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Maybe I shouldn't be afraid Maybe I shouldn't be afraid

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Unread 02-08-2008, 10:08 PM
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid

And here I was afraid of never getting that ol' feeling again, or interested in meeting anyone, and/or having sex ever again. It has been almost a year now since my surgery and I was wondering when things would go back to normal. I had my hysterectomy for several reasons; one of the many reasons was to illiminate the bleeding from during sex (like lots of bleeding) and the extreme pain afterwards. Now I am finding not one person to say that sex is even better now after a hysterectomy. I guess libido/sex should be the last thing on my mind at least until I get other things worked out (surgery related issues - that is). I wish I knew about this site before my surgery.
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Unread 02-09-2008, 09:45 AM
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid


I'm really sorry that you're among the group of women who find that sex after hysterectomy isn't better. Unfortunately, it is one of the potential risks of surgery. On the Post-Op message board there are threads posted by women who are experiencing better post-op sex, at least initially, but it's human nature not to spend time posting on a support site when things are going well. Here in the Sexual Dysfunction forum you'll get replies exclusively from women who are experiencing or who have experienced long-term sexual dysfunction resulting from surgery as outlined in this thread stickied at the top of this forum: Announcement.

For some of us, the loss of libido is temporary. That was the case for me. The loss of my ovaries and the hormones they produced was the cause of my loss of libido and sex drive. By carefully replacing and balancing hormones my libido did return over time. There can be other causes for missing libido so it's important to discuss your situation and concerns with a doctor who is knowledgeable and willing to help.

There are plenty of resources on this site which can help you have a better understanding of the causes and possible solutions to the problem of sexual dysfunction. I hope you'll have a look at the information and resources linked here: Female Sexual Disorder and the HysterSisters. Having an understanding of the problems can help you have a better discussion with your doctor and will help you be more pro-active in finding a solution. There are answers and there is hope but sometimes it takes being assertive to get the needed help.

We are here to support you along the way.

Unread 02-10-2008, 01:50 PM
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid

Just want to say please don't give up. Speaking for myself I've found it's taken a long time for me to actually want to make love but now nearly four years after I do feel differently. I've made a huge effort to make love once a week and it takes me ages to prepare but once I've started I do enjoy myself and reach a climax. My bloke is understanding and we are happy at our age with our love life.
Please be patient with yourself . I find living a healthy life style has helped me , taking vtamins, eating right, exercise, relaxation etc.
I really believe that love making is an important factor in remaining healthy . I don't take any HRT- my choice .
I've changed a lot since the op, I wish I'd never had it BTW , but they didn't take my brain and I'm determined to relish each day.
Sometimes it's one step forward, some days two steps back..............
Love and hugs
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Unread 02-11-2008, 03:34 PM
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid

I haven't tried having sex yet; I am not in a relationship. I just got scared since reading some of the post regarding sex after surgery. I don't even have a drop of libido in me and between all the weight I gain, the scars, I have lost alot of zest - actually I lost all of my zest for life. Right now I am more relieved that I am single cause I wouldn't want to put someone else through everything I have been going through; like the lack of desire, the pain I still go through, my insomia has gotten worse, the extreme weight gain, and the raging hot-cold, hot-cold cycles I experience dailey. I am 44 yrs old and this is my lowest point in life and I am honestly afraid I won't come back from this and I will grow old alone. This has been so confusing and overwhelming for me.
Unread 02-12-2008, 09:28 AM
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid

I know the stories you read on this site can be scary but please keep in mind that these are not the experiences of everyone. As I mentioned in my previous reply, there are threads on this site by women who are very pleased with sex post-op. Without having tried sex post-hysterectomy there's no way to know how it's going to be for you. It's natural to be concerned that things won't be the same but often those fears turn out to be worry about nothing.

There are forums on this site which can help you with the other concerns you have. For example, lots of women at Hyster Sisters have weight concerns and you can connect with them using this link: Hysteritaville - Wellness Post Hysterectomy. There are also four different message boards to explore for help with menopause symptoms. One is sure to fit your circumstances (ovaries, no ovaries, hormones, no hormones). You can find them using this link: Hormone/No-Hormone message boards.

This site also has a forum called Aching Hearts which is a great place to get support for the many emotions experienced felt over the loss of the uterus and/or ability to bear children. You can find that forum, if you want to visit it, using this link: Aching Hearts.

You're in good company at Hyster Sisters and we look forward to getting to know you better around the site.


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