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  #1  
Unread 07-05-2001, 12:05 PM
my story

Hi everyone!!
This is my first post ever!! I've been reading every single post on pre-op, post-op and cancer concerns for 3 months now. I am so thankful for this website, as I don't know anyone who has been through what I am going through. I feel like I know each of you ladies on the cancer concern board.
I have 4 small children, been in a monogamous relationship for over 16 years. In march of 99, I had an abnormal papsmear, when the colposcopy results came back, what the dr. biopsied came back benign. I had normal paps every 6 months until this march, when again it came back abnormal. During the colposcopy, the dr. told me I had the High risk HPV!!(based on the papsmear they automatically had the HPV test) Anyways, 3 areas were biopsied and 14 miserable days later, it came back severe dysplasia and Carcinoma insitu!! I freaked out!! 3 days later I had a major cone biopsy done, afterward, my dr. said it didn't look too bad, and she was pretty sure she got it all!!
About 1 week later, she called and said she was confused, the cone came back only mild dysplasia and way up the endocervical canal came back normal!!! She didn't understand what could have happened..but she forwarded the pap slide, the colposcopy biopsy and the cone biopsy to a gynecological pathologist to review. 1 week later, she called and said, good news, the cone was accurate, the pap was accurate, as for the 3 punch biopsies, who knows who's results those are, but if there were cancer it would have shown in the cone!!
But based on my high risk status, being done having children, and the absolute scare of my life, I am having a tvh on 7-16.

I know I will need to continue with paps etc.. but right now I am just scared to death!! I'm scared of the surgery and how I will feel!! I am worried about taking care of my children and getting everything done. I am very actively involved with their lives.
I'm worried about being ashamed of what I have. I am worried about being ashamed of every one seeing me during the surgery!! The worries go on and on and on!!

I am so thankful for everyone telling their stories. It helps more than I can say!!
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  #2  
Unread 07-05-2001, 12:40 PM
my story

Hi There!!!
Welcome to HysterSisters!!!
So glad you decided to post, and very happy to hear that the site has been helpful to you. It truly is a God-send and so informative.

Well...I am so happy for you that your test results were not as nearly as bad as first thought. That must be a wonderful relief for you.

As for the surgery, the waiting truly is the worst part, as you no doubt have read here many many times.
Of course you are going to be nervous, we all are nervous of surgery. Its a major operation. I don't know alot about the vaginal procedure as mine was abdominal but they say the healing time is the same for both.
As for your little darlins, is there someone you can call on to stay with you for awhile when you get home? With 4 I am sure you will need a hand with them. What ages are they?

As for feeling ashamed.....why on earth would you feel this way? You have done nothing to cause you to require this surgery. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
All the best with your surgery, and please be sure to let us know how you are doing when you feel up to posting!!! Keeping you in my prayers!!
Maria
  #3  
Unread 07-05-2001, 03:46 PM
my story

Hugs to you and welcome to cancer concerns. This is really the best place to be when you have any cancer worries whatsoever. I too, have HPV, sounds like the same one you have. There are quite a few ladies here, who have the virus.There is nothing to be ashamed of at all and no use beating yourself up about it. I blamed myself and really got nowhere. You have to concentrate on getting better for you children. Keep a positive attitude as well ,this will help you get through those hard times. It is indeed good news that the results aren't as bad as you first thought and a hysterectomy will remove all those bad cells . Waiting is the worse part of any surgery, all the what ifs.

Please remember we are always here for you, to cry with, to comlain too or just to ask questions. I wish you well in these next few days before you surgery and please do let us know how you are going Love and a big :hug : to you x x
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  #4  
Unread 07-06-2001, 05:41 AM
my story

{{{hugs}}}

It's so hard to have confusing lab results. During my walk on the path to the castle, I had one biopsy that came back NORMAL (which made no sense given the PAP results that came back). The doctor first suggested just doing the PAP again in 3 months, but I was so freaked out at the possibilities that I requested he call the GYN/ONC to ask her suggestions. So we kept going with more tests and had the TAH for carcinoma-in-situ. I'm so glad. And it sounds like you've also made a decision you are comfortable with.

It's a little emotionally uncomfortable to have a diagnosis like HPV. But, they figure about 1/2 the women out there have it anyway, most just don't show any symptoms. Like Robyn, I also tried to blame myself, but blame will get you nowhere. It's just frustrating to think that a virus that I picked up 20 years ago from ? is causing me problems. So I just focus on being healthy so I can beat it.

Don't worry too much about your children. Find someone to help you out for a couple weeks, though. You won't have the energy to care for them hand and foot. I have 6 children and even though my surgery was done during school year, they all survived (their grades did slip a little though). The time will pass quickly, and even though you'll be tired for a while (I was more tired than ususual until just recently) you'll be able to take care of them like you used to after a few weeks if you remember to take care of yourself after surgery like you're supposed to.

Best wishes for a successful surgery. Please feel free to post any questions, comments, or concerns. There's a great group of women here who are happy to help!

  #5  
Unread 07-13-2001, 02:15 PM
my story

Just wanted to wish you well with your surgery on Monday. I hope all goes well for you and that you have a speedy, uneventful recovery.

Good luck!

  #6  
Unread 07-13-2001, 02:21 PM
my story

Transplant , sending lots of love and a big from down under. When you go in to surgery , just think of all of us here , we are with you . much, much love and I hope everything goes well for you. x x x x
  #7  
Unread 07-13-2001, 04:12 PM
my story

I have the virus too, and everytime I begin to read more about it the guilt eats at me and I feel so ashamed. My surgery was in Oct of 99! I know that I shouldn't feel this way, but I do and I understand your feelings too!
As for the surgery itself, you will see that the recovery time is the same as abdominal but you will not have the external stitches so that will be easier on you. You still have to be careful and "pamper the princess" since you don't want to tear any internal stitches or risk the chance of an infection. You will need help with the little ones. Do you have someone near by that you could rely on for help? It will take a good while before you build your strength up and are able to do simple things that you now take for granted, but you have to remember that a hyst is major surgery. As long as you take care of yourself and get the rest that you need, you will do just fine. Don't worry about the pain afterwards because you will be given pain pills and most likely be put on morphine right after the surgery. Focus your attention on getting well for you and your kids. Please know that we are all here for you! I'm so glad that you found us before your surgery so that we can help you through it!!
If you need help with anything pertaining to the site itself, please don't hesitate to ask about that either!
Welcome to Hystersisters!!
  #8  
Unread 07-14-2001, 09:54 AM
my story

Hi, Transplant! I am new to the cancer concerns here but I can tell you that you have come to the greatest spot for support and encouragement. Soon your surgery will be behind you and you will continue to move forward. I'm sure your life is surrounded by the children (I also have 4 but now they are older) and can relate to when they were young....oh, my, you are so busy and can't think of your own needs. I bet you go, go, go, go! But now is time to take care of yourself! This is a bump in the road of life. Hang in there! I also send a
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