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6 days post op - lack of support 6 days post op - lack of support

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  #1  
Unread 05-23-2007, 09:27 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

one of the things i've had problems with since deciding to have the hysterectomy, is getting emotional support from friends and family. in october of last year, i had brain surgery, and the support for that was unbelievable. co-workers, friends, family - everybody came out in full force to support me. now, 7 months later, it's like i don't exist. i didn't think it'd much matter after the fact, but i'm feeling a bit resentful right now.

i'm staying at my mother's post-op and, while she has been supportive in a physical sort of sense (she helps me with the things i can't do, etc...), she's really cold when it comes to my pain, or my feelings about the surgery or its aftereffects. likewise, all my friends and co-workers have just blown me off. some said, "oh, well - you've been through this before - it'll be a breeze." but most even forgot i was having it.

i feel a bit like i'm just whining here, but it really is bothering me a lot more than i thought it would. guess i thought the feelings would go away after surgery, and they just haven't.

LR
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  #2  
Unread 05-23-2007, 09:34 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Sometimes, I think that people are embarrased by the "sexual nature" of the hysterectomy. It makes it hard for them to openly discuss the surgery. keep your chin up.
  #3  
Unread 05-23-2007, 09:42 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

LucindaRose
I am so sorry that you are not getting the emotional support that you need. It sounds like you've had a challenging year with 2 major surgeries. I am glad that you are posting here for support. Keep doing that. I have found some great support on this site, and I know that you will too. There are plenty of sisters to support you and who understand what it is like to experience a hysterectomy. I hope that you will soon be feeling better. Please let us know how you are doing.
's to you
Rhonda
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  #4  
Unread 05-23-2007, 09:59 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

Many 's and many 's. I know it can get rough and I am so grateful for this site! As the other sister said keep posting here and talking to us, we are all going through the same things, so we can have empathy for each other. I realize now that people really have no clue what a major surgery a hyst is!?!?!?! I mean its MAJOR and a lot of people act like your just getting a filling in your tooth or something! Ugh!

Anyway, now that i've said my two maybe their is one or two people that your close enough to that you can let them know exactly how you feel and how left out your feelings, like since its not brain surgery this time no one cares. (Which by the way i'm soooo sorry you had to endure that) Maybe if you try and talk to one of them, some one might understand. I hope they do because with the emotions and pain and everything else we go through we really need TLC. So hang in there!!
  #5  
Unread 05-24-2007, 05:27 AM
6 days post op - lack of support

I am so sorry you are not being treated like the Princess you are The other Sisters are right, people just don't get it - this is major surgery and it takes about 6 months to fully recover. You are dealing with a BIG trauma to your body and hormore issues to boot.

Talking to others that have been through this helps a lot! Also, maybe DM could read some of the posting on this site?? Maybe then she will have an idea of what you are going through.

When people ask me where I have been and I tell them, they just look at me like I have suddenly grown two heads. I had suffered in silence for many years - and now that I am on the road to recovery, I know the importance of "Pampering the Princess" and I m NOT gonna do anything to hender my progress.

You can vent, rant and rave to us anytime - this site is the best!

Maybe you bounced back from your other surgery so well, they expect the same now.

Take care of yourself and if no one else is gonna do it - make sure YOU pamper the Princess

Mary Beth
  #6  
Unread 05-24-2007, 05:42 AM
6 days post op - lack of support

If it wasn't for the support of this site, I would have gone completely nutty. Or should I say nuttier?...lol.

I honestly believe that no one other than another woman that has gone through the same thing understands the emotional/physical effects of a hysterectomy. It's like people don't know what to say; so they say nothing. And that has more of an effect than what they think may be the wrong thing to say. I don't know if that made any sense.

Take care of yourself! The journey of a new life has just begun for us!
  #7  
Unread 05-24-2007, 03:47 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

LucindaRose,

So sorry that your family and friends are acting this way. It totally agree with tattooedneck, no one other than someone who has gone through it really understands.

I don't think you are whining. You've had a tough couple of years, and you deserve to have some emotional support. Keep your chin up, and don't let everyone wear you down.

{{HUGS}}
  #8  
Unread 05-24-2007, 07:27 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

You gals are all so great! I had to laugh; my DM would never read this site. She thinks that getting support on the internet is the stupidest thing, even though she knows that my primary support with both this surgery and the last came online.

Have had a rough day today, and I've pretty much just done nothing. The DM is annoyed, I think, but tries to keep that to herself as much as possible. I think she believes I should be running marathons now!

I don't have anyone here to talk to who "gets" it, or even who pretends to want to; fortunately, I do have a therapist I'll be seeing in a couple of weeks, so I can talk to her about my frustrations.

Thanks all, and I'm sure you'll be seeing more of me!

LR
  #9  
Unread 05-24-2007, 11:19 PM
6 days post op - lack of support

  Quote:
Originally Posted by tattooedneck
If it wasn't for the support of this site, I would have gone completely nutty. Or should I say nuttier?...lol.

I honestly believe that no one other than another woman that has gone through the same thing understands the emotional/physical effects of a hysterectomy. It's like people don't know what to say; so they say nothing. And that has more of an effect than what they think may be the wrong thing to say. I don't know if that made any sense.

Take care of yourself! The journey of a new life has just begun for us!

Amen sister. It made sense to me!

I have 2 sisters, one older and one younger who have no clue what I've been through. All they can come up with is how jealous they are that I won't have any more periods.
I'm actually shocked that I've recieved no "How ya doing" phone calls or anything.

This site has been a blessing since we all understand eachother and care enough to be here for eachother.

  #10  
Unread 05-25-2007, 08:51 AM
6 days post op - lack of support

hi peeps
yep i had the same thing today, my friend is being an absolute love helping me taking me shopping etc but feels that she has to tell all the shop assistants why she is carrying my bags! i am mortified each time she announces to the shop what i had done and arn't i lucky not having the monthlies anymore! i was scarlet today and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. i assured her that it wasn't all a bed of roses and i am not fit to do loads of stuff yet but she thinks im skiving off a bit i am sure !! GRRRRRR
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