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Question about intimacy and stuff in general.. Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

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Unread 02-12-2008, 06:58 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

I had my hysterectomy Jan 2, 2008. It was the laproscopic kind. I am back at work as of last week...was kinda back a week or so before. I felt so much better after the surgery then I did before, if I hadn't had bronchitis, I probably would have over done it. But I have a few questions and wonder if this is normal or what others have experienced...

1) My belly is not going down. I only have 2 pairs of pants that I can wear, and pre-op they were loose. I have lost a few pounds, as I am dieting, trying to lose the weight I have gained over the past 3 years, and they still won't fit right. Anyone else have that problem? How long before they will fit?

2) My dr. told me 1/30/08 that in two weeks I can be back at full activity..meaning s-e-x. Hubby is delighted; I am scared to pieces. Is it going to hurt? And the last thing on my mind right now is hanky panky. Did anyone else have this fear? If so, was it justified? Was intimacy ok afterwards or was it different? I feel more affectionate towards my husband, but don't know if I am ready to do the deed.

3) Since my dr. said full activity, can I exercise?? I want to lose some weight and am only going to do so by exercising....

Thanks ya'll!
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Unread 02-12-2008, 07:37 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

Hi Sissie
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well with your recovery. It sounds like you're almost there. The swelly belly you mention is one of the last things to go and how long it takes is different with all of us. Those tissues are still healing, even though your incisions may be closed up nicely. Activity tends to make it worse and the more you do, the more you are likely to experience it. Many women have the swelling for several months. I think it's a good idea to make your peace with it, buy some more pants that fit you comfortably and prepare to give it some time to clear up. At least there are lots of great clearance sales right now.

Being nervous about sex is very common. Try not to worry about it, but do talk to your dh about how you feel. Make plans to make it special. You don't want to rush it. I think nervousness alone can make it more difficult for our bodies to respond like we need them to. There is a Post op Sex Checkpoint with a lot of good information that I hope will help you overcome some of your fears and also to make it a good experience for you both. I had a lot of work done and was very nervous. It turned out very good. I had soreness for quite a while, but nothing bad. That first time you will both probably be a little nervous, don't have your expectations be too high, but know that with each week it should get better.

I would think full activity means exercise too. I want to caution you to take it slowly. Don't try to add everything you did before surgery to your life all at once. My dr told me to begin slowly adding things back into my routine. If you try to do it all at once you may end up discouraged by how tired you are. You could even be in pain again. Your body will continue to send you messages when you over do. The secret is to find a good pace that works for you and fits where you are in your recovery. I know I found that little by little I was adding things back in and soon I was 'normal'.

I hope everything goes well for you. Keep us posted on your progress.
's, Rita
Unread 02-12-2008, 07:40 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

I had a tah/so and had quite a swelly belly for awhile. It did get better day by day but would get more swollen by each evening. It would get tender & swollen whenever I was more active too. ( & I tend to be active ). I wasn't comfortable in jeans for a couple of months. I mainly wore elastic waisted pants or loose jumper type dresses. Light support undies helped.

I was a bit worried about my first time to resume intimacy with my DH too. We went slow and easy and it all worked out ok. I was a bit tender at first but it got better with time too Maybe you should discuss your concerns with your DH? Hopefully he will understand and be willing to go slowly

I was released to resume normal activities at 6 weeks post-op. I waited another week as I was still pretty sore. Then I listened to my body - if it hurt, I eased up. But, I was clog dancing at the end of 7 weeks, slower and not so bouncy at first - but dancin'

Don't rush things, you'll know when you're ready.

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Unread 02-12-2008, 09:22 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

Morning Ladies- I too was worried about having sex with my DH. We tried it last night- it was sort of uncomfortable at first but then found a more comfortable position for me. It was ok. I had slight pain afterwards though that caused me to lay awake most of the night. I took some Motrin, but still feel kind of achy and have a little swelly belly this morning as well. Want to make sure the discomfort afterwards is normal???? I have always thoroughly enjoyed sex and am worried. Any info is greatly appreciated!
Unread 02-12-2008, 09:57 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

Hi all I had an LAVH and was released to everything at 6 weeks. I have gained weight since surgery so I can't tell if I still have swell belly or am just fat. My clothes even my fat clothes still fit differently

My boyfriend and I got down to business as soon as released. He started with a finger first which probably helped us. I had no pain, although it is tighter and somewhat different. He was thrilled after the fear of hurting me went away. Still plenty of "O"'s all around!! So for me it all works sorry if TMI and I recomend just slow, gentle and lots of talking about what you both are thinking and feeling!

I started exercising at 6 weeks. I went back at 20 minutes and worked quickly up to 30- I was doing an hour aerobic before surgery. I am also at about 1/2 the intensity and doing arms and abd. at much lower weights. I figure it took me months to get into my pre-surgery level of fitness and will take me months to get back there. I have lots of tiredness, but no pain at all. I promised myself I would stop if I started to hurt.

rnv269- by my calandar you are not 4 full weeks out. Did you keep your cervix and were you released by your doctor?? I had "outer play" at 4 weeks and it was great. You might want to just hold off a little longer on penetration. If you haven't been release STOP NOW- you could hurt something.

Good luck with all your healing
Unread 02-12-2008, 10:15 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

I had a two checkup (no pelvic exam) and he said I had to wait until 4 weeks- which is tomorrow- for sex . I may just wait another week and see how things go then. I just wondered if I should expect it to be a little painful afterward or not?
Unread 02-12-2008, 11:09 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

Hey ya'll! Thanks so much for responding..I am glad to hear I was not the only one worried about things...I had my cervix removed too and didn't realize that was going to be gone and didn't know how that would affect things. Hubby is really looking forward to 'it' as I was hurting so much before hand that we could not do anything before the surgery.....

Thank you all...ya'll are a great source of comfort during all of this!
Unread 02-12-2008, 11:13 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

My husband could not tell that my cervix is gone. But then again, he is just so happy he is allowed back in the amusement park, all the rides are fun!

Unread 02-12-2008, 11:36 AM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

LOL at the amusement park comment!

I don't even know what the cervix was for! Isn't that sad? I still have my ovaries...

I wonder if things still work like they did before??
Unread 02-12-2008, 01:53 PM
Question about intimacy and stuff in general..

I am 5 weeks post-op and yes I guess I will have to come to terms with Swelly Belly as I had a TAH and it appears it could be around for a bit....geez I sure hope it is gone by Spring.

I most likely will not let DH near me for a few more weeks....I still am discharging a bit and will wait until that totally clears and I feel "right".

We have had some fun though and I have had a few O's and they are almost "right" but there is a little something missing to them and I am hoping it is because I am still healing, tender and thinking about it all too much.

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