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16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!! 16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

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Unread 11-02-2007, 06:27 PM
16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

16 weeks post op--TAH. All was good for a while. I did have a hematoma 4-8 wks. that made my life a living hell but I am good now. I have been healing and getting on with my life--so I thought. My husband is-- so he says...understanding that I just have no interest in sex. I try but I am numb inside, yes emotionally and partially physically. Dr. says that it will get better. Emotionally I have been dealing with the emptiness rather well..I thought. My sister-in-law just announced that she is having a baby again, a boy this time after 3 girls. I know that I am happy for her... But.. I feel like the bottom just dropped out of me. I am blessed with a 4 yr old and a 3 yr old but I feel like I have a gaping aching hole in my body and heart all of a sudden. This is pathetic in a way , but logically I know it makes some sense. I am healthier without my uterus and cervix but I feel like crap. Everytime I see a pregnant woman or a newborn I want to cry. This is all new to me. When will this go away, when will I feel better. I don't feel depressed just sad and a great sense of emtiness sometimes. Anyone out there feel this way?
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Unread 11-02-2007, 08:39 PM
16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

Hi Moonflower67. I cannot say that I have the same feelings as you, but I can empathize. You stated that you don't feel depressed but maybe you are. It comes in many forms. Like you said, you ARE blessed with 2 children and a (sounds like) wonderful husband. If these feeling go on for too much longer, talk to someone. I would hate for you to try to ignore your feelings, but there does need to be a balance. You are not a empty being, but a strong woman who got through a hard time...even without the hematoma. Be proud of what you have accomplished. Please remember, nothing lasts forever, these feelings will diminish over time. Your heart and mind need time to heal too.

I hope this helps, nosey
Unread 11-02-2007, 09:14 PM
16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

Hi Jennifer, my heart goes out to you. We are women and our deepest nature is to have our babies. Not so long ago, when a woman had to have a hysterectomy, it went without saying that she would have a long period of depression and sadness over not being able to have anymore children.

Nowadays, it seems like no matter what happens to us, we are supposed to be all happy and perky right away. "Closure". How many times have we seen TV programs about parents who lose a child for instance, and everything is supposed to be about "closure"? NO! Those people will never get over it. It's like we're supposed to grieve on a schedule that the "experts" decide.

I remember when I was a little girl, my aunt had a hysterectomy and she cried for a year. The grownups didn't think she was messed up... they accepted it as part of the sadness she was going through. I'm 55, so this was back in the early 60's. People seemed to not expect others to be superheros back then.
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Unread 11-03-2007, 04:49 AM
16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

Hey there Moonflower67,

I can completely understand how you are feeling.
I have 3 young children and Dh and I had already decided we didn't want anymore kids, I even had my tubes tied, but having the hyst has taken away my choice of ever having another baby, a T/L can always be reversed!

I felt at peace with my decision to have my hyst, but now when I see a pregnant lady or new born baby I do feel a sense of loss and sadness, I didn't expect to have these feelings.

Nothing lasts forever, I think feeling down and possibly depressed is all a natural part of the healing process.
Unread 11-03-2007, 01:59 PM
16 weeks post-op, not so hellish today!

Thank you all for reminding me that I'm not pathetic with regards to my feelings. I do feel better and stronger every day, these sudden feelings just took me by surprise. I suppose I am somewhat depressed. Logic and emotions about having a hysterectomy have not met up harmoniously with each other yet I am a very blessed woman though.
Thank god for this website!!
Unread 11-03-2007, 06:45 PM
16 weeks post-op--OH Hell!!

Jennifer, I think what you are going through is perfectly normal for us. I am 52 yrs old, I have 5 grown children, ages 33-25, and 7 grandchildren with 1 on the way. A few weeks after my hysterectomy, I was telling my friend that I lost my water (I had a bottle of water somewhere)and he said to me, "Oh no, she lost her water, here comes the baby!" I cried! He was trying to be funny and really had no idea what he said wrong, but in that split second, it hit me. I wasn't going to have anymore babies! I had already gone through menopause, had been post-menopausal for 3 years and still it hit me like a truck--NO MORE BABIES FOR ME!!!

It's something we could do that has been taken away from us. We think we are less of a woman because we can't do that one thing now. BUT, we are still that fabulous person we were before surgery, we just can't give birth anymore. We are still nurturing, we still love as much as before--we are woman, hear us roar.

's Deb

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