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Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008 Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

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  #711  
Unread 05-21-2008, 06:18 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

About this swelly belly! My sister-in-law had everything removed abdomonally about 12 years ago and does not remember having a problem wlith a swelly belly?!?! Maybe she just forgets....wow there is a good thought...to be down the road and to have forgotten about how long this process actually takes!

take care...all
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  #712  
Unread 05-21-2008, 11:27 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

I too, am so sorry this has happened to you.

Obviously it is up to you whether you want to stay with him or not,
but I just have to say that a "nice man"
would not do this....love does not act like this.

If he needed more sex he should have been honest about it, give you
the option of getting out of the marriage with your dignity or should have got your permission to go get some somewhere else--not the sneaky betrayal, hurtful stuff like this.

I wish you the best with the whole situation, whatever you decide.

June
  #713  
Unread 05-22-2008, 06:39 PM
Unhappy - Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008 Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hi everyone,

I am still alive - Have started counselling and this is helping us both as a couple and individually immensely.

today I am very emotional about it all. He was to go away on business next week (me too) and I was going to have him stay at his mums this week - but you know I couldn't handle the empty house - so lonely.

So we are talking heaps, crying a lot and trying to move forward.

He tells me that the only way he can describe what happened is that he had this wonderful wife and family life on one side of the equation and then this extra sex on the other side.

He also tells me it has nothing to do with our relationship in that it wasn't lacking in any way - it was just the elusive exciting sex thing - apparently they would meet once or twice a month, have great unrestricted sex and then he would get dressed and get out of there, they never went out, never celebrated anything and he said it is like an addiction.

I confronted her very early Monday morning in person giving neither of them anytime to speak before hand so that anything that was said would be off the cuff not premeditated or discussed - and she reiterated the same thing, telling me that Dave loves me dearly and that it was just sex and that she hoped we could sort it out. I NEARLY THUMPED HER OUT!!!

She agreed that he was addicted but that addictions could be broken. I can tell you I was not kind to her or my DH - infact I thumped him so much that I had a sore belly and arm for a day or two. Such rage - not like me at all.

BUT I agree that it has been easier in that not many people know - time to work through the issues and emotions without everyone confusing the issue. It is so personal - so hurtful - I just don't get it.

Anyway onto more IMPORTANT things like SWELLIE BELLIE - I too look like I am at least 4 mths preggie especially by the end of the day - and still ache occasionally - especially after kicking husband in the ribs (nearly broke one ) LOL!!!

I really appreciate all your comments and support - it is really special to me.

Have a great weekend.

Kezza
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  #714  
Unread 05-23-2008, 12:52 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hi Kezza

So sorry to hear your news, Knowing how I still feel after surgery I would not want to face something as devastating as this could be. I am praying for you and hope the end outcome will be the one that really suits you. You must do what you want and not be persuaded by other people, even if they don't agree, it is your life and marriage, you have put a lot into it.

Swelly belly is certainly still a problem, longing to get into my regular clothes again and be comfortable!!

Have a great day

Christine
  #715  
Unread 05-23-2008, 12:59 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

It's so good to hear from you DNK. I am pleased that DH didn't go anywhere. Being apart doesn't solve anything. Yes, I can relate to the crying and yelling and talking, talking, talking. It is something you have to go through and the counselling helps such a lot. If you are apart, there is only resentment and imaginings and wonderings. Questions can't be answered if the other person isn't there!

I'll pray for you both that you will surely gain strength from this and your relationship will undoubtedly alter, but it can definitely be for the better as you will probably both confess to things you would never have said before. From my experience, a deeper more honest level will be reached. Good luck to you both.

My weight is still pinging up and down daily and my belly - well, less said the better! Pain is always there, so I don't think this op has changed anything, which is worrying. Perhaps it is something as simple as my muscles being so buggered up after all the riding last year, as that is when it all started. Maybe the endometriosis was just on top of the enterocele and prolapse, which of course are basically muscle problems (or lack of them!). I need to have a long chat with the consultant when I see him in July as I am not having him take out my ovaries if nothing is definitely going to change afterwards except me hitting menopause...!!!

Hope you are all well, girls, and living life to the full - or as full as you can. I am writing again, which feels good, although I am now behind with my OU work because of it, so feel guilty alongside feeling good...lol

  #716  
Unread 05-23-2008, 06:02 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hey girls:

Long time no post. I'm sorry, it's been busy around here with my son home and the jewelry shows. However, I'm back.

DNK: I am so sorry to hear about your painful news. My first husband was unfaithful, and I completely understand the rage and hurt you are feeling. Regardless of what anyone says, it is very personal and we need to work through those feelings. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you trudge this difficult journey.

My business partner and I had a falling out today. It seems we both let things build up and then blasted one another. I've been feeling emotionally off for the past few days, and I'm wondering if this has been the culperate. We shall see.

I just finished my second round of ointment for a vaginal infection. Not sure what is causing it, but I'm hopeful I've seen the end of it. Poor DH hasn't had much loving for the past several months, but he continues to be a real trooper.

DH is officially on vacation until June 2 and I believe we are planning to do a whole lot of nothing over the next week. We purchased him a 42" flat screen for our bedroom, so he'll be working on mounting it to the wall and figuring out the HD channel line-up. Other than that, he's gonna take it easy.

DS left yesterday to go back to Camp Pendleton. It was nice having him home and knowing he was safe. He'll be back for 20 days in August before he returns to Iraq.

Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry to hear about the ongoing swelly belly. I'm still battling it here and there myself.

s,
  #717  
Unread 05-25-2008, 05:48 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Howdy

Well today is a much better day, I can actually raise a smile. LOL!!

The weekend was very difficult as lots of feelings and thoughts tumbled through that brain of mine - absolute torture, however, we have talked a lot - Onwards you are so spot on, it is a deeper level, more honest, we have revealed on both sides things that have never been told.

DH is struggling and so he should, BUT he is also learning why he needed this side fling - he describes it as having a wonderful wife and family on one side and this bit extra on the other, of having great guilt but not being able to resist.

Apparently he had been trying to end it for quite a while and she had also verified that when we spoke, she told me that he loved me dearly and always spoke about me and how much he loved me - she said that we needed to go and sort our relationship out, that it was only sex for both of them.. Go figure.

Apparently they never went out, never bought anything or celebrated anything, just in out and that was it.

Anyway I had more couselling on the weekend and then felt very sad - such a deep sadness, but we went for a drink at the local pub yesterday afternoon and spoke in depth away from home and we are moving forward. He will see the cousellor this afternoon to further discuss some of his issues and then as a couple on Thursday night.

To everyone - thank you SO much for your thoughts and blessings. It truly puts a smile on my face

Onwards - we seem to have experienced similar issues both with our DS and DH - it is so nice to chat with someone that has an understanding of how it feels. I am so glad we have told so few as I couldn't have handled everyone knowing and watching - it is such a personal thing.

And of course I am probably even more emotional because of the big op and the healing, but you know I do feel really well.

To all you girls out there with our swelly bellies - mine is slowly going except when I do too much, I still have a stinging ache when I lift something that is tooooo heavy but other then that even the tiredness is going away.

Tomorrow I have to be in Bathurst (3 hrs from Home) at 8.00am so will have a very early morning and long day.

Love you all heaps and cherish our chats.

Luv Kezza
  #718  
Unread 05-25-2008, 11:39 PM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hi girls, hope all are well today. I wore my big Bridget Jones knickers yesterday and, guess what? No pelvic pain until the evening when I took them off. So, they were straight in the wash and back on again today! lol Only trouble is, it is not want you want to be wearing in temps of 40 degrees plus!!

DNK I am so pleased you are getting to the heart of the matter. It sure is an emotionally exhausting thing to do and I expect you feel shattered, but it wil be worth it in the end. One thing is for sure - it's going to be odd for your DH, looking at himself from a whole new angle in order to understand why his behaviour was as it was. And for you too, finding ways of being tolerant and understanding things you never thought you could or would want to!!

Well, I have to say, I'm off to M&S tonight to find the biggest strongest knickers I can find, and then I will have to wander around with a little thong in front of them as a decoy...lol

Have a good day!
  #719  
Unread 05-26-2008, 03:54 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Hey girl friends, wow its my 3 month anniversary. I got a shock to read the sites check list with all the possible things that could be wrong with me. I consider myself lucky. I might have a coupla those things but its all good for now.

Its a funny old business with the nickers eh girls. For mothers day my girl bought some nice firm stretchy ones which believe it or not are quite comfy. She got me a matching petticoat (to go with those dresses i bought lol) and now im gonna treat myself to a new bra. They all be black.

I was soooo scared the other day. I had a personal trainer support me to get back into exercising and she had me use a medicine ball and do tummy crunches. My tummy burned down the centre, i guess where the muscles were seperated, BUT i survived! I did 10 the first day and a few more the next. Ill aim to build it up. She had me do a reverse exercise ie lie on the mat on my tummy. I told her apart from rolling over in bed as an experiment I hadnt done this yet. So, yeah she had me lifting my back up to do a reverse exercise. I felt quite confident in her cause she had to get her tummy back after a cesar so shes been there done that got the tshirt. Not expecting a flat tummy like hers though OLLOLOLOLO ... Ladies i do feel quite good though and man ... my lungs work now, no breathlessness! I feel very luck with my new health.

OK off to bed now, so good nite!
  #720  
Unread 05-26-2008, 05:23 AM
Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Good on you sisterkris! You're gonna have a six pack by your six month anniversary!!

Just wondering, didn't very often notice ovulation before the op, but now I certainly do and get sharp searing pains, which I am getting right now. Anyone else noticed a difference in this respect, or am I just an oddity? (obviously this will only be the ladies who still have ovaries...lol)

You know, I really don't know what I would have done without this site. i would have felt so alone and 'at sea'.

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