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"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!" "I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

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Unread 12-09-2007, 01:51 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I had my TAH/BSO on 11/23. I work at a MAJOR dept. store/retail, I am a customer service supervisor, have been with the company for 27 years. Nov. 23rd, was the day after Thanksgiving, "Black Friday"! I could not get any other date for 2007. In fact my Dr was off, that's why he did this on this day. Doctors orders 8 weeks off, return 1/17/2008. It was cheaper for me to get this done this year. Since my deductible is paid, and have been in the hospital prior to this, the most I'll have to pay out of pocket is $2300. If I would have waited until 2008, I could be paying over $5000. Everyone is telling me take care, can't waite to have you back! But, I can just hear the talk in the lunch room-what a convenient time to have her surgery! Does anyone else feel guilty? Let me tell you all, I am bored to death. I would rather be at work, than laying around all day!
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Unread 12-09-2007, 01:56 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I don't feel guilty at all, although I don't work in the retail industry. Frankly, as far as coworkers go, there probably isn't any such thing as a "good time" for you to be gone for an extended period of time. The most important thing to do is take care of yourself & not worry about anything else - - - especially not work. Hang in there.
Unread 12-09-2007, 03:30 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I have a similiar situation with the insurance, and there is no one in retail or any other work that would wait and pay double out of pocket if they could prevent it. If you have been in retail for 27 years this is one of the few so called relaxed Christmas season you have had. Relax, heal and enjoy the time off. You will make up for it next year.
If you wanted you could have a special lunch or treat delivered to that breakroom on Xmas Eve and all they can say then is how nice of you to remember them at work. I remember working retail in college what sore feet I had during Christmas season. Please relax and heal.
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Unread 12-09-2007, 04:12 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I had a similar problem myself. I work for the local school district and I ended up having my hysterectomy on May 18th, two weeks before school let out for summer vacation. I had been very sick the entire school year and it wasn't until a physical the first of February that I learned just how very anemic I was. I was put on high doses of oral iron by my primary physician, but it wasn't enough. I ended up being referred to a hematologist (blood doctor) for treatment. My iron was so low that it would not have been safe to do my surgery. My physician started me on a 4 week round of IV iron treatments and he said that that should hopefully get my numbers up where they should be. It unfortunately wasn't enough. I was losing more than they were putting in me. I started a second 4 week round of the IV iron treatments and that brought my numbers up into a safe range. I wanted to put my surgery off until summer vacation, but the hematologist and my gynecologist said it would be best to go ahead and do the surgery immediately while all of my numbers (iron, hematocrit, hemoglobin, MCV, ect.) were in a good range, so I ended up having my surgery two weeks before school let out for the summer. I remember going in to talk to my supervisor, the principal, and you could tell by the tone of her voice that she was not happy with me. I know for a fact that there were a few of my coworkers who were talking negatively about me and my decision to have the surgery when I did as well. It really bothered me at first, but the more that I thought about it, I realized that for once I needed take care of myself and not worry about what others thought. I know it may not be easy, but you need to take care of yourself and not let what other people think or say about you affect you. I found that its times like this that you find out who your true friends are. Hope you are feeling better!
Unread 12-09-2007, 04:38 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I understand that you would rather be at work...most people don't believe that. I just had a TAH on Dec.5th. Most people grumbled that I was having it at the wrong time of the year. I Work in our school system. I am also a single mom(even though my kids are 18 and21) and I am the caregiver of my mom. Having my surgery now allowed me to have my college aged daughter and son home to help,it allowed me not to have to use all my paid sick days, and my insurance paid all but 230.00. I wasn't exactly happy about doing the surgery during the holidays.But we as women have to think about ourselves every once in a while. My co workers have been very understanding even though me being out will put them working one short in our department.I very seldom miss work and that has helped me save over 59 paid sick days.I decided I needed this since I was very anemic and received 4 pints of blood last time I was in the hospital. I started out feeling guility but I already feel so much better and I am only 4 days post op. Take care of yourself and let work take care of itself. God Bless you and my prayers are with you...Faith
Unread 12-09-2007, 05:37 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I don't feel guilty one bit. I've been on my job for 22 years and have covered for everyone under the sun for that 22 years. I've never been off for more than a week ever. I deserve the time off and I'm gonna relish it, yea!
Unread 12-09-2007, 06:37 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I can understand your feelings cacarter. You know, it is possible that they are not even giving the time of year a thought.

I am in the wine business, so I sell to restaurants and retail stores. Like you, this is my busy time of year.

My surgery was scheduled for mid-September. Well, that was fine, but it did push recovery into busy season and meant that I could not life until January. A case of wine weights betewwn 45-55 pounds. At the time I was lifting anywhere from 75-100 cases a week. So, this put a large burden on our warehouse people and drivers. They had to do their jobs and pick up where I was unable to function.

Not one complaint. In fact, one of the drivers came to my house to pick up paperwork and another brought a couple of cases of wine to my house so that I could have my accounts come over to taste wine, since I could not get to them. I am paid by commission, so no sick pay. If I don't work, I do not earn a living.

Anyway, do not feel guilty. You did not decide the surgery date. You did not choose to need surgery. You task now is to simply take care of yourself and heal properly.
Unread 12-09-2007, 09:38 PM
Now, I couldn't care less what others think!


I must admit, when I was diagnosed I felt bad that someone had to cover my responsibilities at work. I was to begin a new project, so I also felt the surgery was a set back for me. My boss assured me that I had proven my value to the team, there would be a project for me when I returned and that I should focus on my recovery. I appreciated his statements, but had a little trouble buying into it.

As time went on and I had to push people to sit with me to be trained, I came to the realization that people move on from jobs all the time and don't consider the feeling of those they leave behind. Why should they? Not to be callous, but we must look out for our best interest, especially if it is not our intention to hurt others.

We have all had major surgery, by necessity, not choice! We have all experienced concern, anxiety, discomfort and a level of pain with our individual procedures. I did not ask for this, it happened to me, anyone who is angry with the time I've had to take off work, I wish they would wish for two massive fibroids, I wish they would wish for a partial hysterectomy, I wish they would wish for a nine inch incision. I wish they would wish for the recovery. Do I feel guilty? I don't have time for it and neither should you. When you feel great and can return to work, please do, if you want. If you don't return to work when you are physically able, then you are entitled to feel a little guilty.

40 years old. SAH - two fibroids (6 mos. & 5 mos. fetus sized). 9 in. vertical incision
Unread 12-09-2007, 09:50 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

As the other (((sisters))) have said so well, this is about your health. There's never a perfect time to do something like this (no matter what anyone tells you ). There's always a vacation, a holiday, or a work deadline looming. Or someone gets married and wants you to fly halfway across the country. Or..... pick your thing.

I sure know how you feel. I had my surgery a couple of weeks before my ds's birthday, and my MIL was *aghast* that I wouldn't be able to host a party for him. (You know, I think he survived the trauma of having his grandma host his 4th birthday party. )

Do try to remember that, if indeed your co-workers are harboring resentment about this, that it's their problem, not yours. You have valid reasons for having this surgery when you did, and they don't deserve an explanation from you. You did what was best for your health and for your finances. You certainly didn't ask to be scheduled on the busiest day of the year.

I wish you continued good healing. Oh, and just for your own peace of mind -- try to avoid "visiting work" before you come back for real. Sometimes fellow workers interpret these visits as a sign that you're 100% recovered, which you won't be for a while.
Unread 12-09-2007, 10:02 PM
"I Can Just Hear the Talk at WORK!"

I have some definite guilt over being out of the office - and stress because I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to stay out. My company has a small office - there's only 3 of us in the admin department, and my supervisor (owner of the company) has plans to go home to CA for the holidays to be with her mom, since her dad passed away a few months ago. Now her plans are contingent upon whether or not I can be in the office for a couple of hours a day starting 12/19 (when I'll be just starting my 3rd week post-op). The last thing I want to do is ruin her holiday plans - especially given that she had a family loss, she has every right to be home with her family. But I also have every right to heal properly and not rush things. It's complicated by the fact that I don't have disability coverage, but the company is being kind enough to cover my salary 100% while I'm out (I wonder if that might wear thin, though, if I take longer to recover than they hope). I don't even have my 2-week post-op appointment until 12/19 in the afternoon - so I won't even know if the doctor will give her blessing until my supervisor will already be in the air.

The company is making reasonable attempts to accommodate me, and provide options for working from home (including setting up remote access on our servers & my office desktop - I just have to get my laptop in for the software to be loaded somehow), but what I'm going to run into on 12/19 is the sheer need for someone supervisory to be in the office part of the day since the 3rd admin staff member is new to the company, as of the end of October. She's getting a training trial-by-fire right now! She'll still need some supervision, as well as some relief at lunchtime so she can take a break during the day. They're not even expecting a half day out of me - 2 hours a day would suffice - so I keep thinking, "Oh, you can do this." But what if I can't?

I'm going to feel loads of guilt, though, if I screw up my supervisor's holiday plans.

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