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Unread 06-04-2001, 03:56 AM

Girls, I know I have to finish my treatments but I don't think I can do it I am so uncomfortable, it burns when I urinate the outside of my vagina is sooo swollen and it pains to sit. I don't like to keep complaining but it is just the pits. It even hurts to have sex which my Dr. told me to do to keep my vagina open This is just the most embarrassing thing to talk about. How long does it last? Thanks so much for having shoulders for me to cry on
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Unread 06-04-2001, 07:52 AM

Robyn, first of all let me say I can totally relate to what you are saying. I also just this past week told my husband I had decided not take the internal treatments. I just couldn't take anymore. But you know that was on one of my worse days as far as pain from the fissure. The next day it was still painful but not as bad and then I had decided that I could get through the internal treatments. You will get through this, it will not be easy, but you will take it one day at a time. The many ladies on this list that have gone through this before us and came out on the other side are indeed wonderful strong women. But no stronger than you or I.

Music begins to play...........(We can hear Helen Reddy's voice)...

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
but look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

Music fades.....

Being woman of faith makes us that much stronger. You go Robyn!! I'm right there with you!!
Unread 06-04-2001, 07:56 AM

You can! You can do it!


I'm so sorry you are uncomfortable! You are almost there--just hang in there a little bit longer. Keep drinking water to keep things diluted. Sorry the sex is uncomfortable. I can't even imagine it's fun even to think about it if you're so sore you can't sit. I'm praying for you extra hard.

How many more to go? We'll help you keep the countdown.
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Unread 06-04-2001, 09:21 AM
Hang in there, Robyn & ZoeEllen

Robyn & Zoe, you've got to hang in there. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train. Please be strong and have faith that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. We are all pushing for you 100%.
Unread 06-04-2001, 10:01 AM
We are here for you both so don't quit!!!

If you were to give up now and quit, then you would find yourself right back where you were...and then you would have to start all over again!! You have come way too far to give up now!! You have a life to live that is filled with many people who love you and you owe it to yourself and those around you to fight this thing so that you can be totally healthy!!
I can only imagine how upsetting this can be....cry, scream, whine and talk it out!! Let those emotions out and know that we really do care and want to be here for you!! Please know that I will be doing some extra strong praying for you and I hope that you feel them coming your way!! Be strong and know that you are loved!!

Here is an idea...if the sex is not enjoyable due to the pain, maybe you should speak to the doctor so that your dh doesn't feel upset that he is hurting you and you don't have to feel negatively towards sex. I have heard some of the other ladies using dilaters that they got from their doctors.
Unread 06-04-2001, 11:49 AM can do it!!! You are stronger than you know.....

Big ole Hugs ((((Robyn))))

Everyone has already said it can do this!! Yes, its the pits, and yes its not going to be a walk in the park, but its the final leg of all your trouble. You can't give this cancer the have the strength, and you will get through this.

God knows I know what its like to decide to say..."thats it, I have had enough".....and I did say that after my 3rd round of chemo...until my oncologist reminded me that I had Stage II cancer, and every stage of every type of cancer has a set "protocol" of treatment, and mine called for 4 rounds.

Yours calls for all of this that you have been through, and you have to get this final one overwith sweetie, you just have to do it.

I wish there was someway they could allow someone in the room with you, as I am sure that would make it much easier and pass the time more quickly I bet.

Please try and hang in there hon. I wish we could all take an hour of it for you, but unfortunately we can't, but you know where our thoughts will be on the 22nd...which will actually be the 21st for us I guess.

I have a song too that I have loved since the first time I heard it...although unlike Zoe....I don't know all the words...but its a new one playing on the radio now and its Destinys Child...Survivor....and Robyn...we are all Survivors!!!!!

Sending positive energy, love, hugs and lots of prayers!!
M. xoxoxo
Unread 06-04-2001, 01:32 PM

I too thought I was not going to make it. I had 26 external treatments. My symptoms were similar to yours. I couldn't walk , sit or stand. The doctor gave me urised for the painful urination, it really helped. It became tolerable. I cannot believe you had sex. I had sex during my first week or two of treatment, but not after. I am happy to say that yesterday (sunday), I felt really good, almost human. I did not have to crinch when I peed........and I had sex !!! Two weeks after I finished my external. There is a light!!! However now I go in for the internal tomorrow. At least I had two good days before the internal, I am grateful for that. As I am writing I am sipping a horrible liquid to get my bowels ready for the big event. Oh Joy!!! The doctor has not given me my dilator yet...he said I don't need to start using until about a month after my treatment. I hate all these conflicting stories. I tell you though, It was real tight having sex, my biggest fear is not being able to enjoy sex again. Fortunately I have a great partner....
I can't believe the things we talk about eithier but I am glad to be able to, it lessens the anxiety. I called my nurse several times to tell her I wasn't going in...........but I am....and it will be OK...I need to take it one minute at a time. Robyn, you too will be OK, and you will make it, as will Zoe and BreezyB. are just so talented!!!!
Unread 06-04-2001, 03:09 PM

Hang in there Robyn, I know you will make it. Feel proud of what you have accomplished so far -- I think that anyone that goes through these treatments should feel proud of themselves. It takes a lot of courage to do this. I know that it is not in your nature to give up. I hope the following will help you. I remember this hanging up in the chemotherapy clinic, and I just ran across it in a magazine the other day ---

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the Spirit.
It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.

Remember that the Lord is always with you and is by your side through this. I know that He helped me get through chemo, and I will pray that He will help you get through your treatments.


Unread 06-04-2001, 06:25 PM

Robyn, All these ladies have said it all. Hang in there. You have to! There is so much out there in your future and you don't want to miss it. You are almost done. Ask your radiation oncologist for the dilator. You can't have sex just to keep your vagina open when you are in pain. You will look at it as another hated part of your treatment, something else that the cancer has destroyed. My doctor had told me not to have sex while I was having the treatments because he said my vagina would be tender from the treatments. I am sure that your doctor knows what is best for you but he can't feel what you are feeling so make sure he knows how uncomfortable you are. And don't be embarrassed to tell him. That is something else that a gyn cancer tries to do to you, strip you of your dignity. Other cancers don't cause you to have to spread your legs and expose you at your most vulnerable. Not only does it threaten your life but it has to embarass you. you can't stop and then have to start all over again. I have never even met you but your fighting spirit makes me think that you have what it takes to get through this. I will keep you in my prayers as always.
Unread 06-04-2001, 09:00 PM

{{Robyn}} {{Zoe}} {{Valentina}}

You all are so very strong! You can and will get through this! I don't think there is anything I can add to what the ladies have already expressed but add my prayers also.

Cyndy, what a truly wonderful saying! I can't imagine a better way to sum it up as that just about says it all. This beast can get us all down for a while but sure can't keep us there!

Keep strong gals, you're all almost there and we'll be with you every step of the way, anytime you need. are looking over all your shoulders.

Big cyber {{hugs}}


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