgement then I was in the wrong hands. She left them since they looked healthy.

Also in regard to the pain killers - I took everything they offered - the additional stress of pain is not needed at all and I was not out to be any kind of martyr in that regard. There is a lot more on the inside that is not seen. I'm not going to refuse meds so I can suffer - and pain also brings on it's own body responses.

As far as the power of attorney thing, I signed documents in my doctors office giving her authority to do what she deemed necessary so there would be no pressures on my family to make any decisions and also so there would be no hold ups during surgery while "approval" was sought.

Remember this is ALL about YOU and what you want
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Unread 11-28-2006, 01:31 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

thank you for the voice of reason. another question prompted by another insensitive remark from my dear relative who mind you never had a c-section but said the surgery would be no different than a c-section and if those women can come home and take care of children then i should be fine too. can anyone who has been through both procedures speak to the differences or similarities in recovery? i feel like i am already on the defensive as far as having to justify my recovery, whatever it may be!
Unread 11-28-2006, 01:52 PM
Abdominal Surgery Recovery

I had a c-section (in 1997) and abdominal surgery (laparotomy in June 2006) to remove a 7 cm cyst, left ovary, and tube. The biggest difference for me was the anesthesia. I had an epidural for the c-section so I was awake for the whole thing, and general anesthesia for the laparotomy. So, with the c-section, I was a bit clearer minded and able to care for myself and my baby immediately after. With the laparotomy, I was fuzzy headed for days.

I did find it more painful to stand for the first time at the c-sec vs. the lap. With the c-sec I really felt like my insides were ripping apart when I stood up. I'm not sure why the lap was easier. I think was either because I rolled to the side and eased myself up more after the lap, or because the anesthesia and pain meds were still in my system. I only had one vicodin after the c-sec vs. a lot of dilaudid and percocet after the lap.

With the c-sec, I was feeling like myself within 2 weeks. After the lap, however, it was a full 8 weeks until I was 100% better. With my upcoming hyst, I am anticipating 10-12 weeks before I am better.

Hope this helps!
Unread 11-28-2006, 02:01 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

I had a c-section in 1996, abdominal hyst in sept of this year (same incision site). I can tell you that there is no comparison in the recovery period. The c-section was so much easier. I am now 10 weeks out and still do not feel right. This surgery has been so much more difficult both physically and mentally to recover from. I too had people say that it can't be much worse than a c-section. After having both, I can tell you from experience that the hyst was much harder.
Unread 11-29-2006, 08:32 AM
the meaning of vacillation...

Maybe you should have another talk with your dr, if you are unsure about this surgery. like Carmen said, the hospitals and dr's aren't going anywhere!. As for your well meaning relative, having a hyst and a c-section is like potatoes and oranges!! In a hyst, be it a vaginal, abdominal, total or partial, organs that have been in you all you life are removed. You should have your weel meaning relative come to this website and read post and just as important , the articles her so she can be more educated about what to expect. Pain meds of some sort will be needed, as no surgery can be done without some sort of anesthia. There are some excellent pre-op, post-op and hysterectomy alternative options articles that maybe you, your relative and of course your dso should read. I would want my dso to be educated about what I was going to go thru so he would know what to expect to help me in my recovery. Good luck to you in making your decision..
Unread 11-29-2006, 01:04 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

Originally Posted by wkh211
my sister i love dearly advised me to forget about all pain meds, just let my body handle it and make sure i tell the doctor no meds before or after surgery
Dear wkh211:
They don't pass out trophies for recovering without pain meds Pain meds can help you rest, which is important for your body to heal.

Originally Posted by wkh211
my girlfriend who is a nurse is adamant about having my ovaries removed, not what i was planning but she says the risk of ovarian cancer is not worth any benefit of keeping them.
If you have no family history of ovarian cancer, and your ovaries are healthy, you may want to consider keeping them. They can provide (free!) hormones that are good for your heart, bones, eyesight, etc. etc. for many more years (even after menopause).

Ultimately, it's YOU (not your sister or your girlfriend ) who will live with your post-op results, good OR bad. Get smart about your symptoms and your options, and make the best choice for YOU. I am sending huge cyberhugs
Unread 11-29-2006, 01:42 PM
the meaning of vacillation...

thanks. i had my pre-op today with a different dr. she was wonderful too, i've decided to have the myomectomy and to stop talking about this with the people i thought i could count on. i need relief from the fibroid mess (mulitple inside and out, big and small, excessive bleeding and pain, etc.) i'm in but i'm not ready to give up whatever fertility chances i might have left. i just can't. then again when my dr. goes in who knows what she'll end up doing, i might have to accept a different outcome, so be it. i'm kind of surprised that the people closest to me are the ones who have had the most insensitive things to say, have repeatedly left me in tears, and the best advice and support i've gotten so far has been from complete strangers here on this board. i am grateful for that so i'm just going to keep my mouth shut, focus on my responsibilities, visualize good health and leave it up to God and my doctor. for every trial i've gone through, usually alone, i end up stronger and wiser, no regrets. it all comes down to perspective and resolve; i am responsible for my happiness regardless of what others say or do (or don't). thank you thank you all for your kindness, i wish you all excellent health and happiness. this site is truly a God-send.
Unread 11-30-2006, 08:27 AM
the meaning of vacillation...

wkh211, I'm in agreement with you that this site is a Godsend! She looks out for us in all different ways! I'm also glad that you realize that the outcome of your surgery does have the possibility of being different than what you hope, that way you will not have a total unexpected shock. I will pray for you that it will go as expected. I feel that as soon as we register at this website, we cease to become strangers to one another, but become friends and sisters. Please keep us posted, and once again I would advise sitting down with your dso and your sister at this website, and I'll bet after reading posts and articles, they will have a better understanding of what you will be going through.

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