DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

I'm on my 5th week after the surgery. I started back to school my 3rd week and I have also been exhausted but yet can't hardly sleep. Luckily, all my classes are online so I don't have to go anywhere. I just do a little each night.

My husband keeps bringing up my 6th week like it is some magical number. I don't think he is too concerned with the house, atleast he hasn't said anything. His concern is sex. (MEN) When ever he brings up something about the 6th week I just look at him and tell him to get bent! I also tell him that my body doesn't go by the calender.

My doc told me it could take up to a year for my body to recover from the insult of surgery. We have the immediate tissue healing, then add the hormone imbalance and its easy to see why we are exhausted. I'm glad you talked to your DH. As we all know, we heal at different rates and it will take longer for some to get that old "self" back. Best wishes to all in your recoveries!

could you just imagine what we would be in store for if those dh that think we are milking it,,had a surgery,,i know i would be in for a terrible time he is such a baby,,he would take pain pills for as long as the doctor would let him and would not be able to even go to the kitchen for a drink ect. now he did nothing for me at home and i mean NOTHING... five minutes after coming home from the hospital ,i had to change a litter pan he promised he would take care of,,so god forbid if he ever has surgery i will be remembering all those things he did not do,,,

So glad that you had your talk with dh and he seemed to understand better. My dh has been great with my recovery, it's my ds that says I'm milking it now. People that have never been through anything like this will never understand. Hope you are feeling better each day!

Pauline, I too talked with my DH after I posted last night. He apologized and assured me that he does not think I am all better. He actually told me that he thinks that I regularly overdo it and he wishes that I wouldn't. He told me that several times in my early recovery days and I snapped at him and told him that I know what I can and cannot do...

He and my DD have said sly remarks (that they call joking) but I also feel like there must be SOME truth behind it, otherwise why say it? He also assured me that he would cut out the 'joking' for a while because I a taking things too literally these days...wonder why? This surgery was not AT ALL emotionall, right? haha

So bottom line...yes, men can be insensitive but I think we also have to look at the signals we are sending too.

I sure hope that our DH's are sincere and continue to aid us in our healing.

Very glad you had such a productive talk with your DH. Keeping those lines of communication open is so important. Isn't it amazing what they kid around about? We really need a slap button here. LOL.

I would like to add that I have promised my DH a romantic weekend on February 23rd. (This is one week AFTER I am cleared for sex, so he is like why not the 16th, but whatever...I need a week to prepare myself mentally)

We are going to a beautiful B&B with a jacuzzi and fireplace in the room. It will be a special reunion night. I told him when he gets frustrated with me, think of the reward to come...

Of course, he said he 'never' gets frustrated with me but I am pretty perceptive and would have to disagree. haha

i tried talking to mine he acted like he would do everything ,ect but when the time came he didnt do anything he promised,,its ok got me to get myself up and try to do easy stuff myself,,a slap button would be good,,not all of us have a dh,,some of us just have a h,,,knew this would happen ,,i am a stronger willed woman " allie..see you are from beaver county like me i am from" bf" right down the road from you",,take it easy girls,,but really remember this is your recovery and you make your own pace depending on what your body tells you,,within dr. limits

Mine kept bringing up the 6 wks thingy too and lo and behold I wasn't cleared until the 8th week due to a hematoma I developed around my 3-4wk time that caused spotting for nearly 2 wks. Even now at nearly 11 wks post op I get extremely tired easily and don't have a lot of "oompf" to do it all. I'm learning to let thing lie as they may and hope that DH and DS will do their share. Its been hit or miss with sex as I am having pelvic and groin pain issues. Yes, if they could all only see what they exactly did to us during our surgeries they'd think twice about opening their mouths and talking negatively about our slow recoveries!

We definitely need a "slap" avatar!!

I love this board. I am in the same boat. I just made 4 weeks out and my husband has been saying that I am just holding out on him. WHAT? I am still spotting. Also he has taken FMLA and is returning to work 2 days before me (6 wks) and he is already making comments like you must have bed sores by now, when are you going to start taking the kids to school, etc. I had to stop him and ask, I'm on disabilitiy what is your reason for being home? That shut him up real quick.

Men just don't understand and of course they never really will. This operation for me has been very tiring, physically and emotinally. I am tired all the time because I have insomnia. When we do go out I feel like I am dizzy and going to pass out. After 1 1/2 hrs I am in sheer pain and just want to cry.