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I don't miss my uterus, is that weird? I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

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  #1  
Unread 02-24-2008, 06:20 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

First I want to say, my heart breaks for any woman who has to give up her uterus when she still hoped for pregnancy. I can totally understand grieving deeply for that.

On the other hand, after reading posts on this board, I'm sort of questioning if I'm missing a cog somewhere. I didn't actually need a hysterectomy. I had uterine prolapse and rectocele. When my surgeon talked to me about what he needed to do, he said he didn't need to take my uterus, he could just re-suspend it. I asked him if there was any benefit to keeping it and he said no, so I said take it, it will leave me one less place to develop problems later. I'm 39, have two different auto-immune diseases, and my husband has had a vasectomy, I'm definitely done with my uterus and being done with periods sounds wonderful. I did have heavy, crampy, painful periods, but the re-suspension might have helped that and they weren't to the point of being debilitating.

Most of all, surgery is a real problem for me. For a planned surgery, I have to go off all my medication for rheumatoid arthritis for a month before and after, so if having my uterus out now meant I can avoid another surgery later, why not get it over with in one shot. Believe me, this recovery is not something I want to do again, I can't wait to get back on my regular medication!

So am I missing something? Should I be upset to have lost my uterus? I've been accused before of being made of ice or being good at burying feelings, maybe I should be grieving more or something. Am I the only one this doesn't bother? Or am I going to wake up one morning with my back in crippling knots because I haven't addressed my loss?
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  #2  
Unread 02-24-2008, 07:12 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

Hi snowy_owl

It is not weird. I too read the posts and feel deeply for women who are grieving this process.

I don't happen to be one of them and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. Each of us come into this with unique expereinces and expectations. I am a 42 year old virgin, BY CHOICE and had this surgery to resolve a major bleeding issue.

So do I miss my uterus, heck no. My uterus served as the residence for a HUGE (my uninvited guest).

I don't minimize anyone elses expereince or their feeling of loss, I simply don't share it. Others may find that weird or like you said being made of ice or burying feelings, but I do not think so. To know me is to understand that I am very open about my feelings and thoughts. The thing that I value is the GOD has made us all unique and that blessing allows us to feel very differently about a very similar experience.

Blessings on you ......
  #3  
Unread 02-24-2008, 07:14 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! I don't miss my uterus, cervix, or especially my periods; and I don't feel any less of a woman.
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  #4  
Unread 02-24-2008, 07:29 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

If you're weird, then I am too. When the doc recommended the hyst I was scared of course, but also relieved to just be rid of what was a useless organ for me. My not wanting to preserve my fertility was of course a major factor in his treatment decisions. I could have opted for myomectomy but I believe that's pretty much as invasive a surgery, and then I'd most likely have to go through this again when the fibroids came back. I've just never had any sort of maternal instinct, and I am getting too old now anyway. I also know several other women who don't desire children. I don't think we're , just not maternal and there's nothing wrong with that, no everyone is. I was just hoping that I didn't suddenly get maternal now that it's too late! So far, no change Like you, my heart goes out to those women who have that terrible emotional burden on top of the physical turmoil of major surgery.
  #5  
Unread 02-24-2008, 07:30 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

I agree with you ladies...I don't miss mine. For the last few years I suffered severe pain and was anemic.My blood level was all the way down to 4.9 last April.This surgery has been a blessing to me. I already feel so much better.
I do feel the heartache of others though. I have a friend who is in her late 20's and has been trying for years to have a child.She had a hysterectomy a couple of months before mine without ever being able to have a baby. I am a mother of 2 and I also suffered a miscarriage.These are times I feel we can just lean on the lord and he will pull us through.
God bless you all.
Faith
  #6  
Unread 02-24-2008, 07:54 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

I just wanted to clarify something.

My choice did not have anything to do with wanting children or a maternal instinct. I always wanted children. I love them and that is why I believe that GOD called me into Children and Youth Ministry.

My choice was to wait for the person that GOD has for me. Either I missed him or he hasn't been sent to me yet. EIther way, I'm waiting. That said, at 42 years of age - If he showed up right this minute - I would not consider having a child now.

No less a woman. More than a conquerer. Waiting on The LORD.
  #7  
Unread 02-24-2008, 08:02 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

Renee
It is nice to see someone else who is waiting on God for that special someone. Even though I have been married, I now know it wasn't the one God had chosen...just the one I thought I wanted.I have been divorced for 15 years and I am always having family and friends ask when I am getting married again. I have said all these years that God would have to send the right one to my doorstep because I haven't been looking. I spend most of my time working,caring for my mother, and attending our small country church,where I teach sunday school. I feel that God knows what is going to happen in my life so I will leave the rest of the time I have here on earth up to him. My mom always says God does answer our prayers..maybe not when we want him to or even when we want him to. Gd bless you.
Faith
  #8  
Unread 02-24-2008, 08:06 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

My sister didn't want any more children, either; but she was kind of depressed about having a hysterectomy. I was more than ready to have it! My periods had just gotten so out of control. BC pills weren't stopping them or even slowing them down.
  #9  
Unread 02-24-2008, 08:14 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

I certainly do not miss mine. When they wheeled me into the OR, I told my DH and MIL "Good Riddance Uterus and all of the problems you have caused me". When I was younger I wanted children of my own. I am older now, don't have children of my own, but have 2 step sons, and don't feel any different about that. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We may not the reason at the time but it will become clear later in life.
  #10  
Unread 02-24-2008, 08:31 AM
I don't miss my uterus, is that weird?

Everyone is different. Being 52 with cancer of the uterus, it was a no brainer for me. Interestingly enough, I remember "in the olden days" when I had two c sections for my now glorious 22 & 25 year olds, someone asked if I felt a loss that I had not gone thru a normal birth, that I had missed out on a normal and vital function of reproduction. Heck no! I am here now a third time because of modern medicine. These surgerys have a purpose. I would like to believe that most drs do not do them as an easy way out. They do it for survival and quality of life. Granted I have children, I can't imagine that being taken away from me. But, survival and quality of life to me take precident over all (easy for me to say).

In any respect, there is no reason to feel guilty cause you feel the way you do. This journey is a very personal experience which you need to allow yourself to feel.
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