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Help I really think I am losing it today Help I really think I am losing it today

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Unread 06-02-2007, 04:55 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I have been painting the porch all day and I am tired of looking at paint brushes and working all the time I can't quit crying On Monday I will be 7 weeks post op and the Dr. released me on thursday. My sex life is a mess although my husband says its not that everything is okay but I am not happy with myself its not him and I can't get anyone to really help me. It's like I feel so alone and empty. I hate myself I really do I am sitting here writing this thinking I have no where to run to and no one cares. What am I supposed to do. Is this normal for post op women? Or am I really out there this time? I got my nails done yesterday just to do something for myself and theres paint all over them now and they look nasty and I feel like cutting them off . I'm sorry for venting and acting like this but I don't have no one I can talk to or to vent to that understands even if they did they wouldn't care anyway. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Unread 06-02-2007, 05:27 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hi, I am assuming that you had a hysterectomy. So, you are in a way...empty. It sounds like you are depressed. It also sounds like you are grieving. And, it seems that you may have exhausted yourself with the painting. So, it is great that you are venting here with all of us and that is one way to deal with your feelings...I just posted my story, I am new and just had my hysterectomy last week and already have cried and "lost it" several times...

As far as your question, "Am I really out here this time?" makes me feel like you believe there "should' be an appropriate way and time frame to behave after losing your uterus and whatever else you had removed...the ability to have children, the ability to control your hormones, the ability to feel like a complete woman....on and on we all go... What you do know is you don't like feeling the way you do right now. But, there is help...and I believe that you may need a different course of treatment to get you feeling happy again. What that is you will have to explore. Who knows if you were happy before your surgery? I just know that feeling bad is an opportunity for me to find people to help me feel better. And these new relationships have brought me more than just a pill, idea or new action. It brought me community and totally showed me that I am not alone with how I feel or felt at the time.

Keep reaching out and get some rest. Put the paint brush down and put your feet up. I will need you to figure this out so when I am at 7 weeks post op you can help me!

Thanks, Laura
Unread 06-02-2007, 05:38 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I wonder if you are having some hormone shifts that are causing you some problems.
I tend to have a problem with depression and notice I have been worse the last few weeks. I had my surgery on April 11th. I had my ovaries removed so I'm on estrogen and I upped the doseage about a week ago. I also upped the antidepressant I am on.
I think that this feeling can be normal for some women. I know some sail through the process but from what I have read here not all of us do.
I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. You may want to talk with your doctor about it.
I see you kept your ovaries so maybe they aren't working correctly yet.
I wish I had the right answers but I'm still looking for them also.
Take care and you are not alone!
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Unread 06-02-2007, 05:52 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I'm sorry you're feeling so distraught. Trust me, there is a whole group of us that absolutely cares about how you're feeling and your happiness. You are NOT alone. Sounds like your issues may be hormonal. Please call your doctor and make an appointment to discuss how you're feeling; besides just the physical issues. My husband has been wonderful during my surgery and after; not so much before because he didn't understand. The doctor really explained how messed up I was to him after the surgery and told him if I would have waited til July (like I wanted to because of work) I would have died. It really opened his eyes up and he has been great ever since. Sometimes though, I feel like chopping his head off; for no real reason. I'm taking Estroven Extra Strength and it's helping. Your body has been through a severe trauma and it has to readjust. Give yourself time and ask your Dr for options. I will be thinking about you!!!
Unread 06-02-2007, 06:05 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Thanks Ladies I really appreciate all the kind words. I thank God for this site because I really don't have anyone else. Its like I just take up space here and I know they need me but I don't want to be needed anymore I want to be wanted. Does that make sense? The day of my surgery my DH got into with my Dr. and I was scared enough and with all the yelling my Dr. said she wouldn't do the surgery if he didn't want her to and my parents didn't go they didn't even visit me at the hospital or since I have come home. They haven't even called. And my brother that lives in Nantucket bless his soul was home when I had it done and he was wonderful but when he left that week I have been without any visitors, my sisters don't call or stop maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself and missing my brother. I did keep my ovaries so maybe they haven't started working right yet like Lizzy320 said I just know I don't want to live my entire life feeling this way. Thanks Ladies its so nice to have women that I can talk to I guess I really am not alone with all of you. THANKS ALOT FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!
Unread 06-02-2007, 06:17 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

You're going to make it. Just please take care of yourself. You are very important, and since we can't physically take care of you right now you're going to have to do it for yourself. But we're here to listen and support you emotionally all you need.

Unread 06-02-2007, 07:02 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

It is somewhat interesting on the family situation. My best friend had asked me if it was something going around with families behaving badly. She has disowned her family. They ignore her kids. One of the kids just graduated from college and even though my friend sent out graduation invitations only one sister responded. (Her parents, and 3 other sister's ignored everything. She has gone to their kids graduations and so on.)
My friend had said lots of people in her church are having the same sort of problems with their families and I know others that seem to be having lots of problems.
Let's face it, just because you are a family member doesn't mean that those are the people you would choose if it was up to you! Try not to let it get you down. It does sound like you have a nice brother!
Try not to overdo things because being overtired makes things seem worse.
Unread 06-02-2007, 07:13 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I have heard the same thing I just don't understand it when theres a problem with them they want me right there but with me its like oh well its Kim she always bounces back she'll be okay its always been that way though everything is my fault They said I had to have this done because I work like a man and shouldn't do that, Maybe after the hysterectomy is done I will have learned my lesson and not do that anymore. Oh well I guess that is how the world turns. I really appreciate your comments I just really needed someone to talk to . And I am not crying right now so that is a good thing Thanks a million Ladies God Bless each and everyone of you!!!!!!!!!! BIG HUGS TO ALL......
Unread 06-02-2007, 07:26 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I have had to call my mom because she "didn't" know when to she got rid of her long distance on her home phone and is cell phone ignorant...but she did send me flowers and a card. Keep reaching inside for strength and guidence. What's up with your DH yelling at your DR? Maybe this surgery has happen to force you to look at your life and see where you need to make some positive changes??? Hang in there!
Unread 06-02-2007, 07:40 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today


I have a woman Dr. and she is very good. He does not like male Dr.s around me I think he is nuts but he wanted to know who her assitant was and said no men allowed in there she said what if something goes on with her heart am
I supposed to let her die because you don't want a man in there and he said yes. I couldn't believe it. SHe put me out before I even left the holding room so I could calm down. DH said that he was just protecting me because when I was little I was molested but that is not protecting me that is making me look bad. She did not hold that against me though she was very professional. I just wish he didn't look at things like that. I just want him to understand that what he thinks does not happen but he don't listen to me and he won't even discuss the surgery without getting mad so I try not to bring it up. I just wish sometimes I never did this but I needed it done and I know that. Thank you for your comment it gives me something to think seriously think about... Thanks

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