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Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007 Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

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  #561  
Unread 07-07-2007, 12:46 PM
Angry at the world

Hi everyone! I just found this website yesterday...wish someone would have told me about it before. It is so nice to read that I am not the only one out there with these problems. Anyway, my chief problem is my family. They see me and I look fine so they assume that I can pick up after them, do thier laundry and all the house keeping. So our house is a mess because I refuse to do anything I'm not supposed to do. They think that because I'm not working right now I have plenty of time to be thier maid. Just love that. Hello...there is a reason I'm not working. So I have just been honkerblonked at the world and I'm sure impossible to live with. I could understand if I had smaller kids but mine are 15 and 17 plenty old enough to clean up after themselves and my husband could certainly clean up after himself and maybe mow the yard or something. I guess I have spoiled them for too long. Yesterday I was so mad I actually went down to the court house and got divorce paperwork. I did do too much last week and am feeling crappy for it. So I have done absolutly nothing this week and it makes me feel good to watch them struggle.... Kinda mean I know but they deserve it for being mean to me. It is hard not to cater to thier every need but the least they could do is help me out and let me relax. I am really scared to go back to work because they will still want me to do for them as well and I don't think I will have the energy to do it all. Do other women find it as difficult to step back and make other people take care of them? I am so used to being the super mom this is really hard. Well thank you for letting me vent.
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  #562  
Unread 07-07-2007, 01:28 PM
Angry at the world

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mkstanley
Hi everyone! I just found this website yesterday...wish someone would have told me about it before. It is so nice to read that I am not the only one out there with these problems. ...... Do other women find it as difficult to step back and make other people take care of them? I am so used to being the super mom this is really hard. Well thank you for letting me vent.
Welcome & very glad you found us.

If you can, I would suggest you skim thru the postings for this thread as if I remember correctly couple other sisters were having similar problems. I believe one followed the advise of printing out post op checkpoints as well as writing a note to family. You need to find that post as I can't be sure on the exacts but I do remember it really helped the one who's family seemed (again if I recall correctly) just as helpful - NOT!

Good luck & keep the venting going - WE ARE HERE FOR YOU
  #563  
Unread 07-07-2007, 01:50 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

MKS,

Yep! I am having a terrible time with letting anyone take care of me! My hysterectomy was the 8th so I feel like I should be totally normal now, but I am listening to the gals who are saying weeks 4-6 are the most dangerous, because I am sure they are!

My kids are smaller (4 and 6) and so while in some ways it's harder (they're more dependent for some things, like my DD can't buckle her seatbelt herself) they are also more eager to help. My worst part is my DH, I feel awful for him that I am not able to do like I usually do. He has actually completely stepped up to the plate and been fantastic, which surprised me...he is usually not so good at that. Or he blusters around while doing it. But with a few exceptions, he hasn't been nasty about having to do anything at all. He freaked out (as did I) at the doctor's statement that sure, I could do stuff, and then I would rip out my teeny-tiny sutures with smaller-than-dental-floss thread holding me together and then I could have MORE surgery and be "out of commission" for even longer.

Honestly, I am struggling (ala Flylady) with the "loving myself" enough to let others do for me and to heal well. I acknowledge my issues with loving myself, and I think that's at least the first step. It's hard!



Kay
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  #564  
Unread 07-07-2007, 02:09 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

Here, Here! I unfortunately have to agree with you....on the no help....I went back to work on Monday...crawling by the end of the day. The first thing that my 15yo and 13yo have to ask when i get home is....you guessed it...what are we having for dinner and can you give me a ride to.......!

oye! Its just the way it is...we "do" for soooo long...they just don't get it! So I run past them (yeah, i wished i could run!) but I walk past them and say I'm going to lie down for a bit....and they look all blank faced and nod in surprise! They aren't used to us taking care of ourselves....but, it has to be done!

Its something that we are not used to doing either. Keep us posted on how things are going and stand firm! Oh keep venting to us! We get it!
  #565  
Unread 07-07-2007, 02:11 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

thanks for all the help ladies! Anyway I decided to remind my family that my mother passed away 5 weeks after having the same surgery I had TAH and maybe they will remember to pamper me....or maybe I will go get a pedicure or something.
  #566  
Unread 07-07-2007, 02:18 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mkstanley
thanks for all the help ladies! Anyway I decided to remind my family that my mother passed away 5 weeks after having the same surgery I had TAH and maybe they will remember to pamper me....or maybe I will go get a pedicure or something.
Oh my goodness mkstanley, your mother passed away 5 weeks after? From complications from the surgery??
  #567  
Unread 07-07-2007, 03:06 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mkstanley
thanks for all the help ladies! Anyway I decided to remind my family that my mother passed away 5 weeks after having the same surgery I had TAH and maybe they will remember to pamper me....or maybe I will go get a pedicure or something.
I would suggest you do as endocat suggested and read thru ALL the posts (yea it will take awhile, but hey--you will be sitting down NOT doing anything you are not supposed to be doing while you are reading it.)

Also please sign up to get the posts of what you should be doing & when--THEN I posted what I could do on the ice box so my family could see it. like the lady said--if you do too much (& there is not a lot we can do--even though we feel like it) then you wil be out of commission for longer---and like the site said,( even though we are released by or Drs.,)[b] it will take 6 to 12 months for us to COMPLETELY heal--& so we still will have to be very careful---I say if the family wants us to be there later for them, they have to be here now for us. Pamper the princess!!
  #568  
Unread 07-07-2007, 03:16 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

hey; mkstanley:
look at the top of the hystersister site page--in the blue information strip you will see several site options. the FIRST one is "hysterectomy checkpoints" click on it--and I would think you can even go back and read what it was you were supposed to be doing in the past. and also at first--I gave my DH (dear husband) the entire thing to read so he knew WHY it was i could not do the things i was asking him to do.

and FYI: I over did something, & lord knows what it was. but--i am back to going "potty" 12 times a day--only now I cannot hold it so well.

so you see there are many many reasons for not overdoing---not just the obvious.
  #569  
Unread 07-07-2007, 06:29 PM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

At times, I too feel like the family doesn't get it either. But my husband is a Marine and has been able to take off 5 weeks for my surgery, a miracle in itself. He has never really had to clean, do laundry or cook in the 9 years of marriage. He struggles with getting all of the food done at the same time and has agreed that though his job is tough, mine is the worst. He has agreed that he & my 8 yr old son need to start pulling their own weight around the house. It is amazing how much we really do without realizing it. I always felt like I didn't do anything but I guess I do a lot. But I hate to admit it, I miss doing the laundry, cleaning, sweeping, mopping & vacuuming the house. I am bored silly!! I can only be online for a short while, my laptop tends to make me have hotflashes!! My entertainment today has been watching my dog and puppy rough house each other. They are crazy!! MKStanley, I find it very hard to let someone do anything for me. The kicker was having my DH help me shower and dry myself for the first few days, I couldn't bend down to do it myself. That was the hardest thing to admit at the time. I have taken a vow to just sit on my butt and relax, with a walk out to my garden to tell my DH what veggies to pick everyday. Yesterday I woke up with pain in my left side from my bed. We bought a select comfort, I hate it right now. I wake up in so much pain that I have resorted to sleeping on the couch or in the recliner. Hope everyone is doing good!!! Not much more time before we can be up and about!!!
  #570  
Unread 07-08-2007, 01:29 AM
Hysterectomy dates Jun 04-Jun 11,2007

Hi donney,
I have the same thing, its because we stiffen up overnight I think from being in one position for a period of time. The trick for me is to stretch enough to not feel stiff but not to over-stretch - if you stretch too much you may be pulling on muscles or stitches etc trying to heal..........

I´m not medically trained but this is my explanation for it....you will feel a little sore on initial stretching as you loosen up a little but too much stretching should not be done...try following the post surgery exercises on this site instead as the drag with all this is we need to be so careful and I get all kinds of strange pains at all times of day that seem to make no sense but must make sense to my healing body.......it just makes it ahrd to know waht is going on and whether its ok or not!!

Take care

Sapphi
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