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How have you told people about your upcoming surgery? How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

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  #1  
Unread 01-14-2008, 10:07 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

Hi everyone,

My surgery is getting closer (YAY!), so I'm at a point now where I'm telling people other than my close friends and family who already know.

For me, telling people I'm getting a hysterectomy is not a big deal. I guess I don't see it as too personal. BUT, not everyone thinks this way. And, one thing I've discovered is with some people when I say I'm getting a hysterectomy, I find they seem uncomfortable with the subject. So, what I've started doing now is just saying, "I'm going to be having surgery on Feb. 4." But, then, what happens is some people will ask, "oh, what kind of surgery?" And, so then I'll asnwer and tell them a hysterectomy, and then they act as if they wish they hadn't asked. haha.

I almost always get this response from men, actually. Women generally haven't responded this way.

I teach a class once a week, and there are 4 men who help me out with this class. I have a sub lined up, but I still have not told these men that I'll be out for a few weeks. Also, I still haven't told the students in my class (and they are all adult learners). So, I'm trying to figure out HOW to tell people, men in general, that I'll be having surgery, but be able to say it in a way so they don't feel like I'm giving out TOO much information. However, I'm expecting some of them might ask what kind of surgery.

I'm also getting an appendectomy, and I've thought about just saying I'm getting my appendix out.... but I feel weird just saying that because that is not the whole story.

And, with my adult students for my class, they will need to know I'll be out for a few weeks, and I'm trying to figure out how to tell them without giving out too much info....

Any suggestions on how to tell people about your surgery, but making sure they don't feel uncomfortable when or if they find out what kind of surgery?

I love to run, as you can tell from my sceen name, and a guy friend of mine asked me yesterday if I'd want to do a running race with him in February. Well, I had to break the news, and I told him I would love to, but I can't because I'm having surgery on Feb. 4. He looked at me and said, "oh really? What kind of surgery?" Since he asked, I told him.... a hysterectomy, and he just had this look like he wished he hadn't asked. It was kind of a weird moment.

So, I'm trying to avoid these weird moments, if possible.... but maybe it's not possible???

Any suggestions???

Thanks!!
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  #2  
Unread 01-14-2008, 10:29 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I don't know if it is possible to avoid these moments.I would just be honest with them...and then if they change the subject just let it go.I was blessed in that I work in our school cafeteria(where I will be returning next week) with all women.They watched me get sicker and sicker last April..leading to me needing 4 pints of blood...lots of test and finally the finding of fibroids and the scheduling of a TAH in DEC.I work around a few men and they have all been supportive.I think it is up to the other person on how the act. Just remember this is about you and your health...you have to take care of yourself.I will keep you in my prayers.God Bless You
Faith
  #3  
Unread 01-14-2008, 10:51 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I drive a school bus so I needed to tell my students I was leaving for 6 weeks I just told them surgery and of course they asked why I told them I choose not to share that all they need to know is that I was having major surgery and they better be good as I would be coming back Most people at my work Women have had one so it is just a normal for the guys I just tell them they really dont want to know that usually quiets them down or I tell them woman issues it again shuts them down because they want to hear nothing of girl problems even my supervisor was told I was having Woman surgery and he did not even question my LOA
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  #4  
Unread 01-14-2008, 10:59 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I work at a construction firm and when they guys asked me what I was having done, I said girly stuff and they pretty much dropped it from there. There were two gentelmen who asked specifics because thier wives had also had hysters and were very supportive.
  #5  
Unread 01-14-2008, 11:06 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I told people at work that I was having major abdominal sugery and only expounded upon that when asked which was not very often. I think a total of 5 people asked what I was having.
I personally did not like telling people because I was sick of the" your too young" comment everyone was making. I still think if I hear that one more time I will snap...
  #6  
Unread 01-14-2008, 11:12 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I work in manufacturing mostly men but some women in the office. I have told people I will be out for surgery. I do not offer more information unless they ask. Then I only answer exactly what they ask.

When asked why I am having surgery, I just say woman stuff. The only man that really continued to ask questions was my boss.

He is an older gentleman, married forever, 4 grown kids (two daughters), all married with kids. He had no problem talking to me, to include telling me about one if his son's wife having issues with fibroids also. I was very relieved.

Most men I have found will say something nice like "wish you luck" and then drop it real quick. I find it funny.
  #7  
Unread 01-14-2008, 11:29 AM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

My boss also wanted details. He was kind enough to call after surgery and ask when I was getting the test results back to make sure everything was ok. Most of the other guys just dropped it. Don't give details unless you want to, these are the people you work with, not live with. I found out the all the gentlemen I work with really do appreciate me. They have been very supportive around the office and don't let me carry anything heavy, even though I can now. For being a bunch of construction red-neck type of guys, they were and are still really nice to work with. Some have asked if 'things have gotten back to normal' and I just tell them yes. It is kind of them to be concerned, but there are just some things I don't care to discuss with men that I work closely with for 60 hours a week!
  #8  
Unread 01-14-2008, 12:57 PM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

a good answer would be "abdominal surgery".
  #9  
Unread 01-14-2008, 01:09 PM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I really haven't told anyone, I can count with fingers on one hand as how many people know. My co-workers will NOT know why I will be out all they will get is a I am on Medical leave that's it! It's None of their business.
  #10  
Unread 01-14-2008, 01:12 PM
How have you told people about your upcoming surgery?

I too work for a construction company. Several of the men I work with, including my boss and our general superintendent have watched my get worse and worse over the past year plus. They have both been very supportive and a little curious. I have shared as much as they wanted to know and it has been really noce to have people at work who really do understand this process I'm going through (at least as well as I do!). For those I don't work as closely with I tell them abdominal surgery adn that has been sufficient for them. At some point people need to learn 'don't ask if you really don't want to know!'
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