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Very Agitated!!! help! Very Agitated!!! help!

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Unread 01-13-2008, 06:38 AM
Very Agitated!!! help!

Yes, we will get through this! I keep reminding myself of that. We've already been through so much, we'll do this too.

I'm very sorry about your mom. I lost mine several years ago and I still miss her...guess I always will. Lost my brother, whom I was very close to and shared everything with, five years ago and miss him very much.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone to talk with either. Unless someone has walked a similar path, it can be difficult to fully understand where one is coming from. So we can rely on each other and our sisters here! There seems to always be someone here who can truly relate. This is such a great community and it has given me a lot of strength the past several months.

Sending you hugs and best wishes!
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Unread 01-13-2008, 06:51 AM
Very Agitated!!! help!

I too am parentless, my mom died almost 6 years many things to go thru without a mom, even when you are a grown up yourself.... I do talk to her alot and I often wonder what she would have thought of some of the changes in my life and my kids as teenagers. It is odd though as I am getting older, I hear her in my head more and can see more of her influience in my thinking...maybe we do turn into our mothers....not necessarilly a bad thing (try telling that to my 17 yo daughter!!!)
Unread 03-16-2008, 06:49 PM
Angry beast trying to get out and wreak havoc on my DH

Thank goodness I came across this thread. Today is the worst day I have had since surgery....17 days ago. Like a lot of us.....I have insomnia so bad...I usually do not fall asleep before 4am. Well, last night, I dozed off around 3:30 am, only to be awakened by my 18 yr old step son coming home from his gf's house. His bedroom is right above mine and he is a big boy, so when he walks around it is LOUD! I dont know what the heck he was doing but it was a good 20 minutes before he finally went to bed. Needless to say I was not happy and did not get back to sleep until 5am.
So... mentioned it to DH (and the D is not standing for dear right now), and he didn't seem to have an issue with it. His response was....Do you expect him to not walk around?? that upset me a bit.....I think coming home at 4am is a bit ridiculus....but he's not my kid and my DH doesnt have a problem with it. There are basically no rules for this kid because he is 18. Let me say one thing....this kid is not in trouble or on drugs or anything...he is a good kid. But C'mon.....4am????? He is still living under our roof, does not contribute a thing, he JUST got a job flipping burgers last week.
DH said to me....we've all been working around your schedule and tip toe around so we dont wake you. NEWSFLASH!!!! I don't sleep during the at night when I am trying to get some much needed sleep.....I would like it to be quiet. ESPECIALLY AT 4 AM!!!!!!!! Am I wrong here? Am I asking for too much????
So after a few choice words from me to him...he told me to get off my lazy butt and do everything for myself because he is done helping me out. Now this is coming from the man that just yesterday....wouldnt let me get my own drink if he was around. As a punishment...he wouldnt go to the store and get groceries now I am going to have to go and get all the groceries tomorrow, so we can eat this week. Just what I feel like doing.
He also got mad because I asked my sister to take my kids to the store to grab a couple green tshirts for school tomorrow (she already had them and wasnt making a special trip), so when she called to see exactlly what i wanted her to get .....he told her not to take them that he would get them whatever they needed. Which he wouldnt have, just to make me mad (my kids are not his) I had to call her back and tell her what to get. He had the nerve to start yelling at me demanding to know what they needed, and at that point, I was being pigheaded and told him it was none of his business....I was using MY money and it didnt concern him.
I just want to scream and cry. Now the silent treatment has begun along with the door slamming each and everytime he opens the doors to our bathroom or bedroom. He can be such a child and so dang immature.
I know it's getting to him that he has to do all the household chores...but oh well. He doesnt help me do half of it when I am well. So it doesnt kill him to do it when Im down. I find it funny that when my step daughter cooks a meal (which she has done a wonderful job at!), he tells the other kids to help clean up the kitchen because his DD just cooked a meal and she shouldnt have to do it all. But when I work, go to school, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, sweep/mop/vaccuum, etc, its not too much for me to do by myself.....and he gets honkerblonky if the house isnt spotless.

I'm at the point right now that the sight of him is making me sick and I'm thankful that he has been sleeping in the living room since my surgery. I have to stay away from him or else Im going to lose my cool and be mean. I feel like I could rip the eyes out of his head and show him his a*s because that is what he is acting like. I know most of this is happening because of the surgery....normally we have a very good happy marriage. As a matter of fact...this is the first fight we have had in about a year and a half. We dont normally fight....he can be demanding sometimes....but hes not usually a jerk like he is being today. He is the type of person that thinks if you are sitting around doing nothing, then you are being I cant help to think that that is what he is thinking about me at this point.
Deep breaths...thats all I can do at this point. Im sure it will blow over....but I hate feeling this way. Im not an angry spiteful person....but today I am. I just want to get back to feeling normal.
Sorry this is soooooo long....I had to get this out before it ate me up inside. I do feel better getting it off my chest. thanks for the ears girls!!!
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Unread 03-16-2008, 07:12 PM
Very Agitated!!! help!

winterinnewyork, I just wanted to let you know that I am there with you about the 18-year-old coming in so late. My DS is 20 in June and still lives at home Sunday night thru Thursday night. I don't see him much any other time. He also is a pretty good kid. And doesn't get in a lot of trouble. He started that bit about coming in real late. And when you aren't sleeping well anyway, that just adds to the frustration. If you are like me, I am a light sleeper to boot and it just doesn't take much to wake me. I am also a worrier and a teenager driving that late at night unnerves me. I know you can't do much with it being your step son. But DH and I told our son that Sunday night thru Thursday night, he needed to be in this house by 1 AM unless he called to tell us he wasn't coming home for some reason. Friday thru Sunday evening he is at his girlfriend's apartment when he isn't working. But if he was late or decided not to come home, it was going to cost him $10 each time. The first month, he paid us over $100. When he realized that he wasn't making enough to keep paying us, he started making it home on time more often.
Unread 03-16-2008, 10:14 PM
Very Agitated!!! help!

I don't worry about him, he has a good head on his shoulders.....and i know where he is. i dont like him coming in so late....i have younger kids ages 9 and 10....i dont need him waking them up too. he is like a bull in a china shop hes not always quiet. I am more mad at DH for not showing any bit of concern.....he knows ive had trouble sleeping. I think he feels like he is doing me a favor by keeping it quiet during the day.....when everyone is gone lol because when they are all home they sure are not quiet.

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