I'm so confused...

I'm with the others--and I didn't have the tough fight. My experience, I used to say, was that I was standing on a street corner, minding my business, when a mack truck went careening by, and kept driving. By the time I realized how close I was to losing it all it was over. And yet it changed me and like the ripples in a pond, the change keeps expanding across time. Multiply that by 10 and that's where you are.

People are often threatened by change in others because they fear the changes that could happen in themselves. And then they get nasty. Men fear not being in control, too. You can't pretend these events away. You have to move forward. Your husband has to decide to move forward too.

Two years after my surgery, I am a far happier person than I ever was. And in a sense I feel as though for the first time in my life, I'm me. I'm not the trish someone else wants me to be. I'm the trish I really am. If that makes any sense (just don't put me in the nut house with vicki--I'm allergic to roses!)

Cyndy, sending another your way. I was just thinking about this and thought I would tell you how I feel. We have been to hell and back and now it is time to 'recoup' that may take some time. And I really dont think we will ever forget that we HAD cancer. But one day we will wake up and it will be a memory. But a memory that has made us who we are that day. We cant go back. I have decided to have some grief counselling in the future, to help me deal with all the issues that come up when you go through something like this. I feel like I have exhausted all my inner strenght to get me to this point. I hope I havent rambled on too much. And I send my love to you x x