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Single women? Women who are not mothers? Single women? Women who are not mothers?

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  #71  
Unread 09-03-2007, 10:57 PM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by A6000
Well ten days out from surgery, and my mood has not changed much. I mean, I have pain, but aside form a snide comment about how I have the happy-love-tunnel, but not the incubator, things have been very calm.

This surgery was a last resort for me, I had already tried other things, not necessarily in the name of my fertility. (That was destroyed in 2003/2004, when myomas scarred my uterus to the point of losing integrity.) But because it is my body, my precious body, and I did not want it mutilated, as it were. The anesthesia alone makes the whole procedure highly repugnant to me, and I was very right about my memory about how much I hate anesthesia... But anyway...

I just do not know. I live in a small town, in a very provincial part of a very patriarchal country, that is known for women's liberation, forward thinking, and medical/technological advances. But socially speaking, women are here to produce the next generation, marry, and eventually become grandmothers...regardless of whatever else we may do.

This is even reflected in my sick-leave. I get much, much less money than a woman who was married would get, or a woman who had children would get. I know that children cost money, but the difference is more than what children cost. It feels like a pittance, like a 'here you go, worthless, childless, husbandless half-woman'...

I really should not post when I am in pain, and in one of my introspective moods...

Honey, you can post here anytime, and certainly when you're in pain if we're your support group.


I get a certain amount of shaft because I don't have kids when it comes to pay, but that's mostly in benefits -- I'm a librarian at the university, and my kids would get free tuition, and I don't get any equivalent benefit. Parents can take off some of their sick leave for their kids illnesses, but since I can also take sick leave off when I have to care for my mother, that's okay.

People with kids, including and especially single parents get a lot of tax type benefits here, far beyond and in addition to the standard deduction thing they have in the USA. Large families really clean up, welfare and ADC can be for life, but I digress.

I was pleasantly surprised, all things considered, that nobody asked me if I regreted never having kids now that I can't. But then again, I live in the big city at that.

I'm sure if I lived in a smaller town, especially one with a large religious population, or heck, even Jerusalem I would have gotten a lot of that.

Take care, and come aboard anytime you feel you need it, + you can always PM me.

- Marian
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  #72  
Unread 09-04-2007, 02:55 AM
Single women? Women who are not mothers?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Marian Paroo
Honey, you can post here anytime, and certainly when you're in pain if we're your support group.

I'm sure if I lived in a smaller town, especially one with a large religious population, or heck, even Jerusalem I would have gotten a lot of that.

Take care, and come aboard anytime you feel you need it, + you can always PM me.

- Marian
Thanks ! :-)
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