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Stupid People!!! Stupid People!!!

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Unread 06-22-2001, 10:15 AM
Stupid People!!!

Makes me so angry!! Talking to my Mom on the phone yesterday! Of course she has to tell me what my sister says about my surgery! My sister is a nurse and obviously knows all in the family's book!
My mom says the hyster should not be done. "Your sister works at an old folk's home and she says they run around with prolapse all the time. It literaly hangs out and they have no problems. Why should you?"
I asked her-First of all Mom, do they like to engage in sex with their husbands?, Do they enjoy the severe back pain? Do they have kids they have to keep up with? Do they like the sores and or ulcerations they have to put up with on their cervix everytime they wear underwear? Do they like the fact they have to tuck it in before sitting down? Do they like to splint when defacating??!!!
I am so mad. All I wanted was a little support!
This surgery is scary enough! I do not need to be told it is the wrong decision! The back pain was so bad last night I was crying and couldn't do anything. Which I suppose was my fault! I tested the **** thing to see if I was making the right decision. So all day long, I lifted, I bent over to clean fridge, I did what I wanted to do and was on my feet all day. You see the dr kept telling me it was my back causing all this. But I knew it was the prolapse.
So I checked the measurment of where it was yesterday morning, and then again last night after doing stuff. It is now way down!! To my introitis instead of one inch above it.
It is my uterus so now I try to find a dr that will listen. I am off to my appt this morning with high hopes. With it down this far -how can they refuse?
Stupid people!!!! Why don't they just trust the individual's word for it!
Thanks for the venting range! Love to all
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Unread 06-22-2001, 10:30 AM
Stupid People

Peanut, my surgery is scheduled for 7/5 and I have been hearing some similar negative comments from family members. They make me feel defensive and sometimes I have even doubted my desicion to have this surgery. I think to myself "am I being a baby about a little pain? what if I'm not one of the people who's problems are resolved by a hysterectomy?"(I have endo). Thank heavens I keep a journal. One night I went through my old journals and realized I have been suffering for YEARS and that this is MY decision to make.
A good friend recently reminded me that when you are pregnant everyone tells you a horror story either of their own or someone they know. I think this is the same type of thing--for lack of real knowledge they tell you a second hand story. Don't buy into it and don't be afraid to ask them not to tell you any more tales of horror! Good luck to you!

Unread 06-22-2001, 11:05 AM
stupid people

I know the pain you are talking about. Like I've said before...mine felt like early labor. You will get the support you need here.
Luckily, my family trusted my judgement and let me read them things out of books/this web too.
I did the best thing for me. I had one person act negative about my surgery"are you sure about this, once it's gone you can't get it back" I'm assuming she meant my uterus...who knows & who cares!! you know your body better than any one, and even tho' I'm only 10 days post-op I can already tell a difference. I can only imagine how good I'll feel in 6 weeks!! this 48 yr. old is going have a blast
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Unread 06-22-2001, 11:52 AM
A Really Good nurse.......There goeds my blood boiling again......


Sorry you are having to deal with unprofessional behavior on the part of a nurse, plus the part about your prolapse. I hope you will be ok soon.

As I have said before, a really good nurse would always try to absolutely try his or her hardest to calm your fears, not to add to them. A nurses's role is to advise you if you ask. We should not just butttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt in if it is none of our business because we hold a different role in our society than say a construction worker when it comes to giving information. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind spending a long day talking to a construction worker doing a soda commercial...OH ! I DIGRESS! has been since February......Any how,,,The number one thing that nurses are taught to say when something as important in nature as this comes up, the nurse directs the concerns of the patient to the doctor, but can help make available avenues of self educastion to the client, or give only credible unbias info. The nurse does not pass judgement on the patient's decisions. She is not judge and jury.
Tell her to refrain from unprofessional behavior at this time. If something were to not be perfect, you do not want to listen to "I told you so " the rest of your life.
Remember that we all love you, and you can use this time to practice your assertiveness training. You Will BE FINE. God Bless you.
Love nurse diva.(margo)
Unread 06-22-2001, 02:04 PM
Stupid People!!!

Thank you! That is a perfect description. "early labor!"
Only my labor wasn'tthat hard until I pushed! I know what you mean, I can't listen, and it wasn't that they said anything negative, ity is the way they say it-know what I mean?
It just hurts! Too much going on and I am hormonal anyway!
Sharon~ Did your prolapse kick up more after lifting? I always wondered why it idid that!
Nurse Diva~ Thanks I am sending a copy of your statement to my sister the nurse! I think she has been in the field for so long and seen so much, nothig concerns her or effects her anymore. I have seen nurses and drs both get rather cold and hard over time. Not all of them-mind you, just some. It must be hard to see the things they do and still keep a sense of compassion.
Mrs. Hanna-Thank you for the encouragement.
I am trying "Healthy Woman" today for the hormonalstuff. Wish me luck. It is strictly phyto estrogen and I hope to God it works! Anyone ever tried it for peri menopause? Think maybe I will hop over to the desert and ask!
love to all
Unread 06-22-2001, 05:01 PM
Stupid People!!!

Hiya Peanut....

First of all, if I read your post correctly, your sister feels that these poor elderly women do not mind having their insides hanging out. How does she know it doesn't bother them? I find it hard to believe that they chose to stay this way. Maybe they were at the mercy of some bad medical advice. Maybe, because of their overall health and age the surgery was a risk. Maybe their insurance wouldn't cover it. My uterus is only a stage one or two I have cystocele and rectocel. I am choosing to have a hysterectomy because I don't want things to start hanging out!!! Her mentality kind of reminds me of the first doctor I saw...a man by the way....who told me he had seen a lot worse. He went on to say "at least it isn't hanging out. You don't need surgery". Sheesh...give me a break. Do I want to wait until things progress that far to have my surgery...certainly not. I feel discomfort all the time now. I have pressure, back aches, hip pain, and if I lift a lot, it is so much worse. When I finally went to my new doctor and then on to a GYN...she recommended a hysterectomy with cystocele and rectocele repair. I told her what my first doctor said about not having the surgery...and she said " isn't his insides falling out".

I am terrified of surgery but I am even more afraid of losing my normal life. I want to be able to run, lift and play with my grandchildren. I am 50 years old and apparently my old doctor thought I had no need to stay active. phbbbbbttttt! The thing is, the problem won't go away and will continue to get worse and worse as time goes on. I am so much worse than I was a year ago.

By the way, to answer a question you addressed to Karen...yes, the prolapse is worse when I lift or do anything even slightly physical. Even if I walk a lot, things move down. I know the feeling of pain and pressure you are talking about too. I have told my husband it sort of feels like I am trying to give birth to my uterus.

Sorry this post is so long but I know how hard it is to face surgery even with all positive input. I can't imagine facing it with negative input. Do what is right for you and your body. You are the one that knows how you feel. You will have all of our support here at Hyster Sisters.

Unread 06-22-2001, 06:22 PM
Stupid People!!!

Thank you! How I have wondered if my hip pain was related! All the drs jsut say no! But I never had it until I started drooping down there! (maybe I should change my name to droopy!)
I know what you mean about those women. Seems like she was so cold to them! I just can not wait until it gets that bad! I don't want surgery when I am any older anyway! There is to much going on and I am home-schooling my kids this next yr again...It will be a perfect time to heal without having to drive!
Wish things were well for everyone! Thank you again!
Love Peanut
Unread 06-22-2001, 07:24 PM
Stupid People

I also have prolapse and am having a hyst in Sept. Because of prior surgeries this will be a difficult surgery and I have to have it at a major medical center. The head of the dept. of gynecology is doing the surgery along with the former head of the urology department. For me it is a big deal, but my local gyn as well as these other two doctors feel I need to get it done as it will only get worse. They are compassionate by the fact that they are willing to help me even tho it will be long, difficult, and complex. Thank God for doctors like them! They all feel I dont need to suffer with my cervix hanging out of my body! I agree!
Unread 04-01-2005, 08:40 PM
Stupid People!!!

This type of comment was the very reason that I did not tell my husbands relatives that I was having surgery. They live right in our time and I am sure they wonder why I am off work for so long. Let them keep wondering.

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