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I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves! I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves!

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Unread 11-26-2007, 12:47 AM
I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves!

OK, a year ago a doctor who is "Dr. Sensitive" blew me off. I was flipping out in his office and making stupid jokes and just being a ditz (I am still not over it, but just being acknowledged here has helped me) and was a mess. His nurse was standing behind him, rolling her eyes at me while I tried to trouble shoot my extra bleeding issue and I was just upset that she was looking at me while he worked on me-- they CAN avert their eyes! (I don't work out any more because I cannot stand being looked at when I change clothes after I work out.) I think a lot of last year's problem was that (as Dr. sensitive was aware) that my dad was dying of something and we didn't know from what and I was terrified of my own symptoms. My greatest fear at the time was that there was something wrong with me and that I'd be put into chemo or something and I'd not see my dad before he left us. I was in tears over getting a mammogram and it was just one stupid thing after another.

When I'd been pregnant I'd heard a couple of his nurses giggling about another patient, "She thinks she is going to diiiiiie!" It doesn't matter if a patient heard that-- it should have *never* been said! If they want something funny to relieve stress they should read something funny!

I am so glad to read that other women are as weirded out as I am about having someone shave us "down there" or various concerns about things of immodesty. I don't care how much nurses see, my body is still my body and they honor me and I honor it by having those boundaries. I am not a prude; I've posed for boudoir pics and I am a dancer, so I think my "modesty issues" go deeper. I am not normally shy. Maybe doctors place themselves so much higher than patients. They can cut with a look and don't need a scalpel!

If you've read my other posts, my new Gyn is a guy who only does Gyn. He's a third generation MD. I have a large family and saw him between pregnancies. When I went back to him this time, he gave me a side hug and said he laughs with me because I tell funny stories, but he would never laugh *at* me or any other patient. (This is the Gyn who gives patients chocolate!) When I discovered that I weighed more than ever, I was being goofy, "I love my curves." Later I told him, "I'm not happy with my weight." His eyebrows shot up, "Tell me something I don't know. You still won't turn down my chocolate."

I am studying for a massage therapy license and one of the things we are grilled on is proper draping and respect for our clients. We KNOCK before we go into the room after the patient has undressed, we are trained to read body language and how to respond. Do doctors get this training? I've had female doctors be like, "Whatever " on my shyness and it's really the women medical people who I've experienced being callous. I can fail my massage license test if I don't show proper deference for dignity. Does anyone else feel that doctors are callous about this? I worked as a cashier at a SuperMart a while back and "having a bad day" was just not an option and for what doctors and nurses earn, I don't think it should be for them, either!
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Unread 11-26-2007, 01:01 AM
I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves!

WOW! That is absolutely horrible! I'm surprised you didn't him! I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest!
I hope you're in search of a better doctor! I wish you all the best
Unread 11-26-2007, 01:03 AM
I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves!

I have had several of the doctors who just seem not to care about what we as patients think.I have allways hated being treated like a lab rat and that is what it feels like when you have 2 or 3 sets of eyes looking at you while you are being examend.I am a nurse in the army and we are taught and re-taught that you dont EVER enter a room with a door shut with out knocking first.Even in iraq when we didnot have doors we had curtins and allways asked if it was ok to come in before we did.that is just the right thing to do!I have a wonderfull gyn know that is very thoughtfull.When I first met her it was because I was in the hospital and none of the docs that were treating me could find the cause of all of my lower abdomen pain.She came in to do an exam and when she told me what she was going to do I must have turned pale or something because she asked me what was wrong.when I told her that I had allready had 10 pelvic's in 10 days and that having them done freaked me out anyway she stopped what she was doing and asked me why they freaked me out.when I told her I don't like everybody staring at me and acting like I was not even there,She told all but one nurse(Who was female)to leave the room and she had the nurse stand up at my head to talk to me while she was doing what had to be done.She also covered everything but the area she was looking at with blankets instead of those little paper sheets you get.She was the first doc that ever did that for me and I can't tell you the diffrence it made.
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Unread 11-26-2007, 07:45 AM
I am Delighted to Realize. . . the Nerves!

I have never gone to a doctor who didn't knock before entering a room where I was waiting. All of my nurses, both in the hospital and in the doctor's office, were very professional. I don't think anyone likes to be shaved before surgery, but the nurse who did mine showed no disrespect. It's something that had to be done, and I accepted that. Most doctors and nurses are very caring and sympathetic to the patient. I'm sorry yours wasn't.

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