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Re-entering the "real world" Re-entering the "real world"

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Unread 11-04-2007, 05:40 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

Just wondering if anyone else has the "I don't want to face the public" feeling when it's about time to be out and about again after a hysterectomy.

I know that this surgery is nothing to be ashamed of and that the relief it will provide will be more than worth it in the long run. I'm not "down" about it... just feel kinda strange now that I'm about to re-enter the real world.

DH has been great.... couldn't ask for more love & patience. He's been "running interference" for me at church, etc. All of his friends know.... and, just like men, they don't make a big deal of the "female surgery thing". I think most of them had really rather not know too much. But I get the feeling that even DH is a little uncomfortable with "what to say" etc.

Again... maybe it's the hormone / no hormones thing acting up. I'm sure it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be.

Am I the only one who's apprehensive???

Thanks for all of your sweet support and understanding.

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Unread 11-04-2007, 06:10 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

Hi Dinkum,,,,,,nope, you're not alone. I have been almost 2 weeks since my TAH. Not really feeling ready to face the real world either,,DH has offered to take me out for a short drive, or a trip to pick-up afew groceries with him, but I am more comfortable in my nightie with my books right now.
I am 51, have NO issues with the type of surgery I had to have done,,,especially since cancer was a determining factor. I think we are just still in need of "recovery time" and our bodies are telling us we are not ready. I have however broken into tears afew times this week over nothing,,,,,which is NOT at all like me, So I'm sure the adsence of hormones and overys are coming into play. Be patient with yourself,,,this too shall pass......just like the gas! poetry!
Best of luck,
Unread 11-04-2007, 06:10 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

I can appreciate your apprehension about facing the world now that you are on the other side of the surgery. I had intentionally limited the number of people I had informed of my upcoming surgery because I didn't want everyone to give me their unsolicited opinions about my decision or hear their horror stories about how "it's not all it's cracked up to be". Further, I wasn't sure how I was going to respond to the grief I would get for not telling everyone about it and having to listen to their stories afterall once it was said and done.

When you feel up to being around people, the first few times, have your husband with you for support and ask him to guide the conversation away from your "health report" if you don't want to talk about it.

I think what you'll find is that people will tell you how good you look and will not know that you've just had major surgery. You will be able to get through it and find your new 'normal'.

Best wishes!
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Unread 11-04-2007, 06:12 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

I have heard this from other people. Two of the reasons I have heard were avoidance of ignorant comments from people and not wanting everyone to think you are fine and ready to resume all regular activities before you are able. People warned me that the more people see you in "normal" situations the more they will expect from you and start to think you are milking it before long. Even though of course you are not! Don't feel bad other people have felt this way, and really you should be resting unless you feel up to more anyway.
Unread 11-04-2007, 06:15 PM
Re-entering the "real world"


Thankfully I'm not dealing with the gas issue anymore... at least not constantly. And, I'm sure you're right.... this too shall pass. I appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in thinking this way.


Unread 11-04-2007, 06:28 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

More good advice!! Thanks so much for the understanding and encouragement.

ladybug78... I like your idea of letting DH "break the ice" for me. He's been great at caring for me thus far... and I know I've really nothing to fear as I cross this bridge either.

mrswillie... I think you've really hit upon something with the "dress normal = back to normal" theory. I'm finding that to be the case even with my immediate family. As long as I'm hanging around the house in sweat suits or night gowns... they don't expect that much. But the one day I "spiffed up a bit" it seemed like things were "mom's back! Business as usual" Uggggghhh!

I'm a perfectionist at heart and letting things get behind is a challenge... but the other side of that is that as a perfectionist I should also want the most perfect healing possible... soooooo..... delaying the real world stuff probably isn't such a bad idea after all.

Maybe I do need a bit more time.....


Unread 11-04-2007, 06:33 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

I'm glad to hear that I am not alone in only tell a select handful of people about my surgery. I did not even tell my mother (89YO) only because she would harp on it every day. I really did not need that. I told her caregiver, a couple of women at swimming, my sister and a cousin in-law. My sister blabbed it to my male cousins in Florida. One of them have already called wishing

me well. I did not go into any details with him other than I can't sit down well. His wife had her hyst a few years ago and I think he understood.

We have a party to go to next weekend. It will be interesting to see how that goes. If I am not up to it I just won't go.

My doctor said to listen to my body and if something did not feel right, then don't do it. I am going to include emotions in that department.
Unread 11-04-2007, 07:42 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

While I understand your apprehension, I'm a more in-your-face kind of gal where this is concerned. I work with three men (it's just the four of us), and went back to work on the 22nd, a week after my surgery. When I threw the PE that day, those guys were my saving grace. I said "chest pain" and they dropped everything and drove me (and my car) the 30 miles to my hospital. When I came back again, I had a couple good days and then another really bad day, when I just laid on the couch in the next room, napping, for three hours.

I'm normally insanely active, and those guys know it, and when I started fading those few days, they just left well enough alone. And when I said I wasn't well, one of them asked if I was suffering with discharge -- I'm sorry but that just made me laugh my fanny off.

I know everyone is different. You are so completely entitled to feel however you do. When I've gone to the store, I've asked the bagger to bag extra light and said I couldn't lift more than five pounds, and would someone be kind enough to help me to my car. I didn't care that I was dressed for work and looked well, because I know I'm recovering.

Life on the "outside" will be as kind to you as you ask of it. Don't be shy -- remember, a battallion of nurses and doctors kept asking you if you've been passing gas regularly!! I know I'd personally rather say "hysterectomy" in public than pass gas (of course I've been doing that too -- motoring myself through my errands!!)....

Either way, you are you. Your recovery is your own. Your feelings are your own, and they are 100% valid and NORMAL. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and know that we all care and whatever you run into out there, you can always bring it HERE for discussion.

All my best to you,
Unread 11-04-2007, 08:38 PM
Re-entering the "real world"

Thanks Dina!!

I really need a good dose of your "spunk".... You're so right about our "condition" being exactly that... OURS!!

Your encouragement may have given me the boost I needed to just "be" and not worry about what the rest of the world thinks about it. Oh that I were that self-assured.... It's an attitude I can work on while I continue to recover and prepare for life back in the real world.

I so appreciate your insight.... and pray the best for you as you continue your recovery...

Unread 11-05-2007, 04:44 AM

Hello everyone. I had my total abdominal hysterectomy on 15th October. I am feeling very well now even though i know things are still not healed inside. I wondered when everyone started driving again??

I am so **"**^*^ bored!

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