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They Just Dont Get It !!! They Just Dont Get It !!!

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Unread 09-16-2007, 12:00 AM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

I have been lurking her for some time....few years actually educating myself through the alternatives forums. Been there done that and now I am proud to say I am booked for a LAVH in December. I Need to Vent if You Don't Mind (THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR THIS )

Well I have just finished a 10 day period and I have only two periods left for the rest of my life !!!!!!

Do you find that your friends with normal periods, normal uterus' free from fibroids or other gyno conditions - that they just don't get it ?????

I suffer from EXTREME bleeding, clotting and since my ablation now I also get EXTREME pain with my periods. I literally cannot fit into any of my pants or shorts for Days 2-4 and my stomach swells out and I call myself the Beluga Girl.

My g/f called to tell me that she had booked a t-time for us for a day of golf. Well it turned out that I got my period early and the day of golf was Day 2 of my period. It was a very hot day and I was wondering how I was going to make it through 18 holes of golf without a few changes of clothes. So I wanted to cancel the outing but I hate being a party pooper and my g/f said "just wear a tampon and a pad and you will be fine. She said "That is what I do on my heavy days"!!! ARGGGGGG I could scream when I hear these words AS THEY JUST DONT GET IT that I could soak through a tampon and a pad by the time I tee-off from the second hole. I feel that sometimes my g/f's feel that I am whining and complaining when I want to back out of events on Days 2-4 of my period. Well I guess I am booked in for a hyterectomy just for the hell of it!!!! Well we did go golfing and I had to wear these sweat shorts with a tie elasticized waistband and they did not conform to the golf dress code whatsoever. We were paired up with a couple of older guys and I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I literally was in the loo every 20 minutes and I was really slowing things down for the 4'somes behind us and after 9 holes and staining my sweat shorts I really let my g/f have it and packed in my game. I told her that I literally should not even leave my home from days 2-4 and normally do not like to plan anything. She said that she had no idea that things had been that bad for me even though I have been telling her all along.

Even at home. My kids and hubby are great and all and they try and do as much as they can. But here I have been anemic for months, work 4 days a week outside of the home and 7 days a week inside of the home and I truly feel that no one really knows what it is like to bleed, be so tired from the anemia and have pain like this and you just have to carry on, be strong and it just seems that NO ONE TRULY GETS IT BUT US.

I say hats off to all of us for doing the best that we can under the conditions that we are under.

I also want to say......I have tried everything to preserve my uterus and now I can honestly say that I am ready to move on. I am going to buy myself a little white golf skort for apre hysterectomy!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!!
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Unread 09-16-2007, 01:16 AM
They Just Dont Get It !!!


LOL, you're right! Unless you have gone through it, you just don't get it!
Even my mother didn't get it. She knew that my Aunt Flo had been very heavy for several years. She also knows that I don't go to the doctors unless I am REALLY REALLY sick.

I'd been passing extra large blood clots for a week when I asked her if she could take me to the hospital. Her response was "are you sure you don't just want to go to the doctors?"

I was too ill to roll my eyes so I just mumbled a quiet " yes".

If we had gone to the doctors first, I may have bled to death.
My blood count was 3.7 when I collapsed in the emergency room lobby.

I was discharged from the hospital at 9:30pm on Christmas Eve after receiving four units of blood. I called my girlfriend and told her why I couldn't stop by her Xmas Eve open house. She said "That's OK, why don't you stop by tomorrow for a while".

I was scheduled for surgery in three weeks. I was on meds to stop me from bleeding. But I knew it was possible that I would hemorrhage again and that I needed to rest.

Every year I go to the Mummers New Years Parade in Philadelphia with my step mother. We walk and walk and walk, all day and half of the night. So, I called my step mother and said that I couldn't make it this year. She already had heard about my hospital stay. She still wanted to know why I couldn't make it!

So all I can say is "I am thankful for the HysterSisters!!"

Unread 09-16-2007, 07:07 AM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

Yes, people really don't understand completely unless they're "been there - done that"

in there! Keep telling yourself that there is relief in sight. Take care of yourself, practice some princess pampering .
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Unread 09-16-2007, 08:02 AM
No kidding

My TVH is on the 18th. We are remodelling our house and are in the middle of doing the livingroom. Today my husband is playing golf and before he left he told me if I worked really hard today, I might have the bookcases painted before he gets back. Then he will finish putting up the trim if I feel like helping.
Does he think I am going on a visit to a spa or something? I am finishing up my left visit with Auntie F. and I am tired, something he can only understand if it is him.
Unread 09-16-2007, 09:13 AM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

LOL you have to laugh about it sister in law is a golf widow and her dh would golf every weekend and she was left with the laundry, the lawns, the grocery shopping and the list goes on..... so she too took some golf lessons a couple of years ago and now is also golfing 2 times a week and has hired a gardener and a housecleaner on her hubbies tab LOL All of the best with your surgery.

Capemay.....LOL didn't make the party or the walk...... geez only 4 blood transfusions

We are getting together for a family birthday this evening and we will talk about who will do Thanksgiving and Xmas and either of my siter-in-laws had better not even think or look my way I mean I am only having major surgery I should truly be up and at it after a couple of weeks don't you think?
Unread 09-16-2007, 10:13 AM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

Hi Ladies,

I have to confess...nobody seems to understand anything about what I am enduring. The constant bleeding (more like gushing), the clots the size of basketballs, the acute pain, the mood swings, and so on and so forth. It really does amaze me, but then again, when my sister when through breast cancer (surgery, chemo, and radiation therapies) she experienced pretty much the samething as I am.

I just thank God above for this site.

Blessings to you all,
Unread 09-16-2007, 02:47 PM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

Say AMEN Sister - they all think I'm weird because I refuse to wear tampons! Not to mention they give me back aches! Finally someone who understands!

When & what type of surgery are you having? Good luck! Mine is Oct. 8th & I'm having a LAVH for that very reason - periods! I have one left!!
Unread 09-16-2007, 03:02 PM
a new mantra....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
Unread 09-16-2007, 03:08 PM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

OMG! I was just thinking about this last night and this morning. I have two roommates, who I love dearly, but I think that they think I'm doing this for the attention. Well, I'm sure you all know that I'm not. I know the feeling of scheduling something only to have to back out sometimes only hours before, cause Flo shows up at the station with all her bags.

My hematicrit went down to 7.5 earlier this year. The stage that they want to start doing blood transfusions, but they decided to put me on iron supplements instead. It's helped, but it's not enough.

I don't bleed heavily anymore. I just cramp and spot for a couple of days and then continue to cramp for another week while I gain about 5 pounds in my abdomen. It hurst like you know what. It aslo makes me wonder where all the stuff is going when I do get my period. Could it be bleeding into my abdomen instead of out like it's supposed to?

With all of this it's been hard to be my normal self. I cry at the drop of a hat, I don't sleep right, and no matter how much pain meds or type I take it doesn't relieve the pain, that I live with on a daily basis. No wonder I never feel like doing anything.

My one roommate got mad when I made a post on our forum for our Star Wars costuming goup about why I hadn't been at functions lately or even active at meetings. I let them know what was being done and when. She felt that I should keep it private and just within the "family" These people are my family, espcially since mine lives in Florida and I'm in Indiana and none of them can come up for my surgery date. I felt like I should let them know, cause I'm normally very active and participate in as many of our functions as I can.

The last straw was last night when she made a comment about she was tired of it being all about someone else and that from now on everything was going to be all about her. I felt like I'd been hit hard in the stomach. I lost my breath and about lost it.

I'm not having this done for the fun of it. sorry this is so long. I just really need to vent.

thanks for listening.
Unread 09-16-2007, 03:46 PM
They Just Dont Get It !!!

*scratching head* What??!? You mean we aren't all sitting on tropical beaches sipping Mai Tais? Huh, you coulda fooled me. *eyes rolling*

I am fortunate enough to have a DBF who really DOES get it. A few months ago he had the distinct "privilege" of witnessing firsthand the worst and most frightening episode I had. It was a Saturday, I had been bleeding steadily for 3 weeks. and that day I was tired and cramping most of the morning - nothing awful but I was not feeling my best. We went for a walk in the afternoon and by the time we got back to his place I was in alot of pain. About an hour later, I started "faucet" bleeding, just gushing with a steady stream of blood and fist-sized clots. After a while, the bleeding subsided and I went to sleep. A couple hours later I awoke in the worst pain I had ever experienced - blinding, searing pain - I couldn't cry, couldn't scream, was writhing around on the floor, feeling as though my lower abdomen was being ripped to shreds by some unseen being and that my body was trying to push everything in it out with tremendous force. I have never had a child, but the closest thing I can liken it to would be labor pains, my entire abdomen was visibly tightening up trying to force something out. The pains lasted nearly an hour and stopped as quickly as they had started. He was right by my side through it all holding my hand, doing whatever he could to comfort me (white as a sheet and visibly shaken by it). The next morning I was more sore than I have ever been, felt like I'd done 12 hours of back-to-back 'abs of steel' workouts! I went to the bathroom and passed a chunk of I-don't-know-WHAT-it-was - spongy flesh an inch thick and the size of the palm of my hand. (never did get an explanation from my doc about what had happened) Ever since that day he has been tremendously supportive, and behind me 1,000% in my decision to have my surgery, and has taken wonderful care of me afterwards

I know for a fact that my ex would not have been as concerned nor as compassionate. It was (as many here have said) "all about him." My sister gets it, she had horrible periods all her life and can relate. My mom gets it because she was the caregiver for my sister all the years she was dealing with it. My best friend gets it - her periods are certainly NOT pleasant. But you are right - women who have "normal" menstrual functions simply can't relate. They go through heir periods like they are living in a Kotex commerical! A pad or two, tampon or two - no big deal. Let's swim, run, frolic - we can do anything!! *&@^#$#%@(*#&

But we have each other - our Hyster Sisters - not all our situations are the same, but on a very important level we are all able to understand each others' feelings and emotions. This site is such a blessing!!!

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