13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?! | HysterSisters
HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support and Information
Advertising Info HysterSisters Hysterectomy Support Tutorial

Go Back   Hysterectomy HysterSisters > Hysterectomy Support Posts > Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy)


HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.

Our community is filled with women who have been through the Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.

HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.

With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.

You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
join HysterSisters for hysterectomy resources and support
Reply

13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?! 13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

Thread Tools
  #1  
Unread 06-29-2001, 03:11 PM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

HI! I'M BACK, KIND OF.
IT'S BEEN 13 DAYS SINCE MY TVH/BSO, AND I'M STILL IN SO MUCH PAIN. I WENT BACK TO MY DR YESTERDAY; HE COULD NOT FIND ANY BLOD CLOTS. HE REASUURED ME THAT THIS WAS GOOD. HE TOLD ME THAT MY IC AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE HAD 2 MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERYS, IN LESS THAN 6 MONTHS, WAS GOING TO SLOW DOWN MY RECOVERY TIME. HE CHANGE MY HORMONES FROM A PATCH TO PILLS, THE PATCH KEPT FALLING OFF. I WAS WAKING UP 3 AND 4 TIMES A NIGHT SOAKING WET IN SWEAT. NOW ON TOP OF ALL THIS I CAN'T STOP CRYING AND FEELING HOPELESS. MY DH IS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. HE'S HAVING TO WORK 12 AND 13 HOURS A DAY, THEN HE COMES HOME LIKE A RAGING BULL. HE'S HAD FITS OF RAGE DIRECTED AT OUR 2 DD'S.
I CAN'T STAND WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE AT THE TIME. I CAN'T TALK TO MY DH BECAUSE HE SO IRRATIONAL NOW. HE REFUSES TO EXCEPT HELP FROM HIS MOTHER, AND IS FURIOUS WHEN I CALL HER FOR HELP. HE SEEMS SO MAD ABOUT EVERYTHING. HE IS CONSENTLY RANTING AND RAVING ABOUT THE HOUSE . HE THREATEN OUR DD'S THAT HE WAS GOING TO BURN EVERYTHING IN THEIR ROOMS THAT WAS NOT TO HIS REQUIREMENTS. HE TOLD ME THAT WE WHERE NOTHING BUT TRASH. I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE. I FILL LIKE I AM IN A BLACK HOLE JUST FALLING DEEPER AND DEEPER. I WISH I HAD NEVER HAD SURGERY. I WAS AFRAID THAT MY DH WOULD GO OFF THE DEEP END, BUT I NEVER IMAGINED HE WOULD BE LIKE HE IS. I HAVE TO MUCH ON ME I KNOW, BUT IT GETS WORSE. OUR OLDEST DH WAS DIAGNOSIS AS BI-POLAR. MY SURGERY HAS WORSEN HER CONDITION. HER MEDICATION WAS INCREASED, BUT NOW I CAN'T LEAVE HER AND HER YOUNGER SIBLING UNSUPERVISED. HER DR.S FEAR SHE WILL HURT HER. I FEEL LIKE I JUST WANT TO DIE SOME MOMENTS OF THE DAY. I AM SO DEPRESSED. I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS CRYING AND OUT OF CONTROL. THAT IS NOT ME AT ALL. I'M SURE THAT IT IS DUE TO MY HORMONES, BUT MY DR SAYS IT IS GOING TO TAKE TIME TO GET MY LEVELS RIGHT, WHAT DO I DO IN THE MEAN TIME. I FEEL LIKE MY INSIDES ARE FALLING OUT, EVEN MY SKIN FEELS LIKE IT IS RAW, CLOTHING TOUCHING IT IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING CRAZY!!! HELP!!!!
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Unread 06-29-2001, 03:28 PM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

Sounds like you really need some help!! Does your mother in law live close by? I would call her, reguardless what your husband thinks. He must not understand what major surgery you have just been through! How old are your daughters? It's hard enough to heal when everything is calm around you-- I can't imagine having an angry husband around. Please call your MIL or a close friend to come by and help--
I will be praying for you, and for your husband to CALM DOWN.
Let us know how you are doing.
Love from Les
  #3  
Unread 06-29-2001, 04:15 PM
Get some help

TK

what a mess!!! You need some help and you need it fast.

With your daughters condition is there any way that her doctor can help you with respite care for for her? You are in no position to look after her and put up with a raging husband etc etc etc. i know it sounds harsh but surely it is better for her to be cared for properly and for your other daughter to know she is safe? After all it would only be a temporary thing until you can get your life back on line so to speak.

If your mother in lw is willing to help go for it!! You cannot possibly run a household as you would normally as well as try to heal. Also is there any sort of community help available?

Your husband probably cares very deeply and hates to see you suffering as you are. LIke most men he probaly can't show it as he should!! So it comes out in rage. I know this isn't much help to you but at least you can have some idea of where he is coming form. He is not really angry at you just at the situation probably. Can your doctor(who is he so angry with !!) talk to him? Or do you have a GP that would talk to him?

I understand that your hormones are playing a part in all this and all I can say is hang in there as hard as it maybe.

Sarah
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Unread 06-29-2001, 05:17 PM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

Dear T.K.,

I'm so very sorry you are in such a bad situation with your DH, but regardless, you HAVE had the major surgery, and it is a big recovery to go through. You are going to need help to heal properly, no matter where it comes from. Of course, call your mother-in-law like the others suggested, but also call a neighboring church (if you don't belong to a place of worship) and ask if there is anyone there who could help you as a community outreach. You really have to look out for yourself here, no matter what your DH says or does. If he is so upset by everything, perhaps he should stay with a friend for awhile so you could at least have some peace...his unending rages are only going to set you back emotionally as well as physically.

This is a hard recovery, even under the BEST of circumstances. Please, please, do WHATEVER you must to get help for yourself. Call friends to help with your daughters, if necessary. But you must survive this for the sake of your girls...they need you to heal well so you can be there for them.

As for your DH, he needs to grow up and get himself under control.

My very best to you...

Linda
  #5  
Unread 06-29-2001, 07:45 PM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

I sooo understand.. Hopefully DH will not see this!! Mine has been uncontrollable in the past also.. to the point of being abusive. We were seperated for awhile, and now things are a bit better.. Please try to stay calm..the stress is not good for your recovery!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to e-mail me.. Please rest...Lots of love...
  #6  
Unread 06-29-2001, 08:39 PM
You have good support here!!

I cant give much advise but I am so praying for you! Like others said maybe he can go to his moms and she can come stay with you. Also I go to al-anon and some of the woman who have raging husbands have found it helpful to say "You might be right" to pretty much anything. This is not agreeing totally but usually defuses the situation. You cant change him but you can only work on yourself and that is healing now. Do what ever it takes. Sometimes if you are really calm it helps even though its the hardest thing to do. Use all the support here you need. Me included!!!
  #7  
Unread 06-30-2001, 09:11 AM
HEY GUYS IT'S ME AGAIN, T.K

HEY! JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT.
I STILL FEEL AWFUL, CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING DOWN. CALL MY
MOTHER-IN-LAW, SHE IS COMING TO GET MY YOUNGEST DD, AND A FRIEND HAS MY OLDEST, FOR THE DAY. MY DH HAS CALM DOWN, AND IS GOING WITH ME TO MY MD.'S MONDAY. I AM HAVING MY ML DROP ME OFF AT MY MOTHER'S. SO HOPEFULLY SOME MOTHERLY CARE WILL HELP ME. THANKS AGAIN...
  #8  
Unread 06-30-2001, 10:36 AM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

God bless your mother-in-law! And thank goodness someone will take care of the other daughter for a little while. Honey, you sound like you need a break so bad. I will pray for you, and send you {{{{HUGS}}}}. Can't imagine dealing with this with kids at home!

Most men can be insensitive jerks at one point or another in their lives. It's great that yours is going to the Doctor's with you, though. Maybe he feels awful about the way he's been behaving, and doesn't feel like he can confess to it because of his ego or something. I think most guys have very fragile egos when it comes right down to it.

When you do call others for help, I think I would tell him that it's not weakness or anything on your part, it's just that you need the support of another woman right now, and that's very true, isn't it? Explain to him that you love him, and you're not trying to shut him out, it's just that he's a guy, and this is very much a woman thing.

And I would call that mother-in-law every chance I got. She's no doubt used to dealing with him - she raised him, didn't she? Maybe the two of you together can convince him that you need help and REST!

-Kim in Iowa
  #9  
Unread 06-30-2001, 03:48 PM
13 days postop TVH/BSO HELP!!??!!?!

Tk

I am so pleased you are getting a small break from your problems.

Overnight I did think that maybe your MIL is the person to talk to your husband. After all she is his mother!!! I wonder if that is an option????

I don't believe that your husband is deliberatly insensitive but probably feels like his world has turned upside down too....I would guess he is also worried about your daughters but doesn't express it well!!!!!

All the very best to you and try and focus on yourself and getting better. If yiu are well you will be able to cope with this so much better. It does get better and in a few weeks you will feel more like yourself!

Sarah
  #10  
Unread 07-05-2001, 03:16 PM
I'M FINALLY FEELING A LITTLE BETTER

HI! JUST THOUGHT I LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I ENDED UP BACK IN THE HOSPITAL LAST SAT. (6-30-01). AFTER I GOT TO MY MOTHERS SATURDAY; I REALZIED THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO CALL MY MD. WHEN I DID HE SENT ME STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL. I HAD TO STAY A DAY ; HE REFUSED TO DISCHARGE ME TIL I WAS ABLE TO KEEP FOOD DOWN. IT TOOK SEVEN BAGS OF IV FLUIDS TO REHYDRATE ME. AFTER MY RELEASE, I HAD TO SEE HIM IN HIS OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. HE WAS PLEASE AT HOW I WAS DOING AND TOLD ME HE WOULD NOT MAKE ME COME BACK FOR ANY MORE PELVIC EXAMS FOR A YEAR. UNLESS, I HAD MORE PROBLEMS. HE GAVE ME STRICT ORDERS NO LIFTING, AND IF I HAD ANY MORE NAUSEA WITH VOMITING, I WAS TO NOTIFY HIM. I REALLY AM FEELING MUCH BETTER. I STILL HAVE NAUSEA EVERY EVENING, BUT NO VOMITING. JUST ALOT OF STOMACH CRAMPING, PAIN AND DIARRHIA (YUCK AND OWWWW) ANY BODY ELSE HAVE PROBLEMS LIKE THIS?
I WANT TO THANK EVERBODY FOR THEIR CONCERN ABOUT ME AND MY DD'S. MY OLDEST HAS A LONG CLIMB OUT FO HER DEEP HOLE THAT SHE HAS SLIPPED INTO, BUT SHE HAS GREAT MD'S. WE HAVE WEEKLY APPOINTMENTS TO HELP HER WITH HER PROBLEMS. SHE HAS A NEW PROJECT WITH ONE OF HER MD'S, THEY'RE WORKING ON A PAMPLET TO GIVE TO KIDS DIAGNOSIS WITH BIPOLAR: TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY HAVE. IT IS ALSO A WAY FOR HER TO UNDERSTAND IT. IT'S JUST A VERY COMPLICATED DISORDER, BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONCERN.

BEST WISHES TO YOU ALL,
Reply

booklet
Our Free Booklet
What 350,000 Women Know About Hysterectomy: Information, helpful hints as you prepare and recover from hysterectomy.
Answers to your questions
Register




Thread Tools

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
From This Forum From Other Forums
1 Reply, Last Reply 05-20-2010, Started By subaru2012
2 Replies, Last Reply 03-17-2008, Started By mweaverrn
10 Replies, Last Reply 02-11-2007, Started By yh43
3 Replies, Last Reply 01-31-2007, Started By yh43
1 Reply, Last Reply 03-12-2005, Started By sistasista
4 Replies, Last Reply 01-21-2005, Started By em1965
5 Replies, Last Reply 09-18-2004, Started By carrollchick
3 Replies, Last Reply 07-17-2004, Started By chelle1976
1 Reply, Last Reply 06-18-2004, Started By Anamanxs
10 Replies, Last Reply 02-04-2004, Started By chhaun
2 Replies, Last Reply 12-29-2003, Started By carrollchick
3 Replies, Last Reply 11-03-2003, Started By hysterkim
3 Replies, Last Reply 07-10-2003, Started By JudyF
3 Replies, Last Reply 10-07-2002, Started By Robo
16 Replies, Last Reply 07-01-2002, Started By kristih
2 Replies, Last Reply 10-20-2001, Started By littlemermaid
3 Replies, Last Reply 10-03-2001, Started By dawhite
2 Replies, Last Reply 09-03-2001, Started By sciaccaAZ
0 Reply, Abdominal Hysterectomy Stories
6 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - Yes HRT - Surgical Menopause



Advertisement

Hysterectomy News

January 27,2022

CURRENT NEWS

HysterSisters Takes On Partner To Manage Continued Growth And Longevity
I have news that is wonderful and exciting! This week’s migration wasn’t a typical migration - from one set ... News Archive

TODAY'S EVENTS

Calendar - Hysterectomies - Birthdays


Request Information


I am a HysterSister

HYSTERECTOMY STORIES

Featured Story - All Stories - Share Yours

FOLLOW US


Your Hysterectomy Date


CUSTOMIZE Your Browsing  


$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement


Advertisement