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Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008 Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

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  #61  
Unread 02-12-2008, 09:48 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

(((ladies)))

Just a gentle reminder ~ if you have any questions about your recovery, please start a new thread so all our post-op members can see it and have the opportunity to respond ~ particularly those who are further post-op and have more experience to share. This is the best way to get support! Please check out Princess Bea Well's introduction on this thread for further information.

Sending all good wishes and thanks for your understanding!

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  #62  
Unread 02-12-2008, 10:16 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

Thanks so much LovesToRun,

I think of you and everyone else here every day too. You are right - no one knows what we are going thru unless they have had the same experience. No one else in my family and none of my friends have had to go thru with this, so they all seem uncomfortable dicussing it, or just disregard as some simple "female issue".

I am always glad to see you posts, and was worried about the breathing problems. I sure hope that is nothing serious.

This board has definitely been a godsend. I am so glad that we all have each other to lean on.

Much love to all!!
(and Fia - enjoy that gorgeous weather! I am very envious)

~karen
  #63  
Unread 02-12-2008, 11:00 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

Fia,

I SO want your weather!! I'm in Seattle, and today is actually a "nice" day for us. It's not raining!! woo hoo! It's cloudy and 45 degrees, but I can see a glimse of brightness coming through the clouds.... in Seattle, we aren't too familiar with what that "bright" thing in the sky is, but last i heard, it was called the sun. haha.

I LOVE hot weather.... I was meant to live in hot weather, but my life journey has always plopped me in cold, wet and overcast states. Oh well.... this is why we travel a lot!

This is really off topic, but just had to say it.... right now, there is a wood pecker pecking on our chimney. But he's pecking on the metal part of the chimney that is at the very top where the smoke actually comes out of. It sounds like there is a machine gun going off in my house!! HAHA!! It makes me wonder if wood peckers have brains..... aren't they supposed to peck wood and peck at the ground where they can find bugs to eat? haha! This wood pecker is pecking on metal.... not going to get many bugs out of that.

Anyway, I'm sitting here in my house all alone and my fireplace is just 5 feet from me, and seriously, it sounds like there is a machine gun going off in my fire place. haha. This happens a lot, though... we have a lot of wood peckers around.

Anyway, I realize that is about as far off topic from a hysterectomy as you can get, but since I'm laying here recovering, I thought I'd just share what I'm listening to, and wondering how big a wood pecker's brain really is. haha.

Karen, I'm glad you also love this board! I still remember back in October when a hysterectomy was FIRST recommended to me, and I was unsure, I got on the interenet and started to research. Google would always find links to this "hystersister" site, and I'd read what was in the link and find it interesting and helpful, but I'd always think, "what is this hystersister thing?" haha. Anyway, December I had finally decided to book my surgery date, and the "hystersister" name kept up coming up in my mind, and it was bugging me, so I finally went to the site to really figure out what this hysteresister thing was all about, and I was hooked ever since!! :-)

I'm so happy for this site. Thanks to the ladies who started this year ago!

Take care everyone. I'll let you know how my doc. appointment goes today. (I'll post it on the forum since I had posted about it to everyone yesterday).

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  #64  
Unread 02-12-2008, 11:02 AM
teachable moments

Hello Hyster Friends. I've been reading some of your posts concerning people's reactions to your surgery at work. Recently I went back to school & picked up courses in leadership, management & organizational behaviors. Many companies are more project oriented than people oriented. Therefore, what may seem like common curtesy is a big leap for most people.

It's been found that the more successful companies are those which have leaders & staff with high emotional intelligence (EI). However, while EI can be intuitive often most aspects of it are learned and should be reinforced on a regular basis. It's like wanting a child to have & show manners when they have not learned what that entails & the behaviors are not reinforced.

All of this means that you may be expecting too much & assuming that people have an understanding that they do not. In my job I work hard to establish relationships with coworkers some more than others based their needs & mine proffesionally, & sometimes personally. When I have the time to do things like cook for everyone for instance, I do so. It establishes a certain bond though it is not technically within my job job description. I also show daily concern and offer encouragment with both their personal & proffessional successes. As a result, they have begun to do the same for others & me. My boss has commented several times that she doesn't get how people feel so close to me as I am ancillary staff & I travel to several sites each week. She said that she wished she could feel comfortable establishing those types of bonds. My answer was that she could do so. It is hard work & time consumming but so worth it.

What you've experienced is painful but it it all presents an opportunity to let go of the ill will & work establishing new and amazing relationships @ work. As a matter of fact, I have had people wanting to camp out at the hospital, they threw a please come back after surgery party & one of my coworkers drove me home out of her way seventy-five miles.

These are relationships though that I've been cultivating for a number of years. I love teachable moments. What grand insight & opportunities they offer us for positive change.
  #65  
Unread 02-12-2008, 11:48 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

What great advice Luva!

I totally agree with your approach and wish everyone was such a good manager like you. I have done a bit of that myself in my past programs, but I have only been with this new group since early November, so not much time for bonding. Plus we are all highly technical and project oriented, mostly engineers and other scientists, working in a compartmented top secret environment (no easy access to the internet or unclass phones) and 80% male. I guess those demographics don't make for much of a warm and fuzzy workplace, lol. Sheesh, now that i think about it - WHAT WAS I THINKING?? I should be thankful that they remember my name. Ouch - that was me laughing to myself and making my belly hurt.

Anyway - congrats to you and your success with your people. I hope they appreciate you!!

Just a bit ago, I did talk to a friend who works for a sub-contractor on my program and he said that my name comes up each day in the "morning standup meeting", and folks ask if anyone has heard from me. He spoke to one of the guys afterwards and found out the they don't want to "invade my privacy". Which makes sense given the circumstances. That may be the case for others who have not received the attention from their co-workers that they may have expected.

How i ramble away... Now back to the regularly scheduled BM conversation, lol
  #66  
Unread 02-12-2008, 12:03 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

I love checking this board! lol the woodpecker is hilarious! Right now as i type myGolden Retriever is outside, sitting on the deck, catching snow flakes and eating them. Logan absolutely loves the snow, so he goes out every chance i give him and rolls in it, eats it, he will even push enough snow together with his nose to make a ball then fip it in the air. Of course he then looks around wondering where the heck it went! lol. Keeps me laughing too.
As for work.. better late than never i guess, i did recieve flowers today from the office with a card signed by everyone. It is a very small office, 2 drs and 8 staff, so we are closer than a lot of corporate places im sure. But all in all, still the people who understand the best are those going thru it with you.. who else would talk endlessly with you about BMs and gas pains! lol.. I took a 2 hour nap,was feeling pretty sore and emotionally drained, but ive woken up feeling better, you guys are part of the reason.
Thanks!
Paula
  #67  
Unread 02-12-2008, 12:06 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

HAHA!! Isn't it funny how in our "real lives" we are in the coporate world, or in my case running volunteer programs, and basically doing responsible adult things, and probably spend our time in meetings, strategizing, planning, dealing with politics, and using our brains.... and then we have hysterectomies, and we talk about how wonderful it was that we had a BM today!!!

Ok, now I"M laughing out loud! OUCH!!

Anyway, just wanted to say re: this whole topic that I have also found that when people do not understand what you are going through because they've never been through it, OR in the case of a guy, they just kind of "freeze" when it has to do with the female body, often human nature's way of reacting is to avoid. I know.... strange... but I find when people don't understand or they are uncomfortable because of the nature of the topic, they tend to just avoid all together.

I think it has to do with we all love to be in our comfort zone. But, when a co-worker has surgery, let alone a hysterectomy, and 80% of the peers at work are male, they have two choices.... 1) to stay in their own comfort zone and avoid the topic all together because they don't understand what you're going through and it's a female issue or 2) step OUT of their comfort zone and acknowledge that you are out recovering and asking how you are doing.

I have found, especially with guys, they almost wish they never knew I had surgery. haha.

I have lots of guy friends that I run and go cycling with. As of last October, I started to bail out on group runs and group rides because of my uterus issues.... my uterus was slowing me down and causing me pain. So, I'd just often tell the guys, "oh, I'm not feeling well today... you go ahead without me." or I'd just say, "I'm busy... can't run with you tomorrow."

Then, I fianlly told several of these guys I was having surgery about a week before my surgery. A few of them did show concern and asked me what kiind of surgery, and when I told them, they didn't seem uncomfortable.

But, a couple other guys (haha), I said, "I'm having abdominal surgery, so I'm out from running and cycling for a couple months for sure." One guys just said, "good luck" and haven't heard from him since. Another guy said, "oh, that sounds bad.... what kind of surgery." Then, I said, "a hysterectomy and appendectomy." He then gave me a look that was PRICELESS.... I wish I had it on film. His look was, "I WISH I had never asked...." haha.

I haven't heard from him either.... and it's no big deal to me. They are just running buddies.... they are my "body guards" as I call it. haha!! I don't like to run by myself.... too many scary crazy people out in this world these days.

So, anyway.... that said, I just look at it as they are guys, and they are going out of their comfort zone to try to understand a hysterectomy let alone ask me about it. So, when they don't ask, it doesn't phase me....

This is a great conversation!
  #68  
Unread 02-12-2008, 12:11 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

Ok, another random thing....

I am discovering right now as I type that the Ellen Degeneris Show and a fresh TAH do NOT mix.

I've never watched so much daytime TV in my life, but she is FUNNY..... oh my goodness.... I hope I don't split my incision!

  #69  
Unread 02-12-2008, 12:14 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 04-Feb 11,2008

Along that same line, I told the most 'senior " dr in my office i had to have the hsyterectomy. We were in the middle of a software conversion and so i told him i wouldnt do it for at least 5 weeks so we could get acclimated to the software. When i sat down with our Jr. Dr. he said "told me you had to have a "procedure" down..lol. but didnt tell me what kind." Protecting my privacy to some degree, but truly he was very very uncomfortable with the situation, our Jr. dr. has been the most helpful in getting things accomplished quicklyso i could leave comfortably.
And another suprise in all of this, my son, who just turned 30 has been so helpful! He took me to the drs appt yesterday, was the first person outsidesof my DH at the hospital, has called every day to see how I am. Make you feel like you did something right raising your kids when you see that kind of behavior!
  #70  
Unread 02-12-2008, 01:27 PM
MsCarla2u

Hello everyone!

i just signed in today and was so glad to read everyone's comments. I am sorry to Karen and Paula for your associates bad judgment, but don't let that consume your thoughts we are to have positive thoughts to help us heal properly.

I am sure you both know that you are cared for by the people who really matter in your lives. Now onto more positve remarks, this is day 5 post op for me and I am doing pretty well. My DH and daughters are so wonderful, I was beginning to worry about not having BM yet, but my other sisters who have had this surgery and did not know about HysterSisters also have helped.

They all are sad they did not know about this website when they went through there procedure, so we probably will be getting more members soon. I finally had my first BM yesterday on day 4 I had one and it went well. My DH is an excellent cook and he prepared a regular meal yesterday for dinner and I think this helped get things started. I am drinking plenty of water and walking around the house a lot during the day.

My only concern is my incision seems to be moist in one spot, it have been a strain getting in and out of bed but I am coping. Today has been really good so far and I am just trying to take it one day at a time. I have put away the Percaset and now I'm taking my 800 mil Motrin as requested by the doctor.

I really enjoy this website and getting so much information from you ladies. I will continue to keep everyone posted.

MsCarla2u **SAH** 2-7-08
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