Surgery scheduled for Tuesday

Hi there. I was diagnosed with Grade 1 Uterine Cancer a couple of weeks ago. I go in on Tuesday 30th for a complete hysterectomy. I don't think it has all hit me yet to be quite honest.

I haven't told my son yet, I will tell him on Sunday, if anyone has any advice please let me know (he is 9).

Thanks!

My son is a little older than yours, he's 15. I didn't tell him anything about me having cancer because I wanted to spare him the worry. I told him initially that I was having an operation and wouldn't be able to do much for a long time. His reaction was just "OK" - totally underwhelmed in that teenage way!

About two days before the op he asked me what I was having done. I told him as basically as I could (I'm sure most 15 yr old boys don't want to know the ins and outs of their mother's reproductive systems) and said I had to have it all taken out as it was giving me problems.

Since I came home from hospital he has been really good, making cups of coffee, changing the sheets on his bed etc. One evening he even made our evening meal, with me supervising.

I would say just tell him as much as you think he is able to understand.

Good luck

Hi Tina,

I was in a similar predicament 4 weeks ago when I was told I had a Leiomysarcoma (tumor) of the uterus. Prior to surgery I cried a great deal as I have a young family and did not know what my final diagnosis would be.

Once I got into the gyno oncologists office I also let go of a few tears and he told me it is not time to cry yet. From that point on I thought you are right I have to be strong and I went through the CT scan, blood test and hysterectomy without a tear (make sure your surgery is done by a gyno oncologist).

The evening prior to surgery they will give you a lacsative to drink. Mine was about 2 liters in the evening and a further 2 liters in the morning. It tasted very bad and I only found out later that I could mix it with lemonade (might want to check on that with your dr.). The going to sleep part was easy and when I woke up I was so groggy that I slept until late evening. I do remember my Mum saying everything was OK, the doctor said everything looked good (I asked not to have my ovaries removed unless he thought it was necessary). I was given antibiotics during surgery and nothing afterwards as the dr. said studies have found there is no benefit in giving antibiotics after surgery. You may want to check on this as it is one less thing your bowels will have to cope with.

A final cancer grade was not given until the following week when I was told it was 1a based on all the tests andsurgery. Make sure you have a lot of help the second and third week when you come out of hospital as you will feel very tired. I remember when I first came home I was exhausted after just washing two cups. Now four weeks on life is pretty much back to normal, except that I am still quite tired and have my bloated tummy.

As my dear friend said, take things one step at a time. I think that is good advice because the diagnosis of cancer is so overwhelming.

All the best of luck. Your first good result has come in.. grade 1. Please feel free to ask any further questions.

Hi Tina, Since we did not have children I defer to the other moms to advise re what to tell your young child. I am sure others will continue coming along with their experiences. You might want to avoid using the C word as it scares adults let alone children despite the fact so many great advances have been made just in recent years.
I did want to mention that doctors follow different protocols based on what they think is best for each individual patients given their paritcular cases thus your doc may want you to take antibiotics, etc. Also, the pre-op preps do vary by doctor- from taking laxatives to a pre-colonoscopy thorough cleansing. I only took laxatives and my doc did not even advise a soft or liquid diet prior to surgery but I followed one after checking with her. Pls don't hesitate to ask questions and work with your doctor to find and understand the best options for you.
It turned out I was more afraid of the surgery and recuperation than I should have been; this was partially because it was a first surgery ever for me. My pain meds worked very well - do ask for changes if needed as each can work differently on people - and I had a good recovery. I found that walking really helped to build up stamina, etc. I used an abdominal binder when I walked for the first few weeks hadasked the doc and I got one while still in the hospital- it just gave me a sense of security/support as it may feel like everything is loose in there (it is not!)
I will be keeping you in thought and prayer for a complications free surgery and recovery. Pls keep us posted as you feel up to it.
s

dear whitetiger...the ladies have given you some good advice. my kids are grown so i told them the complete truth. however, i've been babysitting my 5-yr. old niece since she was around 10 months old so she had to be told why i wouldn't be babysitting her anymore for awhile. i never used the word "cancer"...i don't know why since she probably wouldn't know what it meant anyways...i guess i felt it was a scary word. she was told that i was sick, in the hospital...when i came home i had to rest, go to dr. appts., and treatments but i would babysit again in the fall when my treatments were finished. she even told the new babysitter that i was almost finished my treatments and that i would be looking after her again...before her mom told the babysitter!!

i think you could tell your 9 yr. old son most of the truth, however, with only positive outcomes...that you will be completely better in a couple of months. he doesn't need the stress of worrying about you to the extent of it affecting his whole being at his young age...a little bit of worry is okay. this is a good time for teaching him compassion and how to help someone that needs it...just not to the point of frightening him.

good luck with everything and best wishes that the surgery goes well and you'll be back on your feet before too long. remember to pamper yourself for several weeks and don't overdo it.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am a bit surprised by the advice from the mom's I have to admit. I have always been very straightforward and honest with my son and feel a strong desire to tell him I have Cancer. I see other people with small children who tell them and the kids do amazing things like start fund raisers etc... I am not saying my son will do that, he most likely will not. But I Think kids are resiliant and strong. Now I confess I am a bit torn as to what to tell him. It has been just him and I for a long time and I really feel he deserves to know the entire truth. I don't even know that he knows what Cancer is or that it will scare him. I have been sick with Hashimoto's and then the treatments for Pre-cancer (megace) so he is used to be not being well.

I don't have to do any bowel prep, no laxatives, no special diet. And yes, it is an oncologist Gyn surgeon peforming the surgery.

Thanks for all of the encouragment!

Hi there,
My kids are 10 and 8. I didn't mention the 'c' until I had all the facts and new what my treatment and recovery would be. I knew the size of my tumor and drew it on a piece of paper so they could see how small it was. I also got a book, I forget the name, something like "when someone you know has cancer", it was a little too kiddy for them (they are pretty aware and smart) but they liked it anyway.

I got a ton of advice here and on another yahoo group.

I basically gave them the factual part, not the emotional part, I knew they would be so disappointed if I kept it from them. I also kept in contact with their teachers, who were amazing! They emailed and sent cards home with the kids, that was VERY reassuring to me, not that I wanted any special attention for them but I felt like they were surrounded by people that knew what was happening to their mom, and cared.

I am a single mom of 4 years so I have to count on others.

Good luck, take things one day at a time. Positive thoughts for you, your recovery and your son!

We don't have any children, either, so I'll defer to the wonderful ladies here who've had to confront that issue. I'd just say to listen to your heart.

I just wanted to send some hugs, prayers and positive energy your way for your upcoming surgery. Don't forget to be good to yourself and take it as easy as you can afterwards.


s
monami

Tina,

My DD's also were older so I told them of the cancer when I found out. If they had been younger, I would have waited until I knew what I was facing treatment wise before telling them of the cancer - that way I would be able to either reassure them that it was completely removed with the surgery, or that I was going to have to go through radiation or chemo or both and do my best to explain how they would completely get rid of the cancer.

My oldest daughter is kind of self-absorbed and is an adult living in a different state, so it didn't seem to affect her at all. My youngest is a very sensitive soul and she worried, alot. Only you know your son and you should base your decision on how you think he'll handle the news.

Good luck with both your decision and your surgery.

Thank you everone! Since I don't know yet if further treatment will be necessary, I have decided to only tell him about the hysterectomy for now. If i need further treatment I will tell him about it later. No need to make him worry beyond what he needs to right now.
Thanks again for all the advice and prayers and kind words!