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Relations delayed, anyone else? Relations delayed, anyone else?

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Unread 11-30-2007, 05:38 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

My doctor originally told me to wait 8 weeks before having sex, but today, at my 2 week post op visit, she said to wait 8 more weeks. I had an awful lot of work done, including a rectocele repair, so she wants to be sure that everything is healed. I'm disappointed, BUT when you really think about it, isn't it better to heal, and not risk the chance of ripping something that may require additional surgery? My doctor is much like yours, a surgical genius but almost no bedside manner. Luckily, I don't need a lot of hand holding, and I go into her office with a list of questions. Take care of yourself, and don't push your healing.
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Unread 11-30-2007, 06:27 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

Originally Posted by adecoder
He said when we do start relations, try not to go too deep as to be cautious for awhile as not to open up the stitching. My doc was not one for answering many questions. I asked a couple, he answered them and said, Ok, no more periods, no pap smears, Ok, now you go. You're done.
IMHO your dr sounds so vague(sp) when explaining things. He really does have bad bedside manner. I don't know about you but I like a little more explanation then that. One big irritation to me is doctors who rush you through your visit. You wait so long to get questions answered and then you leave still feeling a little unsure and by the time you go home you have questions again. I am sorry your doctor rushed you and sent you on your way thats crazy!
Unread 11-30-2007, 06:27 PM
Me, too!

Hi, I had my 6 week post-op (TAH/BSO) on Tuesday and my doctor put me on 2 weeks of "pelvic rest" (a polite way of saying 'no sex'). Just like you, she said that my vaginal cuff had not completely healed either and that when we do resume it should be very gentle and not too deep at first. My husband was with me and he was very understanding. I have been very careful the last 6 weeks but I guess we all just heal at different rates. I'm so thankful to have such a loving husband. s to you
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Unread 11-30-2007, 06:58 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

My Dr. checked me at 4wks. He told me I was still tender & needed a little more healing but I should be OK in another week or 2 as far as 'relations' go. It's hard to wait but I rather be safe than sorry...
Unread 11-30-2007, 07:13 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

Sorry you've had a setback. It's difficult, but of course your health is the most important thing. You do have the rest of your life to be intimate -- in the grand scheme of things, a couple of weeks isn't really that big of a deal.

I was given clearance at my 6-week checkup, but dh and I waited until more like 8 weeks. We just weren't "ready" until then. Remember, it isn't like turning on a light-switch -- it's a very important moment, and there's no point in doing anything intimate until *both* of you can enjoy things.

First the doc says it's OK to try, but then you and dh need to have it "feel right" emotionally before you try.

Many wishes for continued healing.
Unread 12-02-2007, 02:32 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

At my 6-week post-op appointment, my doc didn't even do an exam. Since I had to have a second (emergency) abdominal surgery 3-4 weeks post-hyster, he said he wouldn't even look until December 26th, so that'll be 10 weeks for me too (if he agrees to it at that point -- that's just going to be his first go of it).

So yes, no Christmas Nookie for me either....
Be well and HEAL!
Unread 12-05-2007, 01:38 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

I wish I could trade with you because I actually was hoping for a delay. Instead the doctor told me I only had to wait 2 more weeks (so 6 weeks post-op). My stitches haven't even dissolved yet and everything is still quite sore in there, so I'm just not even ready physically or mentally for "relations" and I doubt that is going to change in 2 weeks.

All I can say is bless your hearts those of you who are ready, willing, and eager. I hope the weeks go quickly for you!
Unread 12-05-2007, 03:26 PM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

Argh!!! I'm counting down the days. My six week visit is next Wednesday and I'm hoping we can indulge in some fun afterwards. My DH has been great in waiting, but I'm getting very anxious. I will just DIE If she makes me wait longer!
Unread 12-06-2007, 05:47 AM
When to resume?

My 6wk check is next week... DF is very hopeful, especially since I had my period the week before surgery, so that will be seven weeks for him.

In truth, he has been an angel through my recovery, but on this one subject he has been almost annoying - so I could stand to wait! That is just the meany in me... But I am still so slow moving right now, that I am afraid to jump in (and that is not like me).

So we'll just see what the doc says, and how I feel ('cuz it's my recovery, after all)... And it is just like a previous poster said... we have a lifetime to make up for a measly few weeks.
Unread 12-06-2007, 07:02 AM
Relations delayed, anyone else?

My hubby is chomping at the bit too! He keeps saying 4 more weeks, etc. like it was a countdown or something! I keep telling him in response, "we'll see!" I have told him that everyone heals differently and that I had been through two surgeries! He got lucky in between because they hadn't gone in vaginally the first time so he got a quick one in before the second surgery. I think he got quite the awakening though when they went in for the second surgery and found that I was already bleeding from the endo and a new cyst had formed on my other ovary!! He knows that when I am good and ready we'll resume...of course AFTER we get clearance from the doctor. I don't see her until 12/ I've got a few more weeks to heal yet! Yup, no Christmas nookie either for me! LOL! Hubby says we will be ringing in the New Year with a bang! Yeah right...only if I feel up to it will we!!!

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