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Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood... Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

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  #11  
Unread 12-22-2007, 10:14 AM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

Hi Tam,

Happy Birthday! OR BELATED BIRTHDAY!

I am sorry that your DH was so insensitive ... Mine doesn't even remember mine anymore


I hopeyou realize that this birthday you didn't just get older, but you have begun a brand new wonderful time of your life


Your body is healing and you are begning a new year of life and of discovery.

don't be too dishearted,or dissappointed with DH. Men deal with things different than we do... and unless he has been fixed there is no way he could begin to understand what you are feeling... He has emotions right now that he is trying to deal with as well.

hope your day was not to bad.
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  #12  
Unread 12-22-2007, 10:40 AM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

I actually laughed out loud at the quote from your card! I'm sorry you were disappointed and hurt. Certainly he didn't intend to do that.

I was so ready to do something other than think about me after the hyster, I would have welcomed the comic relief. The truth is, we ARE more interesting to the medical profession! We are women!

Happy belated birthday and I wish you many more wonderful days free of pain!
  #13  
Unread 12-22-2007, 11:16 AM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewelleeannea
Hi Tam,

Happy Birthday! OR BELATED BIRTHDAY!

I am sorry that your DH was so insensitive ... Mine doesn't even remember mine anymore


I hopeyou realize that this birthday you didn't just get older, but you have begun a brand new wonderful time of your life


Your body is healing and you are begning a new year of life and of discovery.

don't be too dishearted,or dissappointed with DH. Men deal with things different than we do... and unless he has been fixed there is no way he could begin to understand what you are feeling... He has emotions right now that he is trying to deal with as well.

hope your day was not to bad.
Thank you for your bright & cheery response! I love your perspective on starting a new, wonderful stage of life.

  Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybug78
I actually laughed out loud at the quote from your card! I'm sorry you were disappointed and hurt. Certainly he didn't intend to do that.

I was so ready to do something other than think about me after the hyster, I would have welcomed the comic relief. The truth is, we ARE more interesting to the medical profession! We are women!

Happy belated birthday and I wish you many more wonderful days free of pain!
Thank you!

I think you actually hit on what the card itself made me feel - I didn't need another reminder, I wanted to think about something else!
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  #14  
Unread 12-22-2007, 11:17 AM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

Just wanted to add, in response to everyone...

I think, above and beyond the card itself, I was most puzzled by DH's impersonal sentiment as he signed off on it. Not so much as a "Love" in there.

"Happy birthday & speedy recovery?!?!"

Ah well. He's a man. He thinks differently.
  #15  
Unread 12-22-2007, 12:22 PM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

Quick....give us his e-mail address so we can educate him!!!! JK of course...wouldn't he get an earful!??!
  #16  
Unread 12-22-2007, 01:44 PM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

OK, I must be in a good place today, because I thought it was funny. Ask me tomorrow, though, and I'll probably be appalled, LOL! I do think the signature and lack of gift was a bit disheartening. Plus, if it were my birthday card, I don't know that I would want like that this year.

I think guys try and use humor to deflect reality. My DH does that all the time. Sometimes it works, but often it falls flat (although his guy-friends always crack up at what he says). I think it's a Mars vs. Venus thing.

By the way......HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
  #17  
Unread 12-22-2007, 02:25 PM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

You need to tell men exactly what it is you want them to do. If you want him to go out and buy you a biggest box of chocolates then tell him. Men are in capable of giving us what we want when we need it.

Tell him to get a nice mush card and say he is sorry and to buy you a nice gift to win your affection. You deserve it right now. He will be glad you told him so he does not need to guess what it is you want. He is scared. He knows you are in a lot of pain and he has certainly heard the rumors of what women and their hormones do. Make him a list and tell him to check it twice.

Men do better when a woman tells them exactly what they want. Then praise him to the hilt when he does it. Praise him till you feel sick of it then do it some more. He will eat it right up. When he feels better you will too.
  #18  
Unread 12-22-2007, 10:47 PM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

I'm sorry your DH upset you. It does make one wonder sometimes where their minds are when they do stuff like that. I just have to remind myself when my hubby does something like that, that they have a 'dangly thing', and the added gravity pull must interfere with common sense!

Happy Belated Birthday!
Amy
  #19  
Unread 12-24-2007, 09:17 AM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

  Quote:
Originally Posted by lady4carousels
You need to tell men exactly what it is you want them to do. If you want him to go out and buy you a biggest box of chocolates then tell him. Men are in capable of giving us what we want when we need it.
Men do better when a woman tells them exactly what they want. Then praise him to the hilt when he does it. Praise him till you feel sick of it then do it some more. He will eat it right up. When he feels better you will too.
Well put. I had a talk with DH a couple of days ago, about picking up the floor. I know he did not make the mess (inner eye roll) but, I did not need to be stumbling and tripping. It also stresses me out to have to be idle and look at it.
I also let him know how much I appreciated his cooking, but that I was going to gain a lot of weight with all the starches and no vegetables. He know I don't eat like that if I can help it.
I told him how hard it is for me to have to ask, and I did not want to just be sitting on my butt feeling like I was ordering him around.
It is hard for him, he is retired and used to me being at work most of the time.
He seems to be pretty worn out now, especially right after I came home.
I have not been too moody, I felt worse before the surgery.
He is not happy about to help with Christmas, that has always been my department.
He also did not want everyone over tomarrow. But, I did not want my Mom to have to deal with that. I did ask for help, and I am keeping it low key. Lots of gift bags!
He has to understand this is a sensitive time, you can't help how you feel, you are in it, and have to get through it together.

Take care and Happy Holidays
  #20  
Unread 12-29-2007, 04:06 PM
Boy, DH sure did put me in a mood...

Tam,

Happy (Belated) Birthday! I was also in the hospital recovering from my Big Day on my B-Day!!! (We really have to work on our timing, don't we?) I can related to the weirdness of experiencing those two particular milestones at once.

If I have learned anything from living with my DH, it is how to lean on my "sister" friends. Our DH's and significant others can be so wonderful, and so clueless at the same time.

You are doing the right thing by continuing to communicate with him. I agree with the post that said he's probably feeling a lot of emotions right now, too. If he could communicate as effectively as you, he would probably deal with it better. But he probably is not so well equipped, so he's using humor. (When in doubt, try to be funny, right?)

And don't forget to treat yourself. Set a good example for him!!!

Hugs to you
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