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DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

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Unread 02-03-2008, 08:46 AM
DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

I will be three weeks post op tomorrow and although he is smart enough not to say I am milking it, I am getting hints that he feels that way.

About a week ago at about 8 in the evening, he suggested that a chocolate cake would be great and asked me if I'd whip one up. I looked at him like he was nuts and told him I was too tired. The next morning he reminded me of how good a cake would taste and dummy me made one for him. Yesterday, I had a discussion with my friend in Arizona about naming the dust bunnies and she said that she has not vacuumed nor ironed in 20 years because her hubby does that. I have taken the little broom and swept up the tile area a few times but the bathrooms need mopping. My DH says it is just going to keep getting dusty from the remodeling that is going on and I just want to scream. I am getting after it with a Swifter afterwhile. I had a TVH so I don't think I will hurt myself like those of you with incisions would. A Swifter is less than 5 pounds, I'm sure.

When he was a little extra amorous with his good night kisses the other night he was very concerned about when things would be all better "down there". Men!!!!!!

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Unread 02-03-2008, 09:15 AM
DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

My husband was really helpful for about 2 weeks after ny surgery....then slowly everything started becoming "my job" again....I'm almost 10 weeks post op and still get so tired in the late afternoon and evening.....The other night I commented on how tired I was and my husband's reponse was..."yeah, I've been really tired, too"...???? They just don't get it!
Hang in there....we just need to take the best care of ourselves and not let anyone makes us feel that we should be doing anything we don't feel we can.
We will get through this!
Unread 02-03-2008, 09:15 AM
DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

Ms P TX, we are about the same time post op exactly. I did not have the TAH/BSO. My surgery was simpler, but still-
The six weeks is the average estimate. I too am very tired. I had been feeling all week as though I was coming down with something. Everyone at work is sick, of course. We get sick time, but you are made to feel like a bum for using it. " Next month, we hope you can do better".
I originally was supposed to be out 8 weeks for a TAH. But I got the TVH at the last minure, literally.
So, trying to be honest, forthright and not seem like I was "milking it". I went back. It was very hard, and I had some rough days. I did not come home and start hitting the housework, either.
I should have just stayed out, but, you have to go back sometime. I told my husband it was hard enough having to deal with people that dont understand. (My first day back, I was approached by 2 co-workers to trade into the hardest assignments) In the past, yeah, ok sure.
Not that time. I just said NO, I really need to take it slow.
I just cannot get upset about what others that do not care about me will think.
I told my husband all this, and that it does make me feel bad to think that he believes I am using this as an excuse to shirk out on my share of the work around the house.
I was so tired on Fri, as I was walking up the stairs, out of the building to the parking lot, I almost passed out. Right by the front door. That would have been disasterous. I would have got an amubulance ride, or be taken to hospital by a supervisor for a medical clearance to be allowed to return to work.
I have had enough of that, thank you. I just was coming down with the flu. I will be ok to go back tomarrow. I go back to working 12 hr shifts. I only have 3 to pull, then 3 days off. This is after working 5 half sick with 2 days off sick. I still have sick time, lots, on the books after all my leave for the surgery.
So I am luckier than most.
I worry I am using all the energy I have to work, my work is somewhat stressful. I try to walk on my breaks and not lay down all the time when I get a chance. I had not worked up to pre-surgery, but I was so ill before.

I am so glad your DH seemed to hear what you were saying. This is not the time to fight the world, then come home to more of the same.

Hyster sisters rocks.
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Unread 02-05-2008, 07:35 AM
DH thinks I'm "Milking" my recovery period

I think that it is true that when you begin to feel better both you and your family tend to believe that you are fully recovered. so I think that when we begin to feel better and we begin to do too much and then begin to feel bad, we need to listen to our bodies, and rest when we need to,or whatever else we need to do to pamper ourselves maybe some of the DHs should read some of the ladies experiences so they could understand just how long this process can be. On the issue of sex, I have experienced a high libido level, but I think that sometimes we can overdo it in tnat area also, sometimes this might be the most difficult area for DH to understand. sometimes after sex I just dont feel myself and there is dull pain and I feel that I need to let my body rest even though my libido may be high, DH has been understanding in this, and I think this approach on his part has bought us closer together. I hope it continues.. Also ladies I have noticed that when I am pampered, it makes me more frisky, I guess thats norm mayb I have never experienced this much pampering. I would like to hear others thoughts on this issue

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