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DH Present During My Post Op Appointments? DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

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Unread 08-16-2007, 01:40 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

Well, I made it, been a week today! I am doing fine and thank you all for your support. Had a tah but found out she left the cervix. But I have a question. My dh has been by my side from day 1. He stayed with me night and day (even spent the nights), non stop during my hospital stay. I don't know what I have done without him the night of my operation. I didn't have to buzz the nurses at all because he was there doing for me. He was there when they removed the catheter, helped me to the bathroom, (even wiped me), walked me when gas pains were awful. He has a very strong stomach because of his occupation. When we came home he gave me showers, cleaned and inspected my incision twice a day, dressed me, washed my hair, waited on me hand and foot. I had my first pre op today at my doctor's office (1 wk) to remove the staples. I told him to wait in the waiting room. When I came out he looked a little upset, and when we got in the car he said he was upset because I didn't ask him to go in with me. I think I hurt his feelings. Is it unusual for your dh to be with you for the post op visits? I have another one in 3 weeks. I see alot of men go in with their wives, but I think most of them are expecting. He says he just wants to be there until this ordeal is over. I have never had him present during a pelvic. Please help!
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Unread 08-16-2007, 02:15 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

shorewoman, I think you are a woman, like myself, who is truly blessed by having such a wonderful husband (so much of what you described sounds like mine!). Yet, I know I would still be uncomfortable having my DH present during any pelvic exam, including post-op, and I've already explained to him the reasons why and that's helped.

Your husband sounds like he was and is so invested in your health and well-being that I think he just feels deprived by not being there! If you are comfortable with him being there then by all means let him be if it will make him happy, but if not, tell him why not so that he doesn't experience it as some form of rejection. I'm afraid maybe our guys might be prone to think "Gee....she wanted me there for the hard stuff, and now that everything's okay she doesn't care if I'm there or not???". For myself, I just hate pelvic exams, always have, always will. Bad enough to have a "stranger" (doctor) go anywhere near my private parts, but to have my DH there while he does it???? I don't think so!!!! I am just not comfortable with having my DH present during the actual physical part of the exam, and what I plan to do is to have a nurse call him in AFTER the doctor gets done examining me. This way he won't feel left out, plus he might hear something I don't hear, or think of something to ask that I might not. He'll be happy, and I'll be happy!

By the way, if you haven't done so already, maybe you could consider writing a letter to your husband in the Dear Honey section of this website thanking him for all that he's done....it would sure help other husbands/BF's who aren't quite sure what they can do for their wives/GF'S! If guys did only half of what our husbands have done their women would be way ahead of the game in every aspect of their preparation for surgery and for recovery!
Unread 08-16-2007, 02:21 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?


I'd never had my DH in with me for exams until after my surgery. Now he goes with me to all of them. It was a little strange at first, but I figured he's seen me anyway and he's always been interested in what the doctor does during exams. Now, even though he still goes in the room with me, he sits facing the other way during the actual exam part. I actually like having him there just in case there's something that I forget to ask the doctor.

Like I said, it was a little strange at first, but now it's nothing to have him with me. It all depends on how you feel about it.

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Unread 08-16-2007, 02:36 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

My DH went in with me to all my appt. If you don't feel uncomfortable with him being there then you should let him go back with you on your next appt. The dr. shouldn't have any problem with it. In fact I shcedule all my appt. for Friday's because my husband is off on Fridays. When I went last Fri. for my 6 wk and they told me to come back in 3 mths. The first appt. they gave me was on Mon. My husband spoke up before I had a chance to say anything and said "No that won't work. It needs to be on Friday."
Unread 08-16-2007, 03:52 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

Your a lucky lady. Even though he has been there in every way, mine refuses to go into the room with me. I wish he would so if he has any questions he can ask. Plus, maybe he'll catch something the Dr says that I my miss.
Unread 08-16-2007, 04:20 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

Thanks, he told me a few minutes ago that he wants to see this this thing through since he has been there for me through the get go. I don't care if he goes in with me regardless what examination my doctor gives me. He said that after I get a green light, he has no desire to go to my regular check ups. I can understand how he feels, but I am sorry I hurt his feelings today. I did forget a few questions I was supposed to ask, so I guess it is a good idea if he is present. And he wants to hear the words come out of my doctors mouth instead of getting it second hand.
Unread 08-16-2007, 05:53 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

shorewoman, as I said before, you shore are a lucky woman!!!! :-D
Unread 08-16-2007, 09:38 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?


I had my DH with me at my 2 week checkup. I was grateful he was there, I was not in a state to take care of myself yet, and it was a comfort to have him there. We are blessed to have hubby's as wonderful as they are. Count your blessing!
Unread 08-16-2007, 11:43 PM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

Sounds like your Dh is a sweatheart! when Mine found out that I had a tumor on my ovary he went to the next appt
before and after my surgery... to my preops and post ops. Im so glad he was there! He stood at my head as the dr. was looking at me and asked questions and helped me remember stuff
too, good thing because I forget stuff alot!He was right there checking my belly, using the blowdryer on my tummy.
helping with what ever I needed. Your a lucky lady indeed!
Unread 08-17-2007, 01:15 AM
DH Present During My Post Op Appointments?

It sounds like we are really lucky to have DH's who are committed to seeing us through this process. It's major surgery that we have had and I think it can be quite scarey for the men as women's issues can be so foreign to them. For those husbands who wish to be with their wives pre-op, post-op, at Dr's appointments it's their way of sharing the process with us and it helps them to learn how to take care of us. I have really appreciated my DH being there at my first post op check up (have only had one so far!) as I couldn't remember what to ask the Dr and he was right there to help me to relax. He did ask me if I wanted him with me and was glad when I said yes. However, the decision is yours and if you say you prefer that he come in after he actual examination is over and then he can talk to the Dr at least he'd still feel included? Enjoy the attention - he sounds like a terrific guy!

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