Surgery Tomorrow

Hi Everyone,
I've been spending alot of time on the Pre-op boards but I felt the need to come here today because I know you guys will really get this.
I'm not afraid of the surgery per say. But I'm totally terrified that they are going to find more that the Onc. is expecting. I'm trying to stay really positive and not make mountians out of mole hills. I was going to write little notes to each of my children before surgery telling just how proud, how much I love them but decided that was in some way saying things are worse than they are. Am I making any sense?
I slept in this am knowing that I had to start the all liquid day, bowl prep etc. and as I sat eating jello and drinking protein water for breakfast I just started crying and wanted nothing more than my dads arms around me. Saying it will be okay.( He died 5yrs ago)
Trying to stay strong and positive so I'm going to get off my butt and go get the finall things that still need to be done before tomorrow.
Thanks to all of you who have answered my questions and shared your wisdom and hugs.

Deb, you brought tears to my eyes! I am just a few days behind you in surgery, but the thoughts are the same. I will be writing a letter to my DD who is just about to go off to college.
I have had the same exact 'fears' that they find something else or worse in there, but I have just given it up to God.
I will be doing the living will and am an organ donor, had the talk with DH about my wishes should something go wrong, I know it rarely does, but, still you want to be prepared.
I have not been emotional with my hormones, but as the day approaches, I am getting a bit teary, and sentimental, I am sure it is some combination, of fear and stress. I for one do not know how to manage it, so I am just letting it flow as it wills.
Good luck to you! See you on the other side!

You are having normal reactions to this. When all is done, I'll bet you'll agree that the bowel prep is the worst thing you've been through, or most nearly.

If you write letters to your children, put them in a place where your husband will find them, not the kids. They might be in that place for another 40 years or so!

Even if they did find something worse than the atypical hyperplasia, it would most likely be very early and very curable just by the surgery alone. You are at a good place to be having the surgery and tossing out the bad boys that are causing you trouble before they can do their deeds.

The surgery day will be here, you'll get in the car and go. It all feels so weird. But once you get to the hospital, they are so good at what they do, so nice, and everything ticks along like it should. Nothing was scary or hurt before surgery (except that I was scared), and all I remember is lying on the table with a nice nurse and anesthesia guy asking me questions and putting on my silly hospital gear (gown, silly hat and socks). Then, it was...nothing...as in, sleeping nothingness. I knew nothing. Which is good. Then you wake up slowly, hear them saying "Debbie, you're all done! You did very well. We're going to take you to your room now so you can get some rest."

I remember the ride on the rolling bed back to my room after my hyst. I felt oh so happy. Must have been the medications. I watched the ceiling go by, and listened to my husband talk, and my adult daughter and her husband were following behind. I was bragging that the hyster. was "nothing" compared to childbirth or gall bladder surgery. Ha ha. Then the doctor added that the day after surgery I would change my mind! He was right. Then, the nice little pain killer machine was there to get me through. I eventually just got by on Tylenol.

I did have a dry mouth right after surgery, and told my husband to please be there with a wet washcloth for me to wet my mouth if they wouldn't let me have ice chips or water. I wore a hosp. gown the whole time. No time for trying to be a model. I had a robe to cover me when the time came to walk the halls.

The first outage of gas was unbelievably loud! But they had been pestering me to do it, so I was proud. The windows shook. Just don't be embarrassed. Everyone on the halls have to do the same thing!

Before you know it, you'll be riding home and you'll be in your own special place where you can get better day by day. No vacuuming unless you want a hernia.

Deb,
I'm sending all my best to you for your upcoming visit to the castle.
May you have a smooth and pain free recovery!
Rest and pamper yourself - see you in post-op


Maria

s Debbie,
you are so normal here, wondering if the diagnosis will be worse than they think. I think we all go through that here. If you want to write notes to your children (others have done that), put them somewhere so that they are only read should something happen (which it probably won't). You can either keep them or tear them up afterwards when you find you didn't need them. Sometimes, we just need to do a few things that help us cope.

Remember to follow all their directions as those are made for your benefit, to get you up and feeling better. Don't forget to pamper yourself during your recovery time.

When you are up to it and feel like you can sit at your computer, please write a quick update for us. We are ing for you and wait for your update in a few days.

s
Jane

The waiting is the hardest! Please write the letters to your kids - you will encourage them and they'll have something nice from you.

LA41950 - I laughed about your passing gas. They REALLY do want you to do it and it is something to be proud of. I was in housed in the acute care part of the castle and it's coed - the guy in the room next to me had been there for about 5 hours and a nurse came in and asked if he had passed gas. He clearly didn't understand her and so she asked again. She kept asking and finally she yelled, "HAVE YOU FARTED YET?!?" It was loud enough that just because I could blame it on pain killers I said loudly, "No he hasn't but I have!"

Dear ((Deb)) as others have said, it is very normal to fear a worse outcome, etc. If writing the letters helps you, do that but make sure the kids don't come across them as that could scare them, etc.
Most gyn/oncs will forewarn a patient if they expect something worse and with atypical hyperplasia there may be no cancer at all. If cancer should be there since you've highly likely caught it very early, the call may be a very early stage 1 which often is cured by the surgery alone.

Waiting really is the pits and you are soon to be over that hurdle and next thinking of recovery and return to normal. BTW, with the pain pumps, etc. even immediately post surgery one may have only minor discomfort; of course pain threshhold vary, etc. Pls remember to begin walking in the hospital when they give you the go ahead as it seems to help recovery. And when home watch lifting and trying to do too much too soon since as time moves one sometimes can deceptively feel better than expected and be tempted to overdue and then may setback healing.

I'll be keeping you in prayer for a complications free surgery and recovery.
s

(((((DEB)))))

You are definitely not alone in being scared about "something more." After all, none of us were expecting that first talk of "well, we found something that needs to be looked at. . ." so it's hard to get past the feeling that we will just keep getting worse and worse news.

I know you've had surgery by now and my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery are with you.

Thank you all of you. By this time tomorrow my surgery will be over and hopefully(and I'm optimistic) everything is just fine. Its time to finishs those last little things that the drink and bathroom took top billing over finished. Thanks again.