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Christmas Dilemma Every Year Christmas Dilemma Every Year

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Unread 12-22-2007, 08:24 PM
Christmas Dilemma Every Year

My DH has 2 grown sons (26 and 29). They live nomadic lives, moving from apartment to apartment, job to job. They can't take care of themselves, but of course they had to bring children into the world (Duh). We never know where they are living or where they are working or what jail they are in.

These sons do not call their father during the year, even though they live locally. They know Dad won't bail them out of jail or get their car out of impound. DH's brother does this.

Soooo, Christmas rolls around and guess what? They call. They want to come over. This is when DH hands out the Christmas cash you know. Last year he gave these bums $200 each (I had a royal fit). And of course he didn't hear from them all year.

Now, (he's learned his lesson) so instead of telling them "you don't call, you get no Christmas money", he told them we had a hard year and we're destitute so there will be no Christmas money. Ha! He just can't take the bull by the horns and tell them the truth.

So what do you do in a situation like this? I bought these bums nothing. Should I go out and buy them and their kids gifts? I refuse to be used. I could be giving their money to a needy family who would appreciate it.
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Unread 12-23-2007, 07:09 AM
Christmas Dilemma Every Year

Hi Ms Dee2,

I understand your frustration at these boys, actually they are grown men at this point in their lives. Scary, isn't it?

I believe if I was in your situation, I would not buy the boys anything, I would be cordial to them when they came over. I would even invite them to dinner. On the other hand their children did not ask to be in this situation and why should they suffer? I would get them gifts. They did nothing to hurt you and they are children.

This is just my opinion. Good luck in your decision and Happy Holidays.

Unread 12-23-2007, 07:28 AM
Christmas Dilemma Every Year

Hi MsDee

I think I would do pretty much what June has suggested too. I think of the bible story of the prodigal son who took his inheritance and squandered it on high living till he found himself with nothing. When he came home he asked for forgiveness and his father welcomed him with open arms and had a feast in his honor because he was thought to be dead, but was now alive. He was lost but now was found. In my interpretation this means you don't have to give more financially because the meaning is lost, but love has to be there. You could invite them for dinner. Be a good example of what love brings so they can see what it's about. They may or may not get it, but it's worth so much more than the money they would spend foolishly anyway. Be grateful you're not in their shoes and celebrate the joy of the season. Good luck with your decision. I hope you can find some peace with it.


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