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Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!! Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

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Unread 05-24-2007, 10:02 PM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Okay all so I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I walked out of there feeling happy and confident and ready for anything....Then it all set in!!
I keep thinking maybe it's not as bad as I think and maybe I will be just fine without this surgery if I just learn to cope better..I don't know, I have all these thoughts running through my head and I cannot seem to decipher them. I know that many of these fears are irrational but I cannot seem to shake off the anxiety.
I am sure that this is all very normal, but at the moment knowing that its normal is still not very comforting.
Is constant cramping enough of a reason? Is the heavy bleeding that I have always experienced and learned to deal with enough? What about the sharp pain that comes and goes with activity? Is the always bloated and pregnant looking belly? This all seemed like enough when I scheduled the surgery but as the surgery date is fast approaching it no longer seems like enough. HELP
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Unread 05-25-2007, 12:01 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Hi EchoBrandy, I'm really new to all this but I really associate with where you are at this present moment in time, I think we all have our doubts 'am I doing the right thing' ? 'will it just go away'? as I said I'm really new and I have found real comfort & reassurance in reading other ladies stories & accounts.
I'm 10 days pre-op and this months 'period' was just 7 days (instead of 15+) with only a couple of days of bad cramps which I could cope with ..... the same question is running through my head 'do I really need it done'? but I don't know what next month is going to be like!
I think our 'feelings & thoughts' are perfectly normal and at the end of the day it's our call, and what ever decision you come to will be okay..... I think we just have a case of the pre-op jitters
Sorry I couldn't be of much help, I just want You to know you are not alone
Unread 05-25-2007, 05:41 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Hi EchoBrandy!
Looks like you and I are scheduled for the same day! I just had my pre-op at the hospital Tuesday and I, too, know what you mean. But, I think it really is normal and just pre-op jitters.

The reason for my TAH is not due to any physical pain I'm having - (I'm a breast cancer survivor and the meds I was taking started causing issues that I can't really "feel"), basically, I feel, what I think about is that I'll be going from feeling no pain to having pain from the surgery. But, I know that the surgery is the right thing for me to do and once I get on the other side of the surgery and on the road to recovery, I'm going to feel so relieved to not have something going on with me to have to worry about. Plus, having my ovaries removed will help decrease the chance of my breast cancer coming back.

Hang in there, sweetie...we'll both get through this and celebrate together when we're on the road to recovery.
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Unread 05-25-2007, 05:46 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Ya'll did not mention your ages.

Here is the questions - can you live like this for another 10 to 15 years? It more than likely will get worse as time goes on - can you live like that? Can you live with the pain, the bleeding, the clots? Can you live with ruined bedsheets, panties and clothes? Can you live with making plans then having to cancel them? Can you live searching out the nearest bathroom wherever you go? Can you live with a large purse on your arm so you can carry the supplies? Do you want to check the TP everytime you go, just to make sure? Do you want to sit down and enjoy dinner with freinds and then stand up without checking the chair or feeling the gush?

I had been told in my 40s that I was pre-mental and that it was "normal" - I had no life. Finally in Jan. I had a positive Bx that forced the issue and BOY am I glad

Sure, recovery seems to take forever. There was some pain and discomfort, but not as bad as some of the stabbing cramps I have before. People told me I would feel so much better and I thought they had lost their minds. But they were right!

I can purchase nice bedsheets. I can wear panties more than once. I can wear WHITE! ( I only had black or navy pants before) I can take long car trips without any worries.

I remember the pre-op fears and concerns - the "what ifs". We have all been there and understand.

Life is good on the other side - I promise.

Mary Beth
Unread 05-25-2007, 05:50 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

I'm in the same boat, second guessing myself. Wondering if I can't deal will the pain and heavy bleeding. I'm sure to feel like this is normal. If not I'm going crazy, LOL..
Unread 05-25-2007, 06:15 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Well said Mary Beth. You described my situation very well. I have now missed "3 periods" and life has been wonderful!!!

Echobrandy, it is normal to be scared and wonder if individually your symptoms are worth it. I think Mary Beth said it perfectly, is it where you continue with your current symptoms or not. While my BX was negative, it was enough to force the issue for me in that I did not want that fear again or a future biopsy. If I had to do it all over again, I would have done it 3 years ago when the doctor would have first wanted to do it. However, it is up to each individual to determine when it is time!!!
Unread 05-25-2007, 08:19 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

I feel your fear! I felt the SAME way yesteday as I left my pre-op appt. Maybe I shouldn't do this? Am I making the right choice? Is my sex life gonna take a dive? Will my DH even know? Can't I control the PAINFUL cramps everymonth with medicine? Learn relaxtion skills? What am I doing???????? I went through that all yesterday too as soon as I got in my truck. BAM! HIT ME! UT OH ! Now, my fear has approached as the time gets closer.

I know where you are coming from!

Unread 05-25-2007, 08:39 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Nurse 83, I have a question for you.

I'm still struggling with the option of keeping my ovaries. I noticed you kept yours. Do they still function okay?
I've read where sometimes they go into shock and wont work even after leaving them in and then you have to take hormones.
I'm 40, and I just don't know what to do. I keep asking myself, would it be better to go into surgery induced menopause and get it over with?
Or struggle for several years with it? I feel like so much of my life has been wasted b/c of the cramps/heavy bleeding/anemia/extreme fatigue/ I could go on and on.

I just don't want to waste anymore. Also, my husband & i have been married for 23 years, and we still have a "GREAT" sex life. Sure it has slowed down, but still great.
I don't want to lose that. I'm afraid having my cervix and ovaries removed will affect that.
Of course then again, on the other side, maybe I will stop being so tired, no pain....maybe it will get better???

UGHHHH...decisions...decisions....wish i could see into the future so i would know what to do....
Unread 05-25-2007, 09:03 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!

Wish I had a crystal ball too! Don't we all!

Unread 05-25-2007, 10:12 AM
Pre-Op is over and the fear has set in!!


I had a TAH/BSO - all my parts and pieces removed. I talked it over with my doctor and then asked him "If I was your wife or mother, what would you do?" - He said "TAKE IT ALL!"
I did not want to go back in a few years to face more surgery - I wanted to get it all over with at once so I could get on with my life. At 50 years old and married to DH for 25 years, I am here to tell you - sex is good We are like newlyweds again. The best part is anywhere, at anytime. The big O is still there!!!

Keeping your ovaries at 40 - may mean PMS symtpoms for another 10 years (or more) I had terrible PMS - not any more

I do not take any hormores - due to many factors - I have a few hot flashes now and then - more like flushes. The night sweats can be a bear - but I figure millions of women dealt with this before HTs came around - so Ican too. These symptoms are not nearly as bad as what I was dealing with before.

Talk it over with your Doctor - if there is a family history or other factors that put you at risk for cancer - that makes it easier to decide. Do it all at once - recover once and enjoy the next 23 years with your DH worry free.

Good Luck!

Mary Beth

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