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Housework guilt? Housework guilt?

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Unread 06-27-2007, 02:54 AM
Housework guilt?

Does anyone else have housework guilt? At my one-week post op, the doc said "no cooking or cleaning" and I said, "ok, now REALLY what can I not do?" I'd been cooking since I got home from the castle! (I admit to some control issues, and my 70 year old mom was in town to care for my kids and me...she moves so badly I was the better of the 2 of us LOL.)

Anyway, my DH (who has been wonderful about doing stuff) is a carpenter, so he's working his butt off all day and not at a desk either, in the heat, I feel incredibly bad that he has to come home and do IT ALL.

So...I have done some laundry (no lifting baskets) and cooked, and done dishes (loading the dishwasher actually seems more painful with the repetitive bending than doing them by hand is.) I did 5 loads of laundry (with kids help) on Friday and had increased bleeding on Saturday, so I haven't done much of that since.

How about anyone else? Am I nuts? I should say that I am usually NOT Suzy Homemaker, even though I am not working outside of the house...I really don't love to clean/ this guilt is unsettling. You'd think I would be thrilled with the excuse!


Kay (who is also REALLY annoyed with insomnia!)
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Unread 06-27-2007, 03:04 AM
Housework guilt?

Yeah had the guilt think you feel you need to do more because you not suppose to. My guilt wore off and I became lazy than ever. Just enjoy your time to be pampered it will be over before u know it. The housework will still be there and it great time to teach the family new skills
Unread 06-27-2007, 06:10 AM
Housework guilt?

I have some guilt because it's my DH whose had his workload double since I'm laid up. He has no time off because there's always housework, errands or shopping to do. But then I remind myself how hard I worked keeping our household running for 22 years and just like that, the guilt dissappears!

We didn't ask for this, it's a one time shot (cross our fingers!), and it won't kill everyone in the house to pitch in.

happytoes (love the name!), do not overdo it - you won't be helping anyone if you end up hurting yourself! Take it easy - the house will not fall down around you -even if it gets so bad you'd like it to!

magiclady - love your attitude!
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Unread 06-27-2007, 10:11 AM
Housework guilt?

I have no guilt at all. Actually it is nice to see my Dh and kids pitching in and helping. It is usually me doing all of the work! It is nice to see that they can help sometimes also. Remember you need to let your body heal. If you are still bleeding you need to take it easy!
Unread 06-27-2007, 05:22 PM
Housework guilt?

Girls, I'm not doing housework because of guilt just out of wanting to make life easier for DH. Teenage sons are not doing any extra to help him and he works hard. He hasn't asked for me to help, I'm doing it because I feel ok. I'm 2 weeks out. I have taken back over the cooking, packing lunches, dishwasher duties washing and ironing. I'm only putting the washing on an airer not stretching up to a clothes line. I stripped the bed this morning and have washed sheets. DH will remake bed when he gets home. I haven't felt too overwhelmed by any of these activities as long as I don't do them all at once. If I go down hill I will know I have overdone it and stop. Do you think this is too much?
Unread 06-27-2007, 05:51 PM
Housework guilt?

I have my MIL here who "came to help". BS! I've actually gotten a little cranky. She's been great at running the kids where they need to go, since I can't drive, but she hasn't done anything else except cook dinner. Breakfast has been cold cereal, she's here at lunch - they aren't. She DID do three loads of laundry on Sunday and said "I'll wash clothes again tomorrow" but she hasn't moved the vacuum, the broom or the swiffer! There's a huge sticky spot in the kitchen, I said something to DH and he said "I'll do it when she leaves". There's the guilt for me now. He did everything while I was in the castle - she came the day I got out. She had a hyster over 20 years ago and has made several comments about how she couldn't do anything when she had hers either. My kids "help" but at 6 and 4, they can't help toooo much, you know?

Sorry don't mean to vent...I don't know if it's the guilt or the anger!

I did get a card from my aunt and she said it perfectly:
"In the scope of your lifetime, a month or two is not much time, so don't worry about what needs to get done. There is time for all of that later". Pamper yourself now, you won't have another chance!
Unread 06-27-2007, 06:32 PM
Housework guilt?

I have no guilt. My DH & DD can take care of me for a change. They keep telling me how they never realized how much I do around here & that's on top of working a full time job. They say they will continue to help out from now on. We'll see.
Unread 06-27-2007, 07:41 PM
Housework guilt?

I have some guilt. I have a 7 and almost 4 year old that can't really do much for themselves. My Dh works alot, so I have been feeling guilty even though I know I shouldn't. I'm currently trying to get over it though.
Unread 06-27-2007, 10:01 PM
Housework guilt?

didn't have a bit of quilt. i milked it good too. just have a dh, but i am his princess and i loved it. been 6 months and he still does the grocery shopping and cooking, quess i trained him well. couldn't figure out to get him to keep doing the laundry though. you should not be up first two weeks, cuss if you over due it, it will be longer for complete healing. and it will catch up to you. be pampered while you can. the housework won't go anywhere. Dh will learn to appreciate you alot more for everything you've had to due over the years. yep, milk it ladies.

tah/and everything else
severe dysplasia
Unread 06-27-2007, 10:09 PM
Housework guilt?

I LOVE THIS THREAD!!! I am on the begining of week five of a full hysterectomy and feel exactly as you do. I did the same thing and have had ups and downs. But as everyone says you have done stuff for years and it's time to let others help you! I hurt myself two days ago stupidly cleaning out the fridge, and started bleeding the next day and by today I am in pain on my left side. I pulled or tore something. Please do not be stupid like I was. Let go of the guilt and drink in the warmth and love of letting your family take care of you! If you need some reassurance you can always read the horror of doing stuff to quickly and developing scar tissue...

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