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Single women? Women who are not mothers? Single women? Women who are not mothers?

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  #31  
Unread 08-10-2007, 12:16 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by A6000
MollyPolly - That's exactly what I say too, "I can't have children." That usually leaves them feeling stupid for asking me in the first place WHY I don't have any kids at my age. Stupid questions will get short answers from me.

Indeed. Sorry for taking so long to reply to this, but it seems I have had a few days where my life has been a bit awkward...

I know I'll be grieving the loss of my reproductive system in the months to come, but right now, my focus was getting anything that produces estrogen out of my system, as I have Stage IV breast cancer with metastisis to my sternum, spine, lymphatic system. God willing, the pathology from my TAH will be favorable, but if not, I will deal with that blow when it comes. At least everything is GONE.

Wow, dunno what to say, as you have probably heard it all already.

Estrogen is a funny thing. My body makes lots of it, my cycle is so powerful that other women who are exposed to me are ussualy totally messed up by it. This means I look 17 at thirty something, but it also means I grow things. Hmmm...

All I ever wanted to be - EVER IN LIFE - was a mother. I have just realized that I AM a mother. So what if it's to a fur baby. ;-) So what if I didn't give birth to her. She's my baby regardless.

Yeah, I have a dog, who has also had a hysterectomy, mind you. I love animals... they are so neat...

Wow, I sound like a freak. LOL. Sorry.

Nah, you don't...
Hang in there honey! You will get throught this, I promise!
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  #32  
Unread 08-10-2007, 12:20 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by knitting queen
You are so NOT a freak. I have been reading these posts and am teary, because I know exactly what you mean. My doc seems to cater more to the pregnant set, too..... after my surgery, I walked the hall and ran into every cute young thing with a baby. Anyone else having tricks with your head after surgery hearing babies cry? I probably should have requested a surgical floor, but the nurses reassured me that the week before "there were lots of you hyst gals here". Not that I have to have a baby, mind you, but I felt like such a freak, and society really is constipated (!) in it's attitudes on this subject. I found so much insight from all of you here and realize I am not alone (it's just at work that I am!) I have pictures in my work "cube" of my fur baby. MollyPolly, you are brave and beautiful. I will pray for you in your battles. Tami
Fur babies are great, aren't they?

I'm sorry about your hospital stay. I can't imagine if I was in a room with a new mother or someone who was pregnant. You would think that the hospital staff would have more symphathy in putting patients in rooms, but their goal is to fill beds. They don't really care about anything else but money, unfortunately.

Funny, I read this as I sit here watching "Days of Our Lives" and there's an abandoned baby in the story, who is just precious. Makes me so angry that people who want kids can't have them, and some who do hurt them.
  #33  
Unread 08-10-2007, 01:13 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by MollyPolly
Hang in there honey! You will get throught this, I promise!
Thanks! )
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  #34  
Unread 08-10-2007, 02:15 PM
Must have the Hystercraptomy

Okay, so you must have it done. Perhaps they can save your ovaries. Then the bad side effects won't even be a consideration. I have found that without my ovaries I am more like a man. I like myself this way. I can put up with the side effects. I have my womanly sensitivity and a sincere love for other women and people in general.

But consider this. Don't you think that having children is over rated in today's society. People use them to satisfy some inner desire for all the toys and Disneyland experiences they missed - but giving all of it to them just ruins them. Yes they are fun when they are young. But they are all fun. And other people's children are more fun than your own. There is no guarantee they will be healthy, happy or that they will even like you. When they reach 14 a healthy percentage of them hate their parents, they disobey the law, and leave their families and you never see or hear from them except when they need money. They make a lot of their parents miserable.

We, on the other hand, who are not their parents, can be objective. We can be their friends and in some respect can influence their lives for the better. When they desert their parents they come to us. When they are crappy to us we can send them back to their parents.

It works for me.
  #35  
Unread 08-10-2007, 02:39 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

Wintersnow, you are so right!!

I actually believe that if I had kids and they grew up in my family I would have totally screwed them up. I am older now so I have been able to disconnect from my brothers who are a total nightmare. Knowing what I know now I am sure glad I did not bring children into that kind of an environment.

Like my spiritual friends alway tell me, everything is for a reason!!
  #36  
Unread 08-10-2007, 02:52 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

Yes MollyPolly, my fur baby will never have the police at my door and he will never be a daddy dog! So we're fine, he watches over me. My nurses were absolutely great during my hospital stay at least, one held my hand when I had my only meltdown and told me the tears and feelings had to come out or resurface as something else.... But you are right about hospitals and money, that's for sure. Unfortunately I work a job where I see parents hurt their kids a lot. It's amazing how fertile some of these people are too, isn't it? Good talking to you! Tami
  #37  
Unread 08-10-2007, 03:08 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

Knitting Queen, I am not sure what you do for your job but I have seen this as well.

I used to volunteer in the baby unit on the C-section floor of the hospital where I had my TAH. There were women there who were on bed rest trying to nurse thier pregnancies and down the hall there would be a teenage mother who tested positive for drugs and were having their babies taken away by DSS. I knew at that point I could never have kids and I could never understand how anyone who was blessed enough to have the ability to have a baby could not care to that degree.
  #38  
Unread 08-10-2007, 03:29 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

I am a court clerk. Unfortunately, it is an everyday occurence. You'd think I'd be desensitized to this by now, but I never get over it. One of these little chickies had the gall to say, "but my friend smoked pot and it didn't do anything to her baby" -it took all I had not to react. But yeah, what does God have in mind? Good thing you did with the volunteering. I should look into that; I do believe on the upside that "we" are blessed with lots of nurturing to give. But major hospitals are a big distance from here.
  #39  
Unread 08-10-2007, 03:39 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

wintersnow - Okay, so you must have it done. Perhaps they can save your ovaries. Then the bad side effects won't even be a consideration. I have found that without my ovaries I am more like a man. I like myself this way. I can put up with the side effects. I have my womanly sensitivity and a sincere love for other women and people in general.

My ovaries are safe. I am not worried. I will wait and see what happens, before I worry about that. But the surgery itself frightenes me, as I react badly to general anesthetic. But anyway...

I don't know what I will say in future to people who ask me about kids. It is awkward enough to try to explain why I do not have boyfriend of husband, without telling them exactly why. I don't fancy telling them that I have had a hysterectomy, either. I guess I just tire...
  #40  
Unread 08-10-2007, 03:41 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

Yeh, It filled my soul to help with those babies. I would do major "poopy pants" duty for four hours every Monday night then I got to leave and go home to my quiet house and my purring cat. It was nice. Plus I got to help women that were recovering from what we just went through because they were all Csection moms.

I do not ever think you can desensitize to clueless people that harm babies. How stupid do you have to be to think doing crack or heroin while your pregnant isn't going to be a problem.
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