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"couple fun" before six weeks? "couple fun" before six weeks?

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Unread 01-01-2008, 11:21 AM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

I had a TAV 10 days ago, and when dr. came around to release me, I had a room-mate and made it difficult to ask some questions. Ive read some post that say -complete pelvic rest- as in no big Os.

And dh and I know we have to wait the six weeks for any "real deal" - but who know if a little external playing around is ok before? and if so when?

I know i should be just thankful the desire is there, but kind of want to know if it all works too.

any thoughts out there?
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Unread 01-01-2008, 11:32 AM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

The Essential Guide to Hysterectomy by Dr. Lauren Streicher

"There are no restrictions on kissing, hugging, fondling, or stimulation of external genitalia."

"Oral sex is perfectly fine after hysterectomy...if you have had any reconstructive vaginal surgery... oral sex and any vaginal stimulation should be avoided."

"After a few weeks, orgasms are fine. ... if nothing goes in the vagina...."
Unread 01-01-2008, 02:55 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

housemd, well since i had my cervix removed - i would guess sewing that up might be conceived as reconstruction. Now this might be tmi so bear with me... but im trying to make sure this is right... if we fondle and i should get excited, which normally includes pelvic/vaginal contractions (and as summer glow mentioned) if i remember right- is that ok?
and also sounds like you were a full two weeks out and still had some problems then? did you have cervix removed also?
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Unread 01-01-2008, 03:23 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

I had my cervix removed, also. That is not the vaginal reconstruction she is talking about. She is talking about perineoplasty or labioplasty, which are surgeries on the outer gentalia or outer opening of the vagina. The surgery at the back, where the cervix used to be, must be completely healed before anything is put in the vagina--this usually happens around six weeks. You will get the full go ahead if everything's okay at your six week appt.

Yes, I had a bit of bleeding after an orgasm--but no, I was not two full weeks out. I was only one week and a day or two. It was too early--I was mislead by my feelings of health and normalcy (I have healed very fast), and lust! But, even though it was too early, there was no pain. I think if you have pain, you should immediately stop--just like you would if you were doing laundry and had pain!
Unread 01-01-2008, 03:30 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

By the way, if by pelvic contractions, you mean uterine contractions, then you obviously won't have those anymore. From what I've read, most women do not have those or notice them, if they do. Most women are as satisfied with their sex lives after hyst. as before. However, if you were having uterine contraction with orgasm, then your orgasms will feel shallower and/or lighter since there now can only be vaginal contractions.
Unread 01-01-2008, 03:42 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?


So, just to reinterate, is oral stimulation okay? I'm 3 weeks post-op, LSH, ovaries and cervix intact. Are lubricants needed?
Unread 01-01-2008, 05:39 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

So, just to reinterate, is oral stimulation okay?
This is a question that you really should ask your own doctor. Only your doctor can determine if it's safe for you at this point in your recovery. Don't hesitate to call and ask--it's a question that doctors have heard before.

Doctors' orders do vary and what mine said was right for me may not be the same as what yours says for you. Be safe and make that call so you don't risk your recovery.

Here are links to some good information to read on the subject:

Sex - Do I Really Have to Wait Six Weeks?

Sex - Post-Op Libido and Sexual Activities

Post-Op Sex Checkpoint

Best wishes to each of you for a healthy New Year!

Unread 01-01-2008, 05:56 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

My doc just said no intercourse. I really never thought to ask about other "play," but until about week 5, I did not feel like doing anything. I was curious if all parts would still work.

At 6 weeks, I was told to wait one more week. Sometime, around week5, my DH touched me some above the waist and my inner parts really stirred. I asked my doc about that because I wondered if I hurt my innards. She grinned and said that was OK.

By the way, I'm happy to tell you that right after my clearance at 7 weeks and now, at 9 weeks, all of my parts work just fine.
Unread 01-01-2008, 08:05 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

As April Dawn said, you should definitely contact your doctor, as every person, every recovery, and every surgery is a little different. Though you can't seen them, you have hundreds of internal stitches which you don't want to risk damaging or tearing. There is also risk of introducing bacteria that can lead to dangerous infection.

I know that the fluctuating hormones can send you into a high sex drive frenzy, but the short term of healing we need to grant ourselves in the beginning is what brings us to a happy ending. Please don't jeapardize your recovery progress. Get clearance first, then proceed with caution. Good luck to you.
Unread 01-01-2008, 09:18 PM
"couple fun" before six weeks?

Ladies, I'm not a doctor, and I'm certainly not your doctor. I was either quoting or paraphrasing from the book I mentioned in my first reply. I have a great deal of faith in it. But a book doesn't know your individual situation.

However, for the sake of discussion and clarity, let me re-state the timeline as given in the book.
1. There are no time restrictions on kissing, hugging, etc. up to and including external genital stimulation--unless there has been vaginal surgery.
2. "After about two weeks" she says there is no longer a restriction on toys used externally.
3. "After a few weeks" there are no longer restrictions on having an orgasm achieved through external stimulation.
4. After the six week check up and doctor okay, then you can begin intercourse.
This timeline is not supported by the articles linked to above on this site.

The author also emphasized repeatedly the importance of lubricants. Loss of estrogen can cause dryness, as well as fear (as expressed here) about whether you should, etc. It's certainly not going to hurt to ask your doctor at your two week checkup before engaging in sex play, but from personal experience, I say that libido can be elusive and when you've got it you should revel in it. If you ignore it, it can go away. No one's talking about wild abandoned sex here--just a little sex play. I think it's overly cautious at least, and maybe even fear mongering to say that jeopardizes your recovery. You don't want to recover physically at the expense of your sexuality!

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