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Any survivors here? Any survivors here?

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  #1  
Unread 01-01-2008, 12:02 PM
Any survivors here?

I was just wondering if anyone here is a CSA (childhood sexual abuse) survivor? i've found that this surgery and my last one, the endometrial ablasion, have severely contributed to my horrible flash backs and memories. My first surgery I was awake when they restrained my arms... I was really freaked out. This time, my surgeon, God bless him, had me knocked out before ANYTHING... I wasn't even in the actual OR room.

Anyways, it's been very difficult, i have a lot too deal with, my recovery, my spinal injury stuff, which complicates everything, I have two wonderful sons, and I'm struggling with these horrible memories from when I was 5-13 years old. I know it's in the past, I should "get over it" but itwas so horrific I can't seem to. I was perfectly fine until I had this stupid car accident that wasn't even my fault. GRrrrrrrrrrrr

is anyone else here a survivor? Am I a total freak? It's ok, to be honest, I won't be insulted

thanks for listening, again
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  #2  
Unread 01-01-2008, 12:17 PM
Any survivors here?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by itsme01
I was just wondering if anyone here is a CSA (childhood sexual abuse) survivor? i've found that this surgery and my last one, the endometrial ablasion, have severely contributed to my horrible flash backs and memories. My first surgery I was awake when they restrained my arms... I was really freaked out. This time, my surgeon, God bless him, had me knocked out before ANYTHING... I wasn't even in the actual OR room.

Anyways, it's been very difficult, i have a lot too deal with, my recovery, my spinal injury stuff, which complicates everything, I have two wonderful sons, and I'm struggling with these horrible memories from when I was 5-13 years old. I know it's in the past, I should "get over it" but itwas so horrific I can't seem to. I was perfectly fine until I had this stupid car accident that wasn't even my fault. GRrrrrrrrrrrr

is anyone else here a survivor? Am I a total freak? It's ok, to be honest, I won't be insulted

thanks for listening, again

Hi,

Oh my...you are NOT a total freak!! I too am a servivor of childhood sexual abuse. I do suffer from flashbacks, but they didn't seem to get worse with the surgery. I can't believe they kept you awake during your first surgery! I made sure that my gyno knew about my abuse, so he was extra careful...and I made sure I was out cold during my hysterectomy! lol...

I am curious, and please don't be offended by my asking...do you have a counseler or someone that you see? If you don't, it would be a good idea to get one. They might be able to really help you.

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time for you...and I hope you have some type of support!

Bea
  #3  
Unread 01-01-2008, 01:27 PM
Any survivors here?

Yes,
I am a survivor as well. I contracted herpes from my attacker. I can't say that the surgery itself has caused any flashbacks. But the two year battle with large rapid growing fibriods and constant bladder problems has sparked something emotional in me. I feel like I have been dealing with "problems" in my genital area since I was nine (I was abused at 9). This hyterectomy was the third procedure for me in the lat 18 months. Which that alone has brought up angery feeling of my abuse. You're not a freak. I have been thankful for the new (expensive)medications to supress the herpes outbreaks brought on my stress because there's something wrong again. But, I do understand. Hang in there. Hugs
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  #4  
Unread 01-01-2008, 07:18 PM
Any survivors here?

I am one too, the surgery didnt increase flash backs but did cause me to well have nightmares for some reason after surgery my dreams went bad and alot were about the abuse. so your not a freak. big big hugs and i do hope you have some one to talk to to help since there back
hugs
lisa
  #5  
Unread 01-01-2008, 07:21 PM
Any survivors here?

You're not a freak. One time I was talking to 3 good friends at college and the topic came up. 3 out of 4 of us that were in the conversation are survivors. Two of us were victims of family members.

I believe it's a lot more common than any of the statistics show.

I still have issues about it, I try not to but none of them came up during this whole medical episode.
  #6  
Unread 01-01-2008, 07:35 PM
Any survivors here?

Hi Itsme

I experienced sexual abuse by a family member a number of times at age 10. Your emotions and experience are not unusual. I have had therapy at a number of different intersections in my life when the memories have manifested themselves in different ways and it has always been helpful in resolving the issues. I still have flashbacks on the rare occasions when I see this family member and I shudder at the thought of him when someone mentions his name, but I've been able to deal with it overall. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and I'm sorry for all of us who have been taken advantage of in a way that nobody has the right to. For me, it really helps to talk about it.

It's not your fault, and you are in charge of your body now. I know having surgery is a sort of relinquishing of that control for a little while and I'm guessing that's what has stirred up all these feelings. Between that and the spinal injury it's got to be such an emotional time. I hope it gets better for you soon and that you have peace again. You're very brave.

  #7  
Unread 01-01-2008, 07:46 PM
Any survivors here?

I am a survivor also. Luckily my flashbacks didn't surface, but I did get very depressed and had some bad dreams. I take depression meds and see a therapist on a regular basis. But if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me. Support is a good thing.
  #8  
Unread 01-01-2008, 07:47 PM
Any survivors here?

No one "just gets over" sexual abuse at any age. I was molested once by a neighbor when I was ten. That was strange and scary, but the really bad thing happened when I was raped by a so-called friend when I was 30. For years I denied that any sexual abuse had ever happened to me and suffered terribly for it. I had depression (on top of that caused by my chemical imbalance), thoughts of self-harm, eating disorders, guilt, and so much anger...I'm still dealing with the anger, which is not just hormonal for me but caused by every story of rape or child molestation that gets splashed across the news, especially when the idea is to blame the victim. Given your history it's perfectly understandable that in any situation where you feel that you can't control what happens to you, in surgery or a car accident, that those feelings of being helpless and victimized come back. I'd be surprised if they didn't.

I cannot urge you strongly enough to get some help with your sexual abuse issues. Have you ever seen a therapist about what happened to you or been to a sexual abuse survivors' group? The only way I even started getting past being raped was when I saw a psychiatrist. I didn't even go for that -- I went for meds, and ended up talking about "it". Since that time I can face up to being raped. It still hurts, and it's still frightening, but I can face it -- I even wrote about it in my novel by putting my main character in a very similar situation as what happened to me, and 5 years ago I could never have done that. It was so cathartic; I felt at last that I had taken some of my personal power back from the man who betrayed my trust and raped me. Please don't go through what you're feeling by yourself. No woman should ever have to do that.
  #9  
Unread 01-01-2008, 09:22 PM
Any survivors here?

I am also a survivor. Several years back, I spent about 5 years in therapy and currently I take an anti-depressent (sp). My therapist told me then that traumatic events of any sort in a person's life can trigger flashbacks. I began seeing her after a traumatic event. Fortunately, this surgery has not brought on any new flashbacks, memories, or issues, and I attribute it to the work that I have already completed with my therapist (and the anti-depressents). Just the same, I can fully understand how this surgery would dredge up feelings about what happened.

Also, I had a friend who was awake during her ablation as well. What a horrific experience she described! I can't even imagine why doctors do that without general anesthesia.

Big hugs to you. It looks like there are quite a few of us who can relate and understand what you are going through.
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