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New and scared about return to intimacy New and scared about return to intimacy

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  #11  
Unread 02-16-2008, 12:00 AM
New and scared about return to intimacy

Havaheart,
You'll wait until your ready sweetie! I was totally comfortable trying out intimacy again! After 4 weeks I was getting a bit grouchy! When you feel the time is right, it will be great! If you had a great sex life before the hysterectomy, you'll have a great sex life afterwards! Take it slow and easy and it will be sweet. Patience is a virtue
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  #12  
Unread 02-17-2008, 11:13 AM
New and scared about return to intimacy

I was cleared to have sex at the 6 week mark...and I was very scared. It honestly felt like I was a virgin all over again, except I was more worried about it hurting then feeling good. And my husband was not quite as understanding; he was more worried about his um, 'feelings' then mine.

Before I had the problems that caused me to have the hysterectomy (fibroids, adenoymisis, etc) I liked and enjoyed sex. Now I think I could live without it.
  #13  
Unread 02-17-2008, 11:28 AM
New and scared about return to intimacy

Sissie,
I'm sorry you feel this way. Talk to your husband and tell him how hurt you were that he wasn't understanding to your needs. Encourage him to show tenderness and concern for you, because men forget that. I have a wonderful husband, but yes he can be emotionally constipated at times. The truth is, men can be butt heads, and hurt our feelings. Whenever I feel my DH is being inconsiderate to my feelings I tell him nicely and sweetly. That usually does the trick. If he still wants to be stubborn, I then go shopping and by an expensive pair of shoes! I have a lot of shoes.
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  #14  
Unread 02-17-2008, 11:40 AM
New and scared about return to intimacy

  Quote:
Originally Posted by dschuman69
Sissie,
I'm sorry you feel this way. Talk to your husband and tell him how hurt you were that he wasn't understanding to your needs. Encourage him to show tenderness and concern for you, because men forget that. I have a wonderful husband, but yes he can be emotionally constipated at times. The truth is, men can be butt heads, and hurt our feelings. Whenever I feel my DH is being inconsiderate to my feelings I tell him nicely and sweetly. That usually does the trick. If he still wants to be stubborn, I then go shopping and by an expensive pair of shoes! I have a lot of shoes.
LMAO at the emotionally constipated line! Isnt that the truth! Mine has never exactly been concerned about me during intimacy...I will try to talk to him, but I don't know if it will do any good.

Thank you so much for the suggestion. I am glad I am not the only one who is scared about this...
  #15  
Unread 02-17-2008, 12:14 PM
New and scared about return to intimacy

  Quote:
Originally Posted by PAMELAPOO
I have many question I had a my hysterectomy Jan 8. Is it unusual to feel scared to have sex after 6 weeks, the first time. Also my husband seems to want to stay away, I think he feels he is going to break me or something, that makes me feel left out and hurt, is something wrong with me?
i was very scared - my surgery was 11/28/07 & my "first time" was January 27th - i will be honest, it did hurt, a little, partially (i feel) because we were
both apprehensive (so that probably made BOTH of us a little tense) and I
personally feel it was due to his size, maybe i'm crazy (LOL) but it was easier the second time and it helped that he is so understanding, kind,
gentle, and sweet......i will also tell you this, I wondered "where it went"
lol - ladies dont laugh. but with all those "parts" gone i DID wonder
exactly what happended with his "you know what" but we made it through just fine and heres one more revelation....i just loved the fact we dont have to ever use condoms again

good luck to you ladies struggling about this....to me i find it "freeing"

God Bless
  #16  
Unread 02-17-2008, 07:26 PM
New and scared about return to intimacy

Did anyone else feel sore the day after, or like they had been ripped???
  #17  
Unread 02-17-2008, 09:10 PM
New and scared about return to intimacy

I was cleared at 4 weeks and waited until 5. I was nervous but DH and I made it very special. We went to a nice B&B with fireplace and jacuzzi in the room. We had a nice dinner and champagne followed by massages and the rest fell into place. I was nervous but once it happened it was wonderful and I wondered why I was so nervous...We had to keep the penetration at a minimum but I think a lot of the tenderness was not due to surgery, it was due to inactivity in that area for over a month...haha

I would say just take it easy and make it special...
  #18  
Unread 02-17-2008, 09:13 PM
New and scared about return to intimacy

Sissie,

I am the day after and I feel fine. Actually this is the first day that I have felt normal! I am not tired, the incision twinges do not bother me and I slept like a baby!

It is like the reunion jumpstarted me. Because it went so well, it just emphasized that much more that I made the right decision...
  #19  
Unread 02-17-2008, 09:15 PM
New and scared about return to intimacy

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharonagail46
i will also tell you this, I wondered "where it went"
lol - ladies dont laugh. but with all those "parts" gone i DID wonder
exactly what happended with his "you know what"
I wondered this too and quickly found out! Just a word of caution to those haven't taken the plunge yet. Have a towel ready...sorry for being so graphic!
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