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Lost or Losing my Mind Lost or Losing my Mind

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  #1  
Unread 01-29-2008, 11:32 AM
Lost or Losing my Mind

I hate my husband, I am hopeless about feeling good ever again. I cry for dumb **** and my friend's friend who had a hyster before me, just came out of Respit (check yourself in and out, mental support) she and I compared notes and we both are beginning to think that their HAS TO BE A MENTAL component to this surgery. Something our GYN's either deny exists or says will get better. I am not the same in anyway. I am ready to throw 12 years of a relationship in the trash. I try but can not get along with my husband. I don't do anything with my child or dog and holidays were a joke. I have no interest in anything and if I get it it lasts for a few minutes. I stopped smoking cigarettes 1.1.08, that is going well. I applied for 14 jobs and got hired for NONE. That is not going well. My house is a mess, the bills are behind (that is my chore). I took the dog out after my husband and I argued this afternoon, the dog ran away... I sat in the snow and cried. The neighbor came out, I felt like a fool and she even said I haven't been the same since the surgery.... I now require one floor living and HAVE NO LUCK finding a place.
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  #2  
Unread 01-29-2008, 11:33 AM
Lost or Losing my Mind

So is there a mental and emotional post-op care guide I missed?
  #3  
Unread 01-29-2008, 11:47 AM
Lost or Losing my Mind

Perceptionist,
I am so sorry you are having such a horrible time. I think you said somewhere else you have a doctor's appt tomorrow. If so, spend today getting ready for it. Sit down and write out all of your symptoms (physical and mental) and write down all of your questions. You need to be completely 100% honest tomorrow and if you have it all written down you will not forget if your emotions get the best of you. You very well could be having hormonal issues on top of pain issues that are making you so emotional. Do not give up. Be proactive today and believe that tomorrow will be the beginning of change....
Good luck!!!!
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  #4  
Unread 01-29-2008, 11:56 AM
Lost or Losing my Mind

Perceptionist, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I feel as you do quite a bit as well, except I don't hate my husband. I argue with him a lot, but he knows I am just really moody so he kinda ignores what I say. Not that I know how long that will last. Perhaps there is a mental component... Maybe they should prescribe anti depressants and anxiety meds to us before we are discharged? I hope you feel better soon. It seems like some of us just take a lot longer to heal than others...Just keep venting if you feel like it. I can relate.
Janelle
  #5  
Unread 01-29-2008, 12:08 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

HI,
You are not alone. I think you need to let it go and cry cry cry!! I am 3 weeks post op and starting to have problems sleeping, I still can not sleep on my back and that is driving me crazy. I have to run a view errands today ( I have too) my brakes are bad on my car but I have to go to the medicaid office which is a big deal. I took a shower today ( I have not showered or put on makeup or washed my hair in 3 days) I really was beginning to smell Most days I hate my husband too. I started a fight with him last night because he made a stupid comment and I just started screaming at him telling him to just tell me the truth. " I know you are cheating on me" How could he not be? it has been since October we have not been intimate and I am only 3 weeks post op so we are looking at like 3-6 more weeks or more??????? Please. But today I woke up and had a note on the counter " I love you babe call you later xoxo" Boy do I feel like a SH*& now I have read many other post where the women called the doctor because of irrational thoughts or crying spells and were put on zoloft or something similar. You have been through so much and each of us has different worries or concerns or fears this is all very scary. I do not feel like myself at all. Last night my great girlfriend came over and we were trying to plan my upcoming b-day adventure but I just was not into it at all she kept saying lets look at the dates for Toni Braxton and the truth I really do want to go. I am such a BI&%h right now. I am suppose to go to a super bowl party and I am already trying to find away out of it. It is over 5 days away. One thing I did or do find very helpful is I am back in school (in an online capacity) but this has really helped me connect. I have to join in on discussion groups and do team projects and really this has helped a lot there are many online courses you can take some just for fun or some for a future degree. This is really helping a bit. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I think many of us feel and think the same way you are we are just afraid to say anything. Think about all you have been through. I agree to write you concerns and ? down and talk to someone and cry if you want scream if you want. I hope I helped a bit good luck.
  #6  
Unread 01-29-2008, 12:14 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

I am so sorry it is going so rough.
Me and mu husband are having a really rough time after surgery as well. I have just been mean and even though I know it, I cannot stop. Right now he won't even speak to me and this is the man who only stops talking when he is asleep.
I have also had a lot of complications and it makes life really rough. Yesterday my boss all but told me I would lose my job if I don't start showing up at the office (I have been working from home when needed)

Keep on venting. Plenty of us know exactly (or as close as possible) how you feel.
  #7  
Unread 01-29-2008, 12:18 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

Have you talked to your doctor about this? Maybe there is something that can be done to make you feel better.

I had no idea I would feel this way either. I had depression issues before surgery, so I should have expected this. I thought I would spend my recovery time sewing, watching movies, etc. I have no inclination to do any of these things. I don't even want to eat! I love to eat!! Or at least I did. I've been told this too shall pass, I surely hope so. I'm already taking 2 anti depressants and HRT. I think when I get my routine back I will feel better, I went from working 7 days a week to not being able to do anything. I think I'm a workaholic, and the grass looked greener on the other side.

But please don't make any decisions in a depressed state, find someone you can talk to, and please talk to your doctor. Any decisions you make now could have a negative impact on the rest of your life.

God Bless!
  #8  
Unread 01-29-2008, 03:12 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

I know exactly how you feel ....... I had my hysterectomy one year ago this Friday, I kept my cervix and ovaries. I hate sex now, I have only had sex with husband one time in the past year. I am always in a bad mood, I am never nice to him actually I am quite mean. I do manage to function for my daughter but I find myself not very patient sometimes. I had the hysterectomy due to Depo Provera I took it for birth control but it made me bleed non top for 9 months. Sometimes I wish I would have stuck it out to see if it stopped, by how much could one person take.
  #9  
Unread 01-29-2008, 10:48 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Perceptionist
I hate my husband, I am hopeless about feeling good ever again. I cry for dumb **** and my friend's friend who had a hyster before me, just came out of Respit (check yourself in and out, mental support) she and I compared notes and we both are beginning to think that their HAS TO BE A MENTAL component to this surgery. Something our GYN's either deny exists or says will get better. I am not the same in anyway. I am ready to throw 12 years of a relationship in the trash. I try but can not get along with my husband. I don't do anything with my child or dog and holidays were a joke. I have no interest in anything and if I get it it lasts for a few minutes. I stopped smoking cigarettes 1.1.08, that is going well. I applied for 14 jobs and got hired for NONE. That is not going well. My house is a mess, the bills are behind (that is my chore). I took the dog out after my husband and I argued this afternoon, the dog ran away... I sat in the snow and cried. The neighbor came out, I felt like a fool and she even said I haven't been the same since the surgery.... I now require one floor living and HAVE NO LUCK finding a place.

Congrats on non-smoking...I quit 6 months ago and will never smoke again...

Are you taking HRT? If you cannot due to other issues, I would suggest talking to your GYN or GP about an anti-depressant. I am not able to take HRT yet and I went on anti-depressants about 7 weeks after my surgery and I am now anxiety and depression free. It doesn't come without side effects (weight gain for me), but I needed a few extra pounds. Anti-depressants saved my relationship with my DH and I am no longer mean and short with him!

My GYN did not warn me about: night sweats, constant hot flashes, memory loss, face/back acne, muscle/joint aches/pain, greasy hair/skin, and insomina. He just kept telling me how good I was going to feel and he kept telling my DH that we would get our sex life back...

Needless to say, we didn't get our sex life back and I am facing another surgery due to complications from endo and I am 4 months post op.

Hope you feel better soon!
  #10  
Unread 01-29-2008, 11:12 PM
Lost or Losing my Mind

I'm praying for y'all!
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