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Post Op Depression Post Op Depression

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  #11  
Unread 02-14-2008, 11:34 AM
Post Op Depression

Looking for info on post-hysterectomy depression was how I found this site after my surgery. I really felt like I was going thru post-partum depression all over again and when I mentioned it to my dr. she felt it was related to my "hormones crashing" and started me on HRT, even though I still have one ovary. Ultimately I ended up having to increase my Wellbutrin as well and the combination seems to be helping.

Gregarious, I can sure hear you when you talk about how much easier it is to be positive etc. when you're on meds. Every time I try to get off them, it makes me realize that I really am dependant on them, despite my best efforts at positive thinking etc.

I'm so glad to hear others say what I've been feeling all along. I am frustrated trying to explain to people that when you are in this pit of depression you can not just be "distracted" out of it. It's partly that frustration, along with not even liking my own company let alone imposing it on other people, that makes me feel like I need to withdraw even more from other people. It's such a vicious circle.

My recovery from surgery has been so much slower than either I, my friends or my doctors ever expected and I think in large part it is related to the non-stop crying that I did for the first 6 weeks post-op. It's totally exhausting and takes energy that really needs to be directed elsewhere for healing. I'd never had surgery before so was totally unprepared for the MAJOR depression it triggered.

When I went to the GYN/ONC for my pre-op visit, he asked if my depression was under control. I told him "yes" and truly believed it. Boy was I in for surprise when I started crying the day after surgery...and that was just the beginning of the slow spiral down into "the pit".

Thanks for sharing your experiences. It makes it so much easier to handle all this when you're not feeling like a total freak for having all these reactions and feeling like you're the only one. So far, everyone I've talked to locally, before and after surgery, says they didn't have this kind of problem post-op, so it's made me feel that much worse about "being like this". I really appreciate you all talking about it so frankly.

Good luck to you all. I'm thinking of you!
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  #12  
Unread 02-14-2008, 12:16 PM
Post Op Depression

Hi YogaPT!
Wow! I am glad I posted since the response has been so supportive. We do need each other. We should start a "Pollyanna Society" for people like us who many perceive to be the most "together" individuals on earth because of our finely tuned "masks" and "acts."

Funny how we can tell someone else our depression is under control yet we are always questioning that in our own minds.

I once commented to my shrink that it troubles me that I am so dependent on anti-depressants and she pretty much told me that I need to understand that I do need the meds just as a diabetic needs insulin to survive and to accept the fact that this is a life-long journey.

Instead of seeing my dpression as a handicap I try to use it to help others. It never ceases to amaze me how easily I can spot depression in others, often before they realize it themselves. I've had complete strangers open up to me and share the most personal of details, unsolicited. It is not unusual for some of these people to admit they are startled with their own frankness and become embarrassed when they realize how much they've revealed.

I am a journalist by profession so I am an expert interviewer, but in these situations I do not have to ask a single question to learn about some people. I consider this a gift. People can open up to me and I can respond with something useful because I know what it is like to hit rock bottom.

My upbeat attitude and determination had me out of the hospital in two days and I shocked everyone by recovering in good spirits. It was three months later that the post-partum-like depression set in. All of these posts have helped me considerably both in the kinship I have found with all of you and knowing there are other people on this island where my ship wrecked.
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