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Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!! Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

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Unread 02-13-2008, 09:18 AM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hi Ladies,

I hate to come on here and vent. I just want to come and be supportive and share a good experience. But right now I am so sad and frustrated and consumed with the "why me"!!!

I'm still in the hospital from my emergency surgery last week from my abscess and losing my ovaries, tubes and apendix. I've been here since Wed the 6th. I cry because I am just starting my recovery over - again!!! I have had I think every complication there is since my original sugery and I just don't get it. Plus currently when I look down and see my enormous bloated belly with my huge abdominal incision I feel disfigured. I cannot imagine feeling happy and normal again. I am scared to death of what will happen without my ovaries and I just feel helpless and like crying al the time. I want to go home so bad but I think I will still be here a few more days.

Please - I would love to hear from anyone who suffered mutliple sugeries or complications - how did you get through it?? How does a person not be terrified?? I keep thinking now - what if I have complications from this surgery. I can't take anymore!!

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Unread 02-13-2008, 09:48 AM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hey there Starbgirl

I did not have multiple surgeries, but I wanted you to know that I have been praying for you.

While I do not know exactly how you feel, I will share this expereince. I had my hyst on January 11th and during that surgery they nicked my bladder. No huge problem there. They repaired it and I went home with a foley catheter for 18 days. On day 14, the bag started to fill with blood and I tried to keep it together. I have not been emotional at all during this whole thing (treatments and surgery).

All of a sudden - out of nowhere - I thought "Something is wrong with my bladder repair and they are gonna cut me open again." AND I LOST IT!!!! I cried. The emergency (on the phone) could not even understand what I was saying at that point.

Here's what I know - if the thought of another surgery could freak me out like that, I know that you have to be sad/frustrated/mad and anything else that might be negative.

We try to brave it out. We try to keep a positive outlook, but you know what - we are human and sometimes you just get down.

I am a woman of faith and I Fully Rely On GOD - and even with my faith, my experience got me down. Fortunantly for me, mine only lasted minutes because after I freaked out, I started to pray and that is what I am going to continue to do for you.

I prayed for your recovery, but now I know that you need more than that.

GOD, how I thank you for my hyster sister - Starbgirl - because she is one of your children and she is one of my hyster sisters. I ask you to bless her in all the ways that she stands in need of. I know that she has experienced a setback, but I know you to be ther GREAT PHYSICIAN. You are a heart fixer and a mind regulater. I rebuke the enemy on her behalf and ask that you come in and bring peace and healing. She is in pain and I know that you can fix it. I claim victory for Starbgirl in the Matchless Name of JESUS. Amen. Amen. Amen.
Unread 02-13-2008, 10:21 AM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Amen and Amen.

We are here to support you starbgirl!
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Unread 02-13-2008, 10:30 AM

Hang in there kiddo...God Bless you...Denise.
Unread 02-13-2008, 12:27 PM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hey StarbGirl,
You are in my thoughts....hang in there sister. I wish I had some advice, just know we're all pulling for you!
Unread 02-13-2008, 12:54 PM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Renee, Allie, Denise & Beth,

Thank you so much for your prayers, kind words and thoughts. They mean so much to me. I know this whole experience will be behind me at some point. I am also very worried about being a single mom and the financial aspect of 2 major surgeries so close together and missing so much work.

I had to stop writing for a minute as my Dr just came in to see me and he told me that if I do well with eating through dinner I can go home tonight!! I am so thrilled.



Unread 02-13-2008, 01:43 PM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I Hope you have a wonderful dinner and find yourself in the comfort of your own home tonight.
As the financial worries come to your mind. Try not to let them get you down. Remember there are always assitance programs to help. Make sure you ask the nurse to speak to some one about it.

One day at a time Starbgirl.
Best Wishes
Unread 02-13-2008, 04:02 PM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hey coffee girl, I hope you are home now and on the road to final recovery. Don't worry about the bills, you can make a payment plan and just pay for the rest of your life!!!!!!!! I had breast cancer 6 years ago with major surgery and multiple surgeries after that and we are still paying for that and now there is my new hysterectomy bill. O'well, it's become a way of life and a forever monthly bill. You need to focus on getting your self better. Find a comfy spot and be a princess. Lots of prayers your way for you to be at peace.
Unread 02-14-2008, 02:58 AM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hey Starbgirl,

I just saw this post... sorry I missed it when you originally posted it. I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you are doing.

If I lived near you, I'd be offereing my help in any way I could. But, while across the internet, I am offering my prayers to you! Know that I am praying for you. I am sure everything will work out! You have so much support here on this forum... trust me.... the women on this forum is really what has helped me get through everything!

Though not all of us have gone through what you are, we can all come around you and comfort you in any way you need. Please continue to write on this forum and share your thoughts, frustrations, desires, and of course about your recovery. We are all here to help and support you.

You are also very fit, so I'm sure your recovery will be easier. :-)

Take care my dear! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

-Love to Run :-)
Unread 02-14-2008, 03:43 AM
Drowning in Sad - Mad and just UGH!!!!

Hi, (((starbgirl))) I hope you're at least home by now and recovering in familiar surroundings. I just wanted to tell you I understand the fear and anger about the complications and all the extra *stuff* that you weren't planning on.

I thought my hysterectomy was going to be the last surgery I would ever need (the only surgeries I'd had before that were oral surgery, eye surgery (detached retina) and adenoidectomy). In fact, that was part of why I elected to have my ovaries removed at the same time - I did NOT want to be back in the hospital again having them out, too. Well... through a cruel twist of fate, I got very sick just under a month post op from the hysterectomy with diverticulitis. And again. And again a year later. All that meant that one year after my hysterectomy, I was in the hospital five days after having most of my colon removed. And the bit about being so glad I'd had a TVH because I had no scars... well, now I have a real beaut - from breastbone to pubic bone. Five years later it is still a constant reminder.

As if that wasn't enough, the following year (so now 2 years post hysterectomy) I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a lumpectomy. And then two years after that, AGAIN - a lumpectomy and radiation.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, I was lucky enough to experience a rare complication of A&P repairs called a vaginal adhesion, which meant another vaginal repair surgery a couple of months after the hysterectomy.

So, yeah, I'm mad, sad and all of that. I try not to dwell on it too much, but that's hard because there's no denying I don't feel the same as I did before. HRTs have helped me feel OK hormone-wise, but I have a huge tummy full of scar tissue and some disfigurement of the one breast (not as bad as it could be, but still, it's upsetting to me.

The only thing I can say is, when you get home, if your DR allows, you can drown your sorrows in caramel macchiatos or whatever your poison is. I'll share a virtual cup with ya.

Let's hope it only gets better from here, OK?


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