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stupid things people say... stupid things people say...

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Unread 09-09-2009, 06:15 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

Why do people think 6 weeks off after surgery is a vacation? I don't think they have ever had surgery--but somethings people say make me shake my head and wonder if I am hearing things. I don't think people mean to be insensitive, they just don't engage their brain before the lips move---the last post made me laugh so hard I made my incision ache! Ha HA!!!!!
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Unread 10-10-2009, 02:02 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

Originally Posted by bergmm4 View Post
I was in the ER one day because my arrythmia was acting up. I told the doctor that I had a hysto recently and he looked at my DH and said " OH you lucky son of a *****, my wife is making me get a vesectomy!"
My dh said this to me! When I came home from the docs and told him that I have to have a LAVH the first thing out of his mouth was **** I just had that vesectomy! He really did just have it in about 2 months before i found out about the cancer... I still love him though...
Unread 10-12-2009, 09:34 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

Get this one -- a friend I don't see that often, N, who just had a baby with her partner, put pictures of their son on her Facebook. When I congratulated her, she asked what I'd been up to. Well...I had my TAH on 8/21/09 and at the time, was still at home, recovering, so I replied that I'd had a hysterectomy. This was the first I'd mentioned my surgery to anyone outside of my immediate circle of people and I disliked broadcasting it publicly to begin with (I'm funny that way). But her response floored me. She said, "Congratulations on getting rid of your uterus. B (her partner) will be jealous."

Now, I'm 48. I'm single and childless by choice. Fortunately, I was pretty asymptomatic pre-op, compared to many here but N didn't know any of the circumstances for my hyst (I had fibroids the size of grapefruits, had bad lower back pain and stress incontinence because the fibroids were interfering with my bladder). She also didn't know that it was my preference to be childless -- I don't recall if it was ever discussed. So how rude was it for someone you consider a friend to say "Congratulations"???? Her partner is having bad menopause symptoms -- that was the reason for the "B will be jealous" part.

This, on the heels of being totally ignored by my office. I received two pay-check stubs by mail while I was home recuperating and neither time did either envelope contain any sort of greeting or acknowledgement. No card came from anyone except a former Junior High School teacher I recently regained contact with, and the only flowers I received were from my best friend on the other side of the country.

One of my bosses even went so far as to make sure I had all my work taken care of before I left so that "they wouldn't be left in the lurch". Never once did he ever wish me good luck or a speedy recovery or -- hey -- here's a novel thought -- ask me how I am now that I'm back.

I recognize that I'm one of these very independent and self-sufficient people, but I don't think acknowledging major surgery qualifies as coddling, right?
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Unread 10-19-2009, 08:57 PM
Re: stupid things people say...

My 9yo daughter is such a riot...

DD: They took out the baby parts right mom?
Me: Yes Darling
DD: How'd they get broke?
Me: I don't know for sure sweetie
DD: Well I was the last one in there, right?
Me: Yes.
DD: Omg mom, I broke your baby parts. Im so sorry

She's dead serious, tears in her eyes, and all I could do was laff. I assured her she did not break my baby parts. and that I didn't miss them.
Unread 10-19-2009, 09:12 PM
Re: stupid things people say...

"Gee, how do I get off for six weeks for a hysterectomy?". As if it's a vacation. Gimme a break. Although it was done in humor, I didn't exactly laugh.
Unread 10-20-2009, 01:15 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

My ever competing sister in law said to me pre op "well I guess you will know how I felt after my c section". I said "uh....they are different surgeries." (BTW, I had a near death ectopic pregnancy and 2 kids in one year, abd surgery for bowel obstructions and a tubal ligation)
She kept insisting she had the worse of the two surgeries, so I went online and printed out what they do for TAH vs C-Sections....I never heard from her about it again. In fact I didnt see her for 5 weeks after my surgery...not sure if thats a bad thing....
Unread 10-20-2009, 03:39 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

I just received an email from a friend who let me know that my recovery was just like a c-section and did I miss the baby???????? I really can't respond effectively to that as I had two HORRIBLE vaginal deliveries. I can tell you that from all I have read here and almost two weeks post op from my TVH, I don't think it is the same........
Unread 10-20-2009, 06:41 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

And don't count on women who've had hysterectomies to be any more sensitive than anyone else. Except for one, those I know treated me like I'd had a hang nail.
Unread 10-21-2009, 09:14 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

Rammchick - sorry that you were treated with so much insensitivity, I think this thread is meant as a reminder to all of us that our words really are subjective and humor is definitely a good thing.

Unread 10-21-2009, 09:20 AM
Re: stupid things people say...

Thank you!

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