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Male OBGYN with a female name Male OBGYN with a female name

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Unread 02-29-2008, 07:36 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

Hi Everyone!

I just had my TAH 3 weeks ago and all I've been doing is resting, walking from room to room in our house, visiting this website and watching movies! I've watched about 1,000 movies in 3 weeks....kind of fun....actually some very good ones on the Hallmark and Lifetime movie channels!

My family just moved to a new state and we had to find new doctors. I went to a family physician to get my yearly physical and knew I would need to go to an OBGYN for my suspected fibroid. I told the family doctor about the fibroid and mentioned I would make another appointment to see an OBGYN. A few days later, there was a message on my answering machine that I had an appointment with an OBGYN the next day, that the family doctor staff had made for me without telling me. I was surprised they did this because I always make my own appointments after researching the doctors in my insurance booklets. I went to the website of the OBGYN's office staff to read all about their practice and the doctor that they made the appointment for me with.......was a male doctor with a common, female name. I'm not supposed to mention the actual name of the male doctor, only that his first name is similar to the names of Kelly or Kim. I prefer a woman doctor, so I called that office the next day and rescheduled with a female doctor. If I didn't visit their website, I would have gone to the other appointment assuming I was going to a female OBGYN. I heard that this male doctor is very nice but it seems his first name has been a bit of an obstacle for him.

When I went to my new appointment at that office, I had an ultrasound and was talking to the technician. I told her that I thought the first doctor they scheduled me with was a woman, but was actually a man with a woman's first name. She said that many women make appointments with this doctor, thinking that the doctor is a woman because of the first name, go into the exam room and wait, are expecting a woman doctor to come in walks a male doctor. She said that some women who go for appointments feel duped thinking that they were getting a female doctor.

I got one of the female OBGYN's at that practice who performed my surgery and she is very warm and caring. Their practice is major with a lot of patients and down the street from a massive hospital. I guess the office staff is told not to mention that the doctor is male with a female name unless they are asked, or he would perhaps get fewer patients. There were suggestions among staff members that he change his first name, but that's his given name.

What do you think about this?

Have a good day everyone. Take care.

Peace, Irish Bridie
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Unread 02-29-2008, 09:50 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I think it's unfortunate that this is even an issue. I have had lots of different doctors over my lifetime, some for embarrassing problems other than gyn, and have never preferred one gender over the other.

I think it's rather sexist to have a preference, and in a sort of turnaround, it is the patient who prefers one over the other that is bringing sex into the equation. A doc is not there to look at you sexually, he or she is there to look at you medically. Just like you wouldn't want a random stranger looking up your nose, but you let a doc do that.

As for temperament and understanding, I have had some cold-hearted female doctors and nurses, and some warm and caring male doctors and nurses. I think it depends on the kind of person the doctor is, not their gender.

But to get back to your original duscussion...

I don't see why the office staff would have to mention the doctor's gender just because his name is different from what one would expect. I suppose it would be no different than a doctor whose name was from a language you were not familiar with, and you wouldn't necessarily know what was a female name and what was a male name.
Unread 02-29-2008, 10:42 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I don't think that there's any reason to have to pro-actively disclose the gender of the doctor upfront. If a patient is specifically seeking something in a doctor (whether it be gender, age, specialty, type of training, etc.) then it is the patient's responsibility to specifically ask.

When I was younger, I would only go to female doctors. But these days, I've learned that gender is not the factor that makes me comfortable with my medical care or not. It's how I'm listened to, the skill of the physician and my overall trust in them. And for those things, gender is not a determining factor.
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Unread 03-01-2008, 07:50 AM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I prefer female GYN's since I've retired. I had male ones for the first 52 years of my life and all my kids were delivered by men but when looking for a new GYN when I moved I specifically wanted a female. I see no problem with choosing a doctor by his/her sex. I was going through menopause and thought I woman could relate to some of those issues more easily.

I do not choose any of my other doctors by their sex--- and I happen to have all male doctors. I do research any new doctor and get recommendations from friends etc.

Unread 03-01-2008, 08:39 AM
Male OBGYN with a female name

Hi Irish Bridie,
You bring up a good point here, one does not know the gender of a person by the name itself. There are many names one would think is almost always one gender, but not always. My daughter's first name is one that in this country is female and is fairly common, in other countries it is mainly male. When you check into origins of a name, one might be surprised. Hers somehow became an American version of a male name and in this country, there are male and female versions although most people don't realize the two are intertwined. A person from another country looks at her name and would think male, but misspelled.

If one prefers a doctor of a specific gender, age or whatever, one needs to ask that the doctor doing the referral consider that or we need to call the office and check if this new doctor fits our preferences.

We each have our personal preferences in what we look for in a doctor and what is right for one may not be right for another.

Thanks for reminding us that we can't take gender for granted anymore by the first name.
Unread 03-01-2008, 01:16 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I have alot of experience with this, my DH has a female my standards, not his.

He has learned in my town everyone takes the name as female, I even did before I met him.

We have alot of fun with this, it is better than a boy named "Sue".

As far as doctors go, mines a female because I thought she would be relatable since she has had a TAH.

I understand the shock though, when you think you are getting one, but get the other.

Hope everything works out. Have a great one.
Unread 03-01-2008, 03:51 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

Perhaps, this doctor needs to put his picture in his yellow page ad. That way patient's might have an idea that this doctor is male. I knew what I was getting when I chose my doctor because his picture is everywhere. Of course, he also has a distinctly male name.

I understand why some women may prefer another woman doctor, I think it is a very personal decision. I've actually preferred my male OB/GYNs and found they are more compassionate, understanding, and less dismissive of my complaints. That's not to say there aren't some outstanding female doctors out there, I just haven't met them yet. My current doctor is male, and he never speaks to me as if I am stupid or to be pitied. His female partner, on the other hand, I find very condescending. Don't call me "dear" or "honey" and talk to me like I'm incapable of understanding medical information! I hate that! My male doctor doesn't speak to me that way.

I do think it is only right that the prospective patient be warned that this is a male doctor because the patient has the right to know that before -- surprise! It can be very important to know for many reasons. I hope you find the right doctor for you, male or female.
Unread 03-01-2008, 09:32 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

My name is more common for a male than a female so thats frustrating.

I have a male obgyn and family practitioner. I chose to have a male FP and didnt really have a choice on the obgyn because we only have male ones here in my city (population 50,000). Both of my doctors are wonderful, caring and compasionate and wouldnt trade them for the world.
Unread 03-01-2008, 09:33 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I don't think he should have to advertise that he is a male. Are you going to ask your female doctor if she is a lesbian? I found out that a resident that assisted in one of my deliveries was. That is a much bigger deal to me. I think that is something that should be said upfront before any appt is made. I'm sure there are good female doctors out there somewhere, but I have never found one. Men, in my opinion are much better at caring for women in general. That is how God designed them.
Unread 03-01-2008, 11:46 PM
Male OBGYN with a female name

I have always just chosen a doctor because they were referred to me, or I just knew they were a really good doctor, male or female, so gender does not matter to me at all when it comes to doctors.

But, I would think that if it really did matter to a patient, especially a new patient, that they wanted a female doctor only or a male doctor only that they'd request that when making the appointment. Otherwise, it is kind of a guessing game because it is true that sometimes there are non-gender specific names out there, or foreign names where you may not know if it's male or female because you are not familiar with that culture.

I know for me, one area where I DO care that I get a female is when I get massages. I like to get massages, and I really prefer using a female only because I just feel uncomfortable with a male giving me a full body massage in a dim room with soft music playing and me laying comfortably and relaxed under a blaket with nothing on.... WAYYYY YYYYY different than going to the gynechologist. HAHA!!! So, when I make appointments for a massage, I always say, "I prefer a female".

so, I am guessing if it's really important to the patient to get a certain gender of doctor, then they'd request it. And, I can understand why it'd be important to some patients.... I live in a very multi-cultural area and there are lots of people from cultures where a woman would never go to a male doctor, and so in these cases, I can fully understand why some people would really feel strongly about the gender of the doctor.

I don't know if it's the practice's responsibility to say next to this doctor's name that he's a male, or for the receptionist to just say, "this doctor is a male, just to let you know" .... I think it's the patient's responsibility to request a female doctor if that is what they want. And, I'd hope this particular male doctor has enough bedside mannor to be very accepting and nice in his response if there are women who are thrown off thinking a woman will be walking through the door when infact it is a male doctor.

Interesting topic....

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