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Help I really think I am losing it today Help I really think I am losing it today

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Unread 06-03-2007, 06:17 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Well ladies how true all of that is. Husbands try but they just don't get it. And we try to figure out what is wrong and wonder if it is us and I think that we just put to much pressure on ourselves. Yes we can pick our friends and I really picked a good bunch of friends when I found this site. You ladies are such wonderful friends I really don't know what I would of done or what I would do if you were not here.. Thanks 100 times over.
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Unread 06-03-2007, 06:57 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

who am i - feel a bit off myself - dont know if it is the horomone medicine - but do notice i am more anxious than i ever was before - increased my anxiety medication as well
i understand what you mean about your family- estrange somewhat from my mother - who lives 2 miles away - no card, no visit in hospital nothing, a sister who i just saw last weekend who lives 5 miles away- and the others 5 of them barely hear from - they may call upon occassion- as like with being kids everyone took care of themselves - my dad died when i was 12.
i was raped repeatedly by my cousin - and husband is very protective but also tell him when he is pushing it and making me more anxious- because he is not helping me- he is not very patient- and have had a lot of health issues this year and have gone through basically ever cancer screening known to man -
i get down too - but at least there is the site to fall back on
Unread 06-03-2007, 07:36 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Dear Laura:

Hey there! Thanks for the great encouragement. You really made good sense. I can't believe you have the clear headed perspective you have just 11 days out. Good for you, and I hope you continue feeling the way you do now. I tend toward depression anyway, so I think it's only "natural" for me to be feeling a lot of the things I have been these past few weeks, given my psychological nature in the first place. Everything just becomes magnified in the wake of the surgery. Meanwhile, my cousin went through the same thing I did only her surgery was due to ovarian cancer instead, and she had a lot of personal stuff going on with her marriage to boot ... So what does she do? She scales the Grand Canyon!![i] (after her chemo ended) And I am still feeling sorry for myself ... then I feel guilty for that! Oy vey. But all you all have said is so true. Super advice, Laura. Thanks.

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Unread 06-03-2007, 08:23 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I am so sorry that you went through what you did it is not easy. I am 43 years old and didn't remember being molested or raped but I started having what they call flash backs and the subject came up at the Dr.s and she said maybe so I did some questioning and that is how I found out. I told the dr I don't remember all of it but she said I went to a happy place when it happened so I guess that is good I found out about 4 or 5 years ago. Its a struggle to think something like that could have happened and you don't remember. But you know I guess thats our bodies way of protecting us. Things will get better for you and it is good to know that other people have gone through this too that way we don't feel so alone and confined now we have someone to talk to, and that means alot when you are having a bad day. I sure hope you start feeling better and that we can get our emotions in check.. God bless you and if you need to talk I am here and so are so many others that understand... Thank you for your story and your honesty.......
Unread 06-03-2007, 08:30 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

gertierlp and Imarkis
Hello ladies and how are you today? I agree with Gertie that you Laura are amazing with how well you are doing being this early out and I sure hope you keep going up and up. I am also tend to depression and it seems like the meds. don't work right now maybe the dr. needs to up the dosage or something and that is probably why I feel the way I do like Gertie said things get magnified real quick. Thanks for the advice and friendship your two it means the world to me.....
Unread 06-04-2007, 07:50 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

who am i - mine where repressed memories also - so it has been a tough road - and i totally disassociated from everything. - mine came out three years ago when my daughter was assualted at a camp in boston - trust me i am right there with you about how you cant remember things at all and her assualted brought it all back up. the flashbacks can be intense but work with a wonderful therapist - even the gyn picked it up years ago- and always told me he was just the gyn - to reassure me - he is a doll- and was always as careful as he could be. and it does mean a lot when you have others to talk to who have been through the same thing you have - aol has a good sight also and i have connected with various people that way too- one day this too shall pass but a long road- take good care of yourself
Unread 06-04-2007, 09:45 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I feel for all of you who are dealing with memories or flashbacks. They can be such a terrible thing to deal with. I have noticed all people react differently in their healing of this also. Many feel so alone and scared afraid to talk about it.
I was molested by my Grandfather 12 yrs ago, and later experienced date rape.It took along time to deal with both. I can remember every detail from them. I don't know if you ever get past it but I know for me each year gets alittle easier. Support is the important thing. I married a man who didn't understand and was way to overprotective. That seemed to make me worse. I didn't realize it but I was hide from the world. I wasn't given the chance to heal. I had night terrors all the time and was afraid to go anywhere alone. That marriage didn't last.
Now I am married to a wonderful man who has given me the freedom to find myself and explore the emotions and fears. He sits up with me when I have a night terror. Which by the way has not happened since about 6 months after I moved in with him. He makes me feel more confident and safe. It's like I can do anything. I can even go to dinner with my Grandparents again without the emotional h***.
I hope that you find some peace in you hearts as you deal with all these emotions. If ANYONE would like to email me I will gladly listen.
Unread 06-04-2007, 02:29 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I to was afraid to leave my home and I didn't know why I started having panic and anxiety attacks in 93 and couldn't figure it out then I went to work in 96 thinking I would feel better and I literally threw up everytime I went to the work place then a few years ago when all this came out I didn't know what to think and I have been thinking about going to a hypnotist to see if it is true I can't imagine why someone would lie about something like that but since I can't remember and there is only bits and pieces in flashbacks you kind of wonder if it really did happen or if it is in your head...But you know my heart goes out to you ladies because having to deal with that and now trying to recover from surgury and the mental and emotional changes from that is enough to deal with well I have to go and get dinner ready so I will talk to you all later. I will be back on in case you all need to talk and Thank you for your support I really appreciate it......Now I know what true friendship really is...Thank you....
Unread 06-06-2007, 01:27 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hi Who am I,

I cannot believe that I finally met someone who is going through and having the same feelings as I am. I feel so alone and depressed. I just keep having my own personal pity parties. My body feels strange to me. I had surgery on March 6th and I my symtoms are getting worse. I also found a lump on both sides of my incisions. I called the doctor, but he is on vacation, so I am waiting to hear from him on Monday. I just received my three month checkpoint list from hystersisters and I highlighted all my symptoms. I guess I am being thrown back into menopause again. One minute I'm ok, the next I am crying and at work. How embarrassing is that?

It's so good to have this site to see that I am not alone in this journey through life.
Unread 06-06-2007, 04:18 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I know it is embarrassing. I cry for no reason and everything bothers me its like I am not the same person anymore and to be honest I really do hate myself. I have thought about just leaving here. My nerves can't take anymore but it is no ones fault but mine., Hopefully you will fill better soon but I didn't think it would last this long. Maybe you have the right idea by calling the doctor. I sure hope you feel better. Please let me know what they say and let me know how you are feeling. And if you need to talk please feel free because I am here and like you it is nice to know that you are not in this alone.......

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