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Some silly questions and frustrations... Some silly questions and frustrations...

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Unread 01-15-2008, 12:07 AM
Some silly questions and frustrations...

I will have my ovaries, uterus, cervix removed next Tuesday. I had pain for several months and abnormal bleeding they found some large cysts with mural nodules that they want to take out, also have fibroids, and probably plenty of adhesions from past issues - so here are my questons:

I have awful back pain like so many of you- why?? Why does our back hurt so? I've looked at the female anatomy pictures and I can see why my gut hurts, is bloated and tender, but why my back? We all seem to have it so it must be something....

Next- why are we all tired? I have been nothing but a worthless blob for months...I have watched my life go by- yes discomfort is one thing...but I can sleep and I mean I imagine it is partially the pain meds but why is fatigue such a part of this? Hormone imbalances????

Also- my biggest fear is not waking up... granted it's silly to some, but then I think well- I bet that rap stars mom thought she was going to be okay too.....( I do have a fabulous imagination...)- but after that, my next fear is what if it doesn't change anything...what if 5 weeks down the road, my hormones are even more out of wack, what if the otherside of the castle doesn't bring me that energy, and enthusiasm and pain free life I think should be there??? I mean reading all of the HRT threads here is a bit overwhelming - why can't there ever be a one size fits all solution????

I certainly empathize with you who are waiting... I told my doctor before Chistmas and the CA-125 came back okay that if she didn't get it out of me I was going to reach up there and there and yank it out!! (oh yeah...a little pms too)

I keep picturing that woman in the white dress running through the field all free and joyful and wonder if that will ever be me? (okay I think it was a feminine wash commercial from the 80's) but still I want to feel that way...
not the iritable bleeding blob on the couch!!

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Unread 01-15-2008, 12:18 AM
Some silly questions and frustrations...

I know it is scary, but you will be ok. I had prolapse issues so that explained the pulling in my muscles causing the back pain. It is amazing that it is gone now after my surgery (Knock on wook it does not come back)
This may sound silly, but I always associated kegels with well..pushing babies out or not peeing. I didn't realize how many muscles are affected in your pelvis if you have issues. My hips always seemed to hurt as well.

I didn't have fears waking up specifically just a fear of something happening to me and leaving my Dh and children. Then I realized really how common hysters are and felt better. I kept my ovaries but I have noticed hot flashes after my surgery and my doc told me wven when you keep your ovaries you lose about 10% blood flow so that could be it as my body adjusts. My mom has never been on hormones after her syster and never had any problems. The good thing is nowadays there are more options and you can adjust to find the right option for you after.

Good luck!
Unread 01-15-2008, 12:22 AM
not silly questions at all.

While I cannot specifically answer your "why" questions as everyone is different.. I can tell you that I suffered for a long time with Endo, Fibroids, and Scar tissue, and large cysts. Life became unbearable as I bled constantly and couldn't go anywhere from the pain. I was a blob too!
My LAVH/BSO was done on May 29th and I have to tell you - it was the weirdest thing when I reached for something about a week post-op and braced myself for the usually pain I felt upon that motion before surgery and it didn't come! That was the first sign that I was on my way to the other side of the castle!
Now, at 7 months post-op, I am thrilled to say that life has returned. No, not at first - it took a while to build my strength and stamina back up - so don't push yourself - listen to your doctor. If you push, like I tried to do - you will set your healing backwards. Do what they say!! Trust me!
As for the hormones, I woke up from surgery with a hormone patch (Climara Pro) stuck to the back of my left hip. I;m allergic to adhesive so it didn't take long for that patch to irritate my skin - and by the 2 week post-op check up I was begging for something different. I had also experienced hot flashes, nausea and all day long (not just night) sweats. The hot flashes were so uncomfortable that I didn't care about the swirling debate over HRT anymore.. I just wanted relief. I was switched to Activella and right about 3 months into that med, I all of a sudden noticed that I was feeling like me again - and I was so happy - I didn't notice when it happened, but it did! I take it daily... my breast cancer gene screening came back fine so I figure I'll chance it to not go through that at my age of 34.
I will think of you on Jan 22nd and hope everything goes well for you too! If you want, we can be friends and I'd be happy to know how things went if you care to share them. Hugs & Blessings!! Pinky
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Unread 01-15-2008, 12:24 AM

Oh yes - by the way - I threatened on a regular basis to rip everything out myself too!! I told them I was going to do it myself if someone didn't so it soon! You're not alone!
Unread 01-15-2008, 12:25 AM
Some silly questions and frustrations...

Hi 2by2,

I also am so tired, and I normally lead a very active lifestyle. But, I get fatigued So easily these days. It's so unlike me, but sometimes I just get this extreme exhaustion and it can be any time of the day. The exhaustion comes and goes in waves for me. I don't have any real answer why so many women with uterus issues have exhaustion, but for me, I am starting to wonder if it's the pain my body goes through. Pain can be exhausting, and when you are constantly feeling some sort of pain, whether it's a dull ache to labor type cramps (this would describe me all month long), I think it wears your body down.

I don't know.... maybe there are other reasons.... but that is just my theory. I am HOPING once I'm recovered, I won't feel this fatigued all the time and I can start feeling normal again.

I wish you the best of luck. Try not to worry too much. I know it's hard NOT to worry, but so many things are out of our control, and we just have to have faith that everything will come out wonderfully in the end!

I truly believe waiting IS the hardest part. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I've been waiting for my surgery since mid-December, and this has been the longest couple of months ever.

I'd love to be that woman in the white dress from that commercial you're talking about. I remember that commercial!!
Unread 01-15-2008, 01:14 AM
Some silly questions and frustrations...

Pinky and Loves to Run,

You make my cup runneth over !!!! Thank you!! I cried and smile as I read your notes to me- thank you for taking the time.


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